Ivory Tower
by ReddTwilight
Summary: Recently orphaned Bella Swan is sent to a prestigious private high school by her godparents. Edward Cullen arrives one month later, desperate to be with his friends. Will Bella see him as some rich snob, or will she let him help her move past her pain?
1. New Arrival

**A/N: Chapter 1, revised. Sets on Polyvore for this story include Bella and Edward's Valentine date outfits, school uniforms, Bella's outfit for dinner with Edward's parents, prom dresses, graduation outfits, and the epilogue. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**BPOV**

…_If you let me I could,  
I'd show you how to build your fences,  
Set restrictions, separate from the world.  
The constant battle that you hate to fight,  
Just blame the limelight.  
_

I sighed as I turned off my iPhone and stored it away in my purse. My cab was pulling up to my final destination. At least I thought of it that way. I had nowhere else to go at this point. My godparents were sending me here without so much as a goodbye, or a 'nice to have you for all of five days' before they shipped me to this godforsaken place.

But I already knew what I would do here. I would build my fences and keep myself separated from everyone around me. It was only for less than a year anyway.

As the cab came to a stop outside the entrance to the prestigious high school my godparents had sent me to, a young man who couldn't be any older than me dressed in the school uniform I assumed was waiting for me, hands folded behind his back. I had to admit he was rather good looking, his blonde hair in disarray without it looking like bed head.

He opened the cab door for me waiting for me to get out. I paid the driver quickly and collected my purse and coat from the seat next to me.

"Welcome to Chapman Academy, Isabella." He greeted me as I got out of the cab. "I'm Jasper Whitlock, president of the senior class. I'll be taking you on a tour of the school, and then to your room. Don't worry about your bags, they'll be taken inside for you."

I offered a small 'thanks' before leaving my coat and grabbing my wallet and phone from my purse and following him inside. He held the door for me because I assumed he was supposed to, not because he wanted to. I quickly stashed both items in the back pockets of my jeans, continuing to follow Jasper down a thickly carpeted hallway lined with wood-paneled walls.

I was arriving on a Saturday, so there weren't very many students occupying the rooms he showed me. We started with the dining hall, and then moved on to the classrooms, the music room, and the library, which had been recently expanded and was currently empty of all books. Jasper mentioned the librarian was looking for volunteer students to donate some free time to help reshelve the books. I was more than willing.

I would be more than happy to bury myself in a corner with some good books for as long and as often as I could.

Afterwards Jasper took me to meet the dean and I had a short conversation with him, mostly introductions and welcomes. He handed me my schedule for the school year, which began on Monday and wished me luck.

Afterwards Jasper showed me to my to room telling me dinner was being served at 6pm, and that I did not need to wear my uniform tonight, or tomorrow since it was the weekend, but starting Monday I was required to wear it five days a week from 7am to 7pm. Great, whatever. I didn't care. Less stress for me to try and measure up in terms of clothing. Not like I care anyway.

Jasper told me his room number if I had any questions and left. He was in the boys' wing on the other side of the school. Yeah, like I was going to walk over there. I'll just suck it up and knock on some girl's door in this hallway.

Speaking of which I looked my door up and down taking in the nameplate on the door. 'Isabella Swan' was engraved on a rectangular bronze plaque hanging on the door. I shoved the key Jasper had given into the lock with a loud sigh and turned it. The lock clicked and the knob turned easily giving me access to my bedroom.

I was definitely going to be comfortable living here. I had a full-sized bed laid out with cream-colored sheets, tan walls and thick beige carpeting. The lighting in the room was bright, but not too much so. All of the furniture matched, expensive wood stained a rich dark color. There were two doors on the far right wall; one was my closet, and the other my bathroom I assumed.

I let the heavy door close behind me and twisted the lock on the inside knob, letting out a heavy sigh as I slumped against it. My back started to slide down the door until my bottom made contact with the floor and I curled up hugging my knees to my chest. I had promised myself that once I got here and saw the place, _then_ I could cry.

And so I did, letting my head fall to my knees as soft sobs started wracking my body.

~*~*~IT~*~*~

I skipped dinner later in the evening, not having much of an appetite, and opted instead to unpack everything. My two suitcases were stacked next to my dresser, and the boxes of my belongings were piled in the corner. All I had in those were my knickknacks, books, and my laptop. I knew right now I was going to be throwing most of it away. I didn't want it.

I emptied out my two suitcases into my dresser, hanging up my few button downs and my one dress in the closet. I don't know why I kept it, but I figured I would need it eventually for some occasion. My wardrobe these days consisted mostly of comfy jeans, sweats, t-shirts, and plaid button downs. Not exactly private school attire, but it would be good enough for the weekends.

My uniform had been waiting for me, sealed in a long plastic dress bag, on my bed. So I opened it, looked over the white blouse, mid-thigh length navy pleated skirt, and matching blazer with the school's coat of arms on the left breast pocket. There were also a couple pairs of knee high navy blue socks, a pair of black shoes, and a woman's necktie.

I huffed throwing the item down on my bed. I had no freaking clue how to tie these things. I picked everything up and hung the uniform in my closet leaving the shoes next to my collection of flip-flops and Converse.

I set up my laptop and stowed my small collection of books away on the shelves provided, and then got to work going through the rest of my junk. I kept my two photo albums, my old quilt, and the framed pictures I had of me and my parents before deciding to throw out everything else. Just as I was closing up the box and getting ready to label it as trash, I noticed an old friend at the bottom.

I reached in and pulled out the stuffed St. Bernard dog my father had given me on my fifth birthday. I had named it 'Charlie' after him. I gave it a firm hug and reached up to place it on my bed. I sealed the box and wrote 'garbage' on it in black permanent marker. I decided to leave it in the corner for now until I knew what to do with it.

I climbed up on my bed and held Charlie in my lap pulling one of my photo albums toward me. A picture of my parents and I on our last vacation together greeted me on the first page. It was only a couple years old and I remembered the camping trip happily. It was the last vacation we had taken as a family.

Just three weeks ago my mother and father had died coming home from dinner together. They had been hit on the passenger side of the car by an idiot running a red light. My mother died instantly and my father died on the way to the hospital from internal injuries and massive bleeding. The irony of it was my father was Chief of Police where I used to live on the other side of the country.

I stayed with a friend of the family for two weeks, getting things settled. I had no other family, and the only people there to help me were friends of my father whom he had known for more than twenty years.

However, it stated in my parents' will that my godparents were responsible for caring for me should they pass on before I turned eighteen. I was only a little more than a month away from that mark when they died, but I was still sent to my godparents after the funeral.

They were old friends of my mother who she knew from college, and knew would provide a good home for me should anything happen to her and my father. Well, I guess they changed over the years, or by 'good home' my mother meant 'well-off and able to provide'.

I assumed it was the latter that was true because the day I arrived they explained to me that they were going to be leaving the country for an extended amount of time and were sending me to a private high school, a.k.a boarding school. They had already paid my tuition in full for the one year I would be there. Four days later I got on a plane and flew from the west side of the country to the east.

If I was being honest with myself, I really didn't mind. I didn't want to live in a house where I wasn't wanted. And I had always dreamed of an east coast college. Now all I had to do was keep up good grades and I had my shot at getting in to Harvard, like I always wanted.

I flipped the last page of my photo album and shut it before lying down on my bed as I cuddled Charlie closer. I fell into an uneasy sleep, plagued with happy memories.

I woke up in a cold sweat bolting up on my bed. My room had gone completely dark, and glancing over at the digital clock on my nightstand I was informed that it was 2:37 in the morning. With a moan, I swung my feet over the side of my bed and felt around for the light switch.

I had to shield my eyes at the instant brightness. A minute later I was padding across my room to my small bathroom. I splashed some water on my face and brushed my teeth. My stomach growled in protest and I wished I had gone to dinner. But then I remembered that I still had that little packet of peanuts they give you on the plane.

I fished said bag from my purse and sat down at my desk to munch on them while I turned my computer on to check my email. I knew I wasn't going to have much, and I suppose I could set up my account for the school on the website while I was on.

After completing that task I changed into some pajamas and got comfortable again in my bed. It wasn't hard to. It was like lying on a cloud. I reached over onto the nightstand and shut the light off knowing I wasn't going to be falling back asleep any time soon.

~*~*~IT~*~*~

My cell phone woke me in the morning at 8:30 as it vibrated underneath my pillow. I reached for it shutting the damn thing off and rolled over throwing my legs over the side of my bed. Soft sunlight was streaming through my closed curtains painting my room in a delicate glow. No morning should look so full of promise.

I showered, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and pulled on a pair of Converse before heading down to breakfast. Among the papers the dean handed me yesterday one listed the meal schedule. On the weekends breakfast was served from 8 am to 10 am.

I found the dining hall without trouble, the double doors were open and I could hear conversations and the clinking of cutlery on plates as I walked up. Barely any heads looked up at me as I entered. I had to slow my pace as my eyes took in the size of the dining hall before me. I looked around for an empty table, but there weren't any. I settled for one of the less crowded tables in the back.

"Isabella,"

I whipped around when I heard my name called and saw Jasper waving to me from a table with a group of other people with him. I walked over tentatively, a little uncomfortable.

"I didn't see you at dinner last night." He said as I sat down next to him.

"I skipped, I wasn't feeling too well." I explained, keeping my eyes on my lap and hoping he didn't ask for further details.

"It's a lot to get used to, I understand. So what would you like for breakfast?"

"I can get it myself." I spoke quietly as I fiddled with the wrapped fork and knife in a linen napkin in front of me.

"You don't have to. They serve you here." Jasper's eyes looked over my shoulder as if in point, and suddenly a champagne glass with orange juice in it was placed in front of me.

"I guess just cereal." I answered quietly when I was prompted for food. I didn't elaborate on what kind I wanted. I didn't particularly care.

"You'll adjust." Jasper smiled at me. I tried to smile back but I couldn't find it in myself.

I peeked out from under my lashes and noticed the girl across from me lay her hand on Jasper's. She was shorter than me with cropped black hair that lay stylishly flat against her head. She had a pixie-like face and a brilliant smile.

She must have caught me looking because she was saying my name a moment later and introducing herself. "Alice Brandon. I'm two doors down from you, so don't be shy if you ever need anything."

"Thank you," I looked around the table a little uneasily at all the beautiful people I was sitting with. I really didn't belong here. I was the plainest girl; I stuck out like a sore thumb.

Alice started pointing around the table at everyone else. "That's Emmett and his girlfriend Rosalie. Don't be intimidated by her. She comes off as a bitch, but she's really just a coward inside. Emmett's a nice enough guy, he treats girls with respect. Don't let him intimidate you either. He may tease you, but I promise it's all in fun.

"That's Tanya and her two younger sisters, Irina and Kate. They're both juniors, and Tanya is in our class. She's a nightmare, don't get on her bad side." Alice warned me. "And you already know Jasper."

"Yes, thank you so far for…for being so nice."

Jasper smiled as he sipped his coffee and Alice pecked him on the cheek. I suddenly wished I had someone by my side right now like that. My cereal arrived then, Cheerios, and I bowed my head starting to move the little Os around without actually eating them.

"Jasper, did you hear about all the shit Ed did this summer? He's trying really hard to get his parents to send him here. He must be getting so lonely in mainstream by himself at this point."

Jasper laughed loudly at Emmett's statement. "I hope he gets sent here, I need a little something." Tanya added.

"Tanya, he'll never sleep with you. He's never wanted to." Rosalie shot back. "You're not his type."

"I can be whatever he wants." Tanya snapped, spearing some of her fruit salad with her fork. "If he's half as good in bed as he is at kissing, I don't care."

"You never kissed him!" Alice yelled down the table.

"I made out with him last Christmas. My family and his family attended the same party."

"Whatever, Tanya, just keep feeding yourself those delusional stories." Alice flipped her hand in Tanya's direction dismissively.

I continued to push my cereal around as I nibbled on it slowly, the crunchy Os turning to mush. "What are you doing today, Bella?" Alice asked me, drawing me from my thoughts.

"Uh, I guess I was just going to stay in my room." I answered quietly.

"Come into town with me, we'll do a little shopping."

I sat there chewing on my lower lip for a minute as I decided. I had the money my parents had left me. It wasn't much. My godparents had at least done that for me before they shipped me off. They had made some calls to my family's lawyer about the estate and made sure I had the money before I left. They didn't want it; it was pocket change to them.

"Um…ok. Thanks,"

"Great," Alice smiled brightly. "Let's finish eating and then we'll head out."

I managed a tiny smile across the table in gratitude and went back to my stirring. Five minutes later Alice was dragging me out of my seat and out the dining hall back toward our hallway. She instructed me to grab a coat and my bag and she would be right over to get me.

We must have spent five hours in the local shopping center. Alice was laden with half a dozen bags when we got back. I had only one. I couldn't really find anything that screamed 'buy me' from the racks. I headed straight to the clearance racks in e1very store we went to, and Alice dragged me away from them each time instead steering me toward things that had just been released and were ridiculously priced.

I wound up settling a new pair of black heels to go with the one dress I owned, a basic black clutch and a new sweater. Of course of all these things was planned around my dress that I would never wear, but at least I had these staple pieces now. I got a couple new pairs of jeans and a few more pairs of knee-high socks.

Alice must have purchased five new outfits. I was shocked with the way she flew in and out of the aisles, chatted with the sales ladies as if they were old friends, and they probably were, and managed to get better deals than what was listed.

We grabbed lunch while we were out, Alice paying for my salad no matter how I tried to protest. It was a ten dollar salad and I felt guilty for making her pay that when I could handle it, but she insisted.

"We're friends, Isabella." She stated as she reached across the small table we sat at placing her hand on mine. "If it makes you feel better next time we go shopping together I'll let you buy lunch, ok?"

"Friends?" I asked quietly, looking up at her.

"Yeah," Alice beamed at me. "I can tell you need a friend right now. Jasper told me about your parents, and your godparents."

"Oh," I bowed my head for a moment and sipped my lemonade. "How did he find out?" I asked, suddenly realizing what Alice had just divulged.

"Oh, since he's the president of the senior class and it's his responsibility to welcome you and all that crap, the dean gave him a brief overview of everything that had happened recently in your life. It helps with the welcoming process if he knows a little bit about you, that way he can make your transition as smooth as possible."

"Oh, ok. That's ok, I guess. I assume all of my teachers are going to know."

"Yeah, they're all typically briefed on any new students that will be joining on short notice like you are, just so they are prepared to help you should you come to them looking for advice or guidance or anything like that."

I scooped a little bit of my Cobb salad and chewed carefully before asking my next question. "Isn't there a counselor in the school or something like that?"

"There is, but most of us feel comfortable going to someone we see on a daily basis rather than the counselor we hardly ever see. Its human nature to want to talk to someone you're more comfortable with than a complete stranger, don't you think?" Alice sipped her soup quietly, her eyes watching me as I mulled over her words.

I suppose she had a point.

We finished our lunch talking about classes and which teachers we had. Apparently we would be in French together. Alice promised she would save me a seat next to her. She inquired as to why I was taking French and not Italian.

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, your name, Isabella, is Italian right?"

"Yeah, I prefer Bella, though."

"Means _beautiful_ in Italian, right?"

"That's _bello_, but I suppose my name could mean that." _Even if I'm not_.

"So why French?" Alice asked as we got up and threw our trash out.

"I want to go to Paris someday. My parents…" I stopped for a moment and collected myself as a fresh wave of pain made its way through my body. "My parents had planned on going there for their honeymoon, but were never able to afford it. So, after they died I promised them that I would go there someday and document my entire experience. And then when I came back I would visit their graves and share everything with them."

Alice reached over wrapping an arm around my shoulders and hugged me gently. It was the first time anyone other than close family friends had offered me any kind of physical comfort.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. Things will get easier, I promise. Do you mind if I share something with you?" She asked. We walked out to her car and got in.

"Sure, but you don't have to if you're uncomfortable."

"No, I'm all right. It's been years, and even though the pain is still there, I'm ok now." Alice pulled out of the parking lot, got on the highway and headed back toward the school. "My parents had a baby five years ago, my little brother. He was the sweetest little thing you've ever seen. All plump cheeks and arms and legs. He had the most endearing dimples whenever he smiled. However, he was terminally ill. He died shortly after his first birthday. My parents did everything they could to help him, but in the end his tiny body stopped fighting.

"The loss of him almost killed my mother. She wouldn't eat for weeks, she didn't sleep. Some days she never even got out of bed. My father was ready to take her to the hospital, but just the thought of that snapped her out of her depression. She never wanted to go back to the place where her son had died."

Alice looked over at me, her eyes shiny with moisture, but she didn't cry. "That fall my parents sent me here. I went without a fight. I knew my mother needed space to get well, and my father wanted to be around to help care for her. I didn't want to be any kind of hindrance, so I agreed to go to high school here. Jasper came along the next year with Emmett after putting up a fight about needing to be with me. Emmett had the same deal with Rosalie. We all grew up together. And we're all hoping that our other friend will be sent here soon. We all miss him terribly and don't get to see him except at holidays."

"Is that the guy you were talking about at breakfast?"

Alice laughed lightly, throwing her head back. "Yeah, Edward. He's a great guy don't get me wrong. He just misses all of us as much as we miss him, and acted like a bit of a jackass this summer so his parents would send him here. However, they know what a bad influence Emmett is on him and they want him to concentrate on his work and not "other things"." Alice explained as she raised her fingers and gestured quotations in the air.

"Like whatever it is Emmett influences on him?" I guessed.

"Yeah, like girls."

"Ah," I nodded understanding now. "Like that one girl at the table."

"Pssh, Tanya. She _wishes_ she was at the top of Edward's list. No, Tanya is a whore. Always was, always will be. I've known since she was six. She always has to be the center of attention and not in a good way. She's the Peace Pipe of the school, you know. Everyone's had a hit."

I tried to hide back a laugh and Alice encouraged me to just let it out. I had known a girl like that back in my hometown. She had been the "school bicycle" so to speak; everyone had had a ride.

"Don't try and make friends with her. Her sisters are ok, Kate and Irina. They're very nice and not at all like Tanya, although they are influenced by her a bit. Tanya is just a stuck up whore of a girl. She'll tear you down and make you feel like shit, but never take it personally. She has some severe issues with herself. More than once I've recommended she get professional help, but she's stubborn and I think she prefers to be miserable."

"Is she like one of those people who are so miserable that everyone around has to be miserable too, so she feels better?"

"Yes she is. Very perceptive of you, Bella. You pay attention."

"I try," I replied sheepishly, because Alice had genuinely meant the comment. Never had anyone been so kind to me that I had just met. My previous high school had been cliquey, and I knew this place was going to be the same, but I was glad I now had someone I could turn to if I needed a friend.

I helped Alice bring all of her bags in and started to head to my room when she thrust one of her bags into my hand. It was stuffed with several different items I remember her selecting, but not trying on.

"This is for you, and don't make a fuss. I wanted to get you some nice things."

"Alice, I-" I started to protest, but she held up a hand to stop me.

"Take them, Bella. I got them for you. They're your size and I know they'll look fabulous on you. You need some outfits for the events and parties here, anyway."

"I never planned on attending anything."

Alice scoffed and planted her tiny fists on her nonexistent hips. "Of course you're attending them." She laughed. "And I'm going to make you look magnificent each time. You'll be the jealousy of every girl in the room, and the dream of every guy.

I sighed and took the bag. There was no point in trying to argue with Alice Brandon, I would never win. So I didn't bother trying to explain to her that I didn't want to be with anyone. I just couldn't open myself up right now.

If ever again.

~*~*~IT~*~*~

I woke up the next morning late, since I stayed up all night memorizing my schedule and routes to my classes using the map of the school the dean had also provided me with. I lifted my head off my desk as my alarm went off on my nightstand, cursing loudly when I saw the time.

I rushed through a shower and dressed in my uniform before grabbing my tote bag and literally ran to the dining hall. I had about five minutes to eat, and the only thing left on the buffet table was fruit.

I grabbed a banana and was about to plop down in the first seat I could find when I heard Alice calling my name. I walked over, sitting down next to her and started to peel my banana.

"Did you just roll out of bed, Bella, look at you." She teased. "Turn, face me." She instructed. I did so, shoving my fruit down my throat as Alice placed several items from her tote bag on the table. She brushed out my hair and clipped back the sides with berets and then grabbed my face and started applying makeup.

"Alice, what are you doing?" I practically yelled at her.

"Hold still, I'm almost done." She brushed a couple different things across my cheekbones and eyes and smoothed out my hair before handing me a small compact mirror. "Take a look."

I had to admit I was impressed with her work. I looked like I wasn't wearing any makeup except for eye shadow and a little eyeliner. My hair looked a million times better, cute even. "Thanks," I mumbled, sipping the orange juice she had just handed me.

"No problem, come to my room in the morning from now on, I'll make you perfect in five minutes."

I laughed a little uneasily. Jasper leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Be afraid, be very, _very_ afraid." He chuckled lightly when I saw Alice throw him daggers. I laughed as well and set my champagne flute down as a loud bell rang overhead.

Time to start classes.


	2. Misunderstandings

**A/N: Chapter 2, revised. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. **

**EPOV**

All I could think was that it was about time my parents finally put their foot down and sent me away. All I had to do was cause sufficient mischief in my neighborhood over the summer. And by sufficient mischief I mean the destruction of certain things, like my father's car when I totaled it by crashing into a tree, purposefully of course. Or like when I started setting off firecrackers in the street at midnight on July 4th. But I think the final straw was when I openly smoked pot at a formal dinner party we attended just a few weeks ago.

I let out a very content sigh as the town car pulled up in front of the academy. Jasper and Emmett were already waiting for me, Emmett practically bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"Don't look so excited to be here." My father said from the seat next to me. "I've already instructed the dean to keep a very close eye on you. I'm not happy with you at all, Edward."

"Pssh, I'm not going to cause any trouble here."

"Mm, hm. Sure you're not. Just like you didn't cause all the trouble you did this summer."

I ignored him and leaned back against the seat. He didn't understand that I had done of all that just so they would finally think I needed tighter reins on my life and send me here. Well, my devious little plan had worked, and now I was stuck right where I wanted to be.

It may be a waste since I'll only be here for my senior year, but I already knew that Em, Jazz and I are all planning on going to Harvard next fall. So it's not a total waste of my time. I got out of the car greeting my two best friends with the traditional man handshake and one arm hug.

"Took you long enough, man." Emmett punched my shoulder.

"I had to raise a little hell, but hey, I made it didn't I?"

"Yeah, with just so much time left to spare." Jasper added sarcastically.

"What? We're all heading to the same college next year. We got plenty of time to spare."

With a round of raucous laughter between the three of us we turned and headed toward the school.

"Edward, don't you go anywhere yet," My father called behind me. I stopped, groaning to myself as I waited for him to join us. He tipped the driver and walked over stuffing his wallet in his back pocke, looking stern.

"Hey, Mr. Cullen, how's it hanging?" Emmett jokingly asked. Jasper and I tried our hardest to hide our snickers, but we failed epically.

"Hello, Emmett. I think you know how everything is going, since it was you who persuaded my son to light those damn firecrackers that _almost_ landed him in jail for the night."

"Aw, come on, dad. Lighten it. It was just a little fun. Our neighborhood is way too quiet."

"Yes, well you know us "older" folks like it that way. Let's go, son." He steered the three of us inside as Emmett, Jasper, and I continued to snicker and slapped each other high fives.

The dean greeted us personally just inside the door, shaking first my father's hand and then mine. "Carlisle, I'm so glad Edward is finally joining us."

"So am I," My father deadpanned with a look in my direction. I just kept smiling. "He's become a bit of a…handful, shall we say. Although I think he's just doing this so he can be with his friends." He added in a whisper at the end.

"Spot on, dad." I said to him grinning like an idiot. I looked down to the floor biting my lip to keep from laughing as he shot me another death glare.

"Anyway, welcome, Edward. We'll be sure to keep you on the straight and narrow for the next nine months. Now, let's get started, shall we?"

Emmett, Jasper and I all hung back talking quietly with ourselves as the dean lead my father and I through the school. I had already seen it a couple times on past visits when I came up here to see Em and Jazz, but getting a tour would be a good refresher for me so I didn't get lost on Monday when I had to start classes.

It was only the beginning of October, so I wasn't missing much. I could catch up in about a week and be ahead a week after that. I didn't fool around when it came to my schoolwork. I was determined to get into Harvard and after that Johns Hopkins. I knew I could be just as good a surgeon as my father, if not better. But I never told him that, I didn't want to undermine his confidence in himself.

Even if he did already know that I was way smarter than him.

We paused at the library because my father just had to notice that it had been recently expanded and had all kinds of questions and comments about it. Jasper and Emmett kept walking past it and I was about to follow them when a short brunette dressed in jeans and a band t-shirt caught my eye as she reached up to a shelf way above her head to place a book there. I caught the sliver of skin exposed by the action and couldn't help but be fascinated by her movements.

"Who's that?" I asked as Jasper passed me.

"That's Bella Swan, a newbie just like you." He explained with a snicker. I flipped him off. "She just got here last month. She was sent by her godparents."

"Was she doing the same kind of shit I was?" I asked looking over my shoulder at Jasper for a moment.

"No, her parents died a month before her eighteenth birthday." Jasper explained quietly, his tone low like he didn't want anyone to hear our conversation.

I looked back to the girl with renewed sympathy. She was reaching for the same shelf, balancing on one foot on the step stool she was standing on. There was no way she could reach that shelf. It was too high, and she was too short. But reach it she did, and stepped down looking satisfied with her work.

That's when she looked up and caught me staring. I was immediately hypnotized by her big brown eyes, seeing all the sadness in them, as if they pleaded for someone to hold her. I knew right then that she was the most beautiful girl I had ever laid eyes on.

"She's not exactly on par with the rest of us, if you know what I mean." Emmett said quietly to me. I knew exactly what he meant.

"Should that matter?" I retorted back. "So what if someone else paid for her to be here. It's bad enough her godparents didn't want her. Do you have to talk shit like that about her, too?"

"You sound like Jasper. He's defending her all the time. I mean she's a nice enough girl, but she's quiet. Like unnaturally quiet. She never raises her hand in class, she hardly ever speaks, let alone eats at meals. And she never hangs out on the weekends. Her door is always shut. She's a hermit."

"Yeah, well I would be too if I was going through what she was." I commented looking back to her. She was back on the step stool reaching to place another book on the same shelf yet again. It fell just as she managed to slip it onto the shelf. I saw her mouth 'fucker' at the book and had to laugh.

She looked up again in surprise, her face fear stricken. I quickly walked away from the door, Jasper and Emmett following as we attempted to catch up with my dad and the dean.

"You will do exactly as you're told while you're here, Edward. This is not a vacation for you." Carlisle reminded me later on when he was getting ready to leave.

"Yes, dad. I know." I raised my right hand, "I hereby swear to uphold my duty as a responsible student and do my part to treat my fellow classmates and teachers with the utmost respect." I smiled broadly at the end.

Carlisle managed a tiny smile at my sarcastic remark and pulled me into a tight hug. "Wiseass," he muttered as he let me go. "Behave and take care of yourself. Your mother and I will see you at Thanksgiving."

With that he turned and got into the town car. I stood waving as it drove off. I knew I was going to miss my parents, but I would never admit that to anyone. Jasper, Emmett and I headed inside together once my father was gone and went straight to the dining hall for dinner.

We sat down at their usual table with Jasper and Emmett's girlfriends. I was horrified to see Tanya, although not surprised that she was already eye fucking me. I was going to have to draw that line tonight when she made her first move. There was no way I was letting Tanya anywhere near me.

I greeted everyone, along with Tanya's two younger sisters and settled myself in a chair. There was still one empty seat across from me and I wondered who typically occupied it. I got my answer a moment later when the brunette from the library sat down. I saw now that the band t-shirt she was wearing was for the Kings of Leon and I felt my jeans constrict a little. They were my favorite fucking band of all time, and just the thought that this girl listened to them too made her even sexier to me.

Her eyes went wide as she looked at me, obviously recognizing me from earlier and she shifted uneasily in her seat as she cleared her throat. My attention was drawn away from her when Alice asked me about the random shit I had done over the summer to land myself here.

"Oh you know, this and that." I grinned. "Destroyed my father's car, rode my dirt bike through the backyard after a rain storm and got mud all over the freshly painted deck…just the basics."

"Almost got arrested, had sex in his mother's car…" Emmett continued. I reached over and smacked him upside the head. Rosalie smacked my hand in return cursing at me.

"What's got your panties in a knot tonight, Hale?"

"Nothing," she spat at me.

"It's that time of the month." Emmett whispered to me with a snicker.

"Fuck off, Emmett! Not it's not." Rose shouted at him and punched him squarely in the arm.

"Ow, babe, that actually hurt." Emmett whined as he rubbed the spot.

"Good it was supposed to."

I turned back to the brunette when I heard her laugh quietly to herself. She had her head down and was shaking lightly with her chuckles. After a minute she picked her head up as she caught her breath and tried not to keep laughing, but she failed and had to bow her head again.

"Edward, this is Bella. Bella, Edward." Jasper said through his own laughter over the situation between Emmett and Rosalie.

"Hi, Bella, nice to meet you."

She raised one hand in greeting. "Same,"

I was just about to ask her how she liked the school, but our dinners were brought over and I was so hungry that I dug in without a second thought. I peeked glances at Bella throughout the meal, noticing that she pushed her food around her plate more so than she ate it, but she did eat.

She was quiet, only speaking when a question was directed at her. I watched as she fiddled with her hair and bit her bottom lip in between answers. They were the two most endearing nervous habits I had ever seen in a girl. Alice made constant conversation about clothes, her favorite subject, and I watched as Bella did her best to remain animated about the topic, but I could tell she didn't care. However, she was good at acting, I'd give her that.

"So are you going to actually eat dessert tonight, or are you going to skip it like usual?" Jasper teased her, nudging her gently with his elbow.

Bella grinned looking down at where her arms were folded on the table. "I guess I'll eat a little." She answered quietly.

"Don't let him badger you, Bella, he's just being a pill." Alice gave her boyfriend a push that barely moved him.

I watched the exchange between my best friends and looked down the table to Emmett and Rosalie. They were deep in conversation with Tanya, or at least Rosalie was. Emmett was being his usual jackass self by trying to get his spoon to stick to his nose.

I was the only hold out in the group in terms of a significant other. My eyes landed on Bella again as she looked up at me, but she just turned to the side moving her hair over her shoulder to created a curtain between so I couldn't see her face. I was a little put off by it, but I shook it off as her being uncomfortable. It was reasonable. I didn't get the chance to call her out on it because I was too busy eating my brownie and enjoying it. Bella simply nibbled at her ice cream a few times before pushing it away and getting up excusing herself for the evening.

I shoved the rest of my brownie in my mouth and downed the rest of my soda as I got up and walked after her. I could feel all eyes from my table on my back, especially Tanya's. They burned a hole as I followed Bella across the dining hall. I was definitely going to have to put her in her place tonight.

"Bella, wait a second." I called after her reaching for her hand. She around whipping her hand out of mine as she stared daggers at me.

"What?" She spat, crossing her arms over her chest. I tried to ignore how the motion pushed her breasts up a little.

"Why are you leaving?" I asked, tearing my eyes away from her chest to look at her.

"Because I don't like to be stared at like I'm being judged." She responded quietly with no less venom in her voice.

"No one was staring at you, Bella." I retorted.

"Speak for yourself."

"I wasn't staring at you like that, Bella."

She shot a hand up to stop me. "Save it, Edward. I don't care. I may not have the background or the money that you do, but that doesn't mean I'm worthless."

"Bella, I…"

"No," She held up a hand again. "I don't know you and you don't know me. So let's just…" She stopped and bit her lower lip again her eyes looking around for a moment before she turned them back to me. "Let's just leave it that way, ok?" She said softly. She turned away from me and continued to make her way out of the dining hall without looking back at me.

"She shot you down," Jasper commented as I returned to my seat.

"Shut up," I snapped at him, folding my arms on the table and laying my chin on them.

"Hey, don't get all pissy with me."

"What just happened, Edward?" Alice asked as she reached over laying a hand on Jasper's arm to calm him. She kept her tone even shooting us both warning looks at the same time.

"She thought I was judging her all night. I was just watching her." I stated defensively.

"Bella's not exactly in the right frame of mind to be "watched" right now. She's uncomfortable enough. You don't need to make it worse by staring at her while she eats. Don't deny it, I caught you."

"Yeah, whatever." I mumbled as I got up shoving my chair out of the way. I headed for the door, hands shoved in my pockets.

I was tempted to slam through the door but I kept it inside and slipped out quietly. I was halfway down the hall when I heard the door open behind me, and I turned to confront Jasper, or Emmett, or Alice, or whoever it was, but I was backed into the wall and pinned there as Tanya crashed her mouth to mine.

My body's natural instinct was to get a raging hard on as she shoved her hand down the front of my jeans, but I immediately yanked her hand out and pushed her off me.

"What the fuck, Tanya? Is that you're MO now, randomly ambush some poor guy and then attack his junk?" I asked as I wiped my mouth off.

"Only if its you, Edward. I've been waiting for you to get here." She sauntered back up to me, raising one knee to my hip.

I grasped her shoulder and started to push her away again, but she was digging her nails into my back as she held on. "Tanya, I don't want you, get off of me right now."

"Doesn't feel that way," She whispered, nibbling my earlobe as she cupped the front of my jeans.

I shoved her off me. "I have no control over that. Just…leave me alone, Tanya."

She latched back on, pressing her lips to mine forcefully, so much so that it actually hurt. I really pushed her back this time so she stumbled away from me. "I mean it, Tanya. Touch me like that again and I'll report it as sexual harassment. I'm sure your parents would just love to know that that has been added to your already extensive record."

I took off down the hall and made my way to the music room. My target was the grand piano. If there was one thing I truly missed from home it was my own piano, the one I had been playing since I was three. I tapped the first few keys to make sure the instrument was in tune. Of course it was, considering the place I was in.

I sat down on the bench and started playing something classical, something slow and almost sad. I just let the music flow from my fingertips and out into the quiet of the room around me. Eventually it transitioned into one of my own pieces, something I had been working on all summer and was not quite finished with yet.

I played my way up and down the octaves a couple of times testing out different sounds and melodies once I reached the point in the music where I had left off. I started the piece over and played the new notes with the already completed portion. It still didn't sound quite right, but at least I could continue to work on it here.

I got up off the bench and slid the cover over the keys before leaving the room. I had never bothered to turn the light on in the first place, but the light from the hallway was sufficient for me to find my way. Since I had worked off some frustration that way I didn't feel the need to join Emmett in the small gym and beat the hell out of a punching bag, as was his custom on some nights before going to bed. He said it helped him sleep better when he couldn't get sex from his girlfriend.

I locked my bedroom door behind me and slumped against it tossing the key on top of my dresser. I still had to unpack and decided to keep myself occupied for an hour or so by doing that. I took a shower afterwards, glad that my dick had calmed down the moment Tanya was away from me. God I hated her. She was disgusting and vile and absolutely not the usual girl I went after. I had been dead serious when I threatened her. The last thing I needed was the stress from her chasing after me because she couldn't take no for an answer.

I slept peacefully, surprisingly, and woke up early. After checking the time I knew Emmett and Jasper would be out back on the running track doing a few laps before breakfast. I decided to go out there, but I wasn't running. I dressed in jeans and a hoodie for the day and walked out in to the misty rain.

Nothing kept these two from a daily run; except maybe a downpour, blizzard, or the threat of heat stroke. I walked up to the fence around the track and leaned against it pulling my hood over my hair.

"It might actually do you some good to join us." Jasper called as he passed.

"Yeah, I don't think so." I responded. "I'm more of a bag puncher."

"Yeah, your own bag." Emmett laughed. I flipped him off as he jogged passed me. "Tanya wasted no time getting up when you left last night. Did you set your perimeter?"

"Please don't bring up that foul creature." I waited for Jasper to make another round before continuing the conversation.

"Someone's in a rut this morning. Still sore over Bella?"

I didn't respond to that one, just leaned against my arms and kicked at the fence.

"I think you hit a nerve on that one, Jazz." Emmett called out.

"Piss off, both of you." I yelled out.

Jasper finished his last circuit and jogged over the fence. "Dude, don't get all worked up over it, ok. If Bella wants to be friends with you, she will be. She needs space right now. She's going through a lot of shit."

"Man I'm starving now." Emmett stated as he jogged over. "Let's go eat. I want bacon."

I had to laugh out loud because Emmett always managed to say the most asinine things to help break the tension in an awkward conversation. We headed inside laughing together as Emmett whined some more over his empty stomach and took turns punching each other in the shoulder. I finally had to smack Emmett upside the head when one of his jabs hit my kidney.

"You fucker, that could cause some serious damage!" I yelled at him as we walked inside out of the rain. I started to shake off like a dog, stopping the moment I heard someone screech. I looked up to see Bella backing away from me and holding up a book like shield in front of her.

"Oops, sorry." I apologized quietly.

"Watch where you shake." She retorted before continuing on her way.

I watched her ass in her jeans for a minute before Jasper gave me a shove and Emmett reminded us both how hungry he was. "Was she going to the library on a Sunday?" I asked incredulously a moment later when I realized the hall Bella had been heading down.

"Yeah, she's been helping Ms. Cope clean up and put all the books back on the shelves." Jasper explained. I nodded, keeping in step with him and Emmett.

We reached the dining hall and settled down at our usual table. "I thought she hung out a lot with Alice." I asked.

"Sometimes she does, I think Ali wants to take her to a movie today, try and get her out of the school for a little while."

"She'll say no," Emmett interjected as he stuffed his face with eggs.

"Don't assume, Emmett." Jasper retorted.

"She never goes out." He continued as he started digging into his bacon, "She's a fucking hermit. She didn't even go to the start of term party. She holed up in her room all night with her damn earbuds in all night."

"And how would you know?" I snapped at him. I didn't know where the sudden fury came from, but I didn't like the tone he was using toward Bella.

"Rose told me, and Alice told her because Bella told Alice when she asked her if she was going. And I quote, "No, I don't think so. I just want to listen to my music and get some work done"."

"Emmett you know as much about her as I do. Don't judge her." I grabbed my juice and downed it in one gulp. I had lost my appetite for now and pushed my plate of toast away.

"You guys want to do anything today?" Jasper asked continuing with his cereal.

"Let's take the girls to the movie Alice wants to go see. I could use a little time away from this place." Emmett suggested sitting back in his chair. He let out a small belch not bothering to excuse himself.

"I think I'll just stay here. I want to get to know where all of my classes are." I lied easily. I really didn't want to hang out with Emmett if he was going to continue with his current attitude. I didn't want to hear him making assumptions. It was one of his worse traits and it had gotten him into a lot of trouble in the past with his parents.

I excused myself from the table, my intended target the library as I left the dining hall. I wanted to talk to Bella about what had happened at dinner last night and apologize if I gave her the wrong impression about me. I just wanted to get to know her a little bit. She intrigued me in ways a girl never had before, and I would be lying if I said it didn't turn me on just a little bit.

My intuitions served me well when I arrived at the library and saw Bella pushing a cart of books toward some empty shelves. She grabbed the step stool and positioned it just so before taking handful of books with her to be shelved at the top. She reached up standing on one foot to try and slide a book into place, and I watched her struggle wit it as the step stool started to teeter below her.

I reacted just seconds before the thing slipped out from under her and rushed over grabbing her around the waist and pulling her down before she could fall. Her foot slipped at the same moment, and she fell into my arms inches away from falling flat on her ass.

"Whoa, you ok?" I asked as I steadied her on her feet, my arms still around her.

"I'm fine. Uh…thanks for that. Good thing you were here." She blushed bright crimson and started to extract herself from my arms. I tightened my grip infinitesimally, suddenly not wanting to let her go. I liked the way she felt in my arms. Like she belonged there.

"Edward, I can't finish if you don't let go." She said quietly.

_But I don't want to. Ever._

"Oh, yeah. Sorry." I released her slowly and she turned back setting the step stool right and got back up on it.

"Is that thing really safe?" I asked watching her reach for the shelf.

"Even if its not, why do you care? I can take care of myself, Edward. I haven't been waited on my whole life like some people."

Her remark slapped me across the face and I knew I had to set things right, right then. I don't know where she got the idea in her head about me. If I thought Emmett was a horrible assumer, Bella was ten times worse. Should I really even bother trying with her if she was going to keep shutting me down like this?

I stood there silently watching her as she maintained decent balance and put away more of the books on the cart. She didn't turn back to look at me or make any conversation. She acted as if I wasn't even there. After I had stood for a solid three minutes with absolutely no acknowledgement from Bella I turned and stormed from the library.

If she was going to keep acting this way she wasn't worth the effort. I resigned myself into believing that as I made my way back to my room. But as soon as I had the door shut behind me I remembered the way her soft, warm little body had felt in my arms and I knew my previous thoughts about not wanting anything to do with her were just a big fat lie to myself.

I wanted everything to do with Bella Swan.


	3. Sticks and Stones

**A/N: Chapter 3, revised.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**BPOV**

Listening to him stomp his feet on the way out of the library only aided in proving that he was just a spoiled little brat who didn't like it when he didn't get his way.

Hence the temper tantrum.

I huffed to myself and finished off the books I had rolled out and got down to go retrieve more from the back. So far the library was three-quarters back to normalcy. Another week and Ms. Cope and I would have it done.

"What was all the commotion out there?" She asked me as I walked into the storage room. She was pulling the encyclopedias down and I knew the heavy books were far too much for her to handle. She wasn't an older woman, but she wasn't young anymore either.

"I'll do these," I offered taking her spot on the ladder. "Uh…I slipped on the foot stool but I'm ok."

"That's good. I wouldn't want you to get hurt. Where would I get any help then?" She laughed lightly and I chuckled to myself. "But I thought I heard someone else out there with you."

I looked down at her from where I stood on the ladder handing her another encyclopedia. "Nope, just me." I confirmed, my tone a little short.

"Hm, all right. Do you need help pushing this cart out, it's a little on the heavy side."

I shook my head in the negative as I headed for the door pulling said cart with me. "I'm good, I've got it." I lied, and had to apply a little extra force to get it out the door. I hate encyclopedias. Just give me a search engine on the Internet and I'm good to go.

I spent another hour in the library with Ms. Cope before heading to lunch and then hopefully to my room to get caught up on my homework and maybe take a nap. But as soon as I walked into the dining hall all my plans for the afternoon were squashed when Alice sat me down with her and started begging for me to go to the movies.

I almost said no as soon as she included Edward in the group, but I figured I could sit two seats away from him and maybe enjoy the movie. So I said yes and we planned on leaving right after lunch. Alice made me stop in her room, however, so she could do my hair and my makeup.

"Seriously what's the point?" I exclaimed as she pulled the sides back and clipped the hair in place just as she had on the first day of classes. "You've got nothing to work with here. I mean, look at you. You're gorgeous and I'm just…" I motioned up and down to myself, "I'm just me."

"Stop it, Bella." Alice mocking scolded, "The next time I here put yourself down I'm smacking you and claiming it as self-defense."

"Against what?" I challenged as painted my eyes.

"Yourself. You really do need to work on your self-esteem a bit. Maybe getting laid every so often might help that."

"ALICE!" I shrieked, completely shocked at her. How could she be so bold?"

"Oh calm down, Bella. It was a joke. Sort of."

"Whatever," I huffed and got up from my seat heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" Alice demanded as she followed me, grabbing her purse and coat.

"To get my wallet and my hoodie if that's all right." I responded. Alice trailed along behind me as I walked two doors down to my room and slammed the door behind me before she could follow me in. I wasn't mad at her and I didn't mean to act like such a bitch, but where did she get off lecturing me on my self-esteem? She didn't know anything about me.

"Ready to go?" She asked with a brilliant smile when I opened my door again a minute later. She acted as if nothing had happened. I wish I could be that forgiving.

"Yeah, lets go." I grumble as I yanked my hoodie over my head and pulled the hood over my hair.

Alice, Jasper and I piled into Alice's car and Emmett, Rosalie and Edward took Rose's car. I was glad I wasn't sitting next to Edward. I don't think I could manage it without punching him in the junk for being the arrogant ass that he is.

We arrived twenty minutes early for the movie so Alice decided that the girls should walk around the mall while the guys buy the tickets. I knew it was just a ploy so she could do some window-shopping, and maybe some real shopping as well.

I walked along beside her, Rosalie on her either side ignoring me completely. They both chatted endlessly about a Halloween party at the end of the month formulating ideas for matching costumes that they could do with their boys. Rosalie wanted to do something risqué of course, but I knew it could never be allowed in the school.

Alice settled for something generic, like two pirates. I walked along feeling like the social outcast that I was until Alice started talking to me. I only knew she was because she said my name trying to get my attention.

"What are you going as?" she asked me politely as we stopped in front of a dress store and she perused the inside through the window.

"I'm not going." I mumbled to myself, kicking at the baseboard on the outside of window.

"There's a shocker." Rosalie not so subtlety mumbled.

"You should go, Bella. It's so much fun. Last year Jazz and I went as chess pieces. It was his idea, not mine. But this year it's my turn to pick." She smiled excitedly and clapped her hands.

"I don't want to go. I don't…do parties."

Alice turned to me with her hands clasped in front of her, "Oh just go, come on, please!" She begged as she started to bounce on her toes a little like it would make me say yes.

I sighed heavily leaning my head against the glass. "I'll think about it."

Alice clapped her hands again excitedly and started jabbering about possible costumes for me. I let it go for now, I really wasn't in the mood to argue with Alice over something as trivial as a stupid party.

I glanced at my watch noticing that the movie was starting in ten minutes and announced the information quietly. I heard Rosalie huff and ignored it. She could shove whatever stick was up her ass farther up for all I cared. I wasn't trying to get on her good side.

Both girls joined up with their significant others and I, the third wheel, simply tagged along. Jasper handed me my ticket and I asked him how much it was. It waved it off and told me not to worry. I thanked him quietly, wishing he hadn't done that, and walked off to get some popcorn and soda. I was starving because I had only eaten a yogurt for lunch and had skipped breakfast entirely.

"Hey, do you think we could share a combo and I'll pay for it." I heard behind me. I sighed internally to myself. I really didn't want to share anything with Edward Cullen.

"I don't care."

"Whatever," He huffed and moved beside me pulling his wallet out. I grabbed my soda and he grabbed his offering to carry the popcorn bucket as well. I just shrugged and walked over to the theater entrance handing the attendee my ticket. He gave me back the stub and kept going without waiting for Edward.

"Jesus, could you hold on one second." I heard him complain behind me. I kept going.

I stopped at the top of the ramp and turned around. Edward was just walking up behind me and I swear I think he had been staring at my ass. My suspicion was confirmed as a light blush painted his face, creeping all the way up into his scalp.

"You can pick the seat since we're sharing this." He gestured to the popcorn bucket in his arm.

I glanced around the theater looking for the rest of our group. They were situated in a row at the back, Rose and Emmett already sucking face. I wasn't sitting anywhere near them. I didn't particularly feel like vomiting.

"I guess over there is fine," I said pointing to a couple seats a few rows in front of the other four.

I started walking over, Edward right on me heels and his eyes on my ass. I could feel it. I'd tease him a little bit and sway my hips, but I didn't feel like giving him the pleasure and I didn't feel like listening to him try and flirt with me.

"Good choice," He complemented me as we sat down. We had an excellent view of the screen with no other heads in front of us. Edward immediately put his feet up on the seat in front of him and started shoving popcorn in his mouth.

"Thanks," I mumbled, tossing my hood back and fixing my hair so that it formed a curtain between him and me.

"Want some," He offered me the bucket. I reached over to take a handful and settled my hand in lap as I ate the popcorn one kernel at a time, chewing very, very slowly. I could see Edward glancing at me out of the corners of his eyes every few seconds and I really hoped he wasn't going to start staring at me like he had last night. I didn't need to get arrested for beating the shit out of him.

Once the movie started he kept offering me popcorn every couple of minutes or so. I munched quietly in my seat, paying more attention to the twitching movements in my legs and feet than the actual movie. This was the last place I wanted to be right now, next to the one person who pissed me off more than myself.

I didn't want to be here and was severely anxious to leave. But it would be rude if I got up and walked out after Alice had invited me. So I willed myself to settle down and reached for more popcorn. I pulled back the moment my hand touched Edward's. We had reached at the same time, our fingers making contact. But I didn't pull back because I was disgusted with touching him, I had felt a spark the moment my skin met his and then it was gone as fast as it had come.

I didn't know what it was and apparently Edward had felt it as well because he was staring at me confused. "Sorry," he mumbled, "you first," He offered me the bucket and I tentatively reached over taking a handful.

I watched as he took a handful as well once I pulled my hand away and took a moment to watch him as he popped a couple kernels in his mouth and chewed them for a moment or two before swallowing. I was hypnotized by his movements, unable to tear my eyes away from the line of his arm as he raised it slightly, the length of his fingers curled around the bundle of fluffy kernels in his palm.

I watched those fingers as they fed popcorn into his mouth, his perfect full lips the bottom one just a little pouty. He had light stubble along his jaw that would be gone tomorrow once he shaved it off. I let my eyes travel up his face as I studied the angles of his cheekbones, up to his eyes framed by beautiful long lashes. I knew underneath those lashes were the greenest eyes I had ever seen. I had gotten more than a better view this morning when he caught me.

I felt a shiver run down my spine when I remembered the way he had wrapped his arms around me to keep me steady. I could still feel the heat from his touch and I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it. The moment Ms. Cope called me out on having someone out in the library with me all I could think about was Edward Cullen and his large hands. He had musician's hands. Piano hands to be specific, as my mother would say if she saw them. She had played piano herself and was always going on about how it was so beneficial to a person to have long fingers when it came to playing piano.

A sudden pang of sadness coursed through me as I thought about her, knowing how much I missed her and my father. I sniffed quietly and raised my finger to wipe away a little stray moisture from my eye before it could fall.

"Hey, you ok?" Edward asked me quietly. His tone was soft and full of concern. I looked down when I realized his hand was on my knee.

"I'm fine, I just got something in my eye." I lied, shifting my knee so his hand fell off. He took the hint and pulled his hand back.

"Want some more popcorn?"

"No, thank you, I'm full right now." I took a long pull from my soda closing my eyes as the cool settled the hot in my body from Edward's touch.

We sat there in silence for the rest of the movie, Edward finishing the popcorn. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat beside me toward the end of the movie, and after five minutes of it I was starting to get annoyed.

"Something wrong?" I asked not trying at all to hide the irritation in my voice.

"Nah, don't worry about it." He whispered back.

"You sure, you look really…uncomfortable." I pressed. Yes, I was being nosy.

Edward leaned over until his mouth was at my ear and I caught whiff of the fragrance coming off of him. It was musky and rugged and all together sexy as fuck. It made my mouth water just a little bit.

"I have to pee," He looked at me sheepishly and sat back in his seat. His words made my own bladder convulse and suddenly I had to go as well.

"Um…lets just go then." I said uneasily as I started to get up.

"But the movie's not over yet." He protested quietly.

I looked at my watch. The movie was almost two hours long and we had only five minutes left at this point. "It's almost done, come on." I got up and started walking down the stairs heading for the exit. I heard Edward get up behind me and start following.

"Why in such a rush, Swan. Do you need to pee, too?" He mocked me with a smile. I glanced up at him. My breath almost whooshed out of me when I saw the brilliance of said smile. It touched his eyes as he laughed lightly and reached up to run one hand through his crazy, thick bronze hair.

"For your information, yes." I admitted as a deep blush painted my cheeks.

"Hm…you women have such tiny bladders." He teased, sounding just a touch condescending.

Great, just when I thought maybe he wasn't such a bad guy he had to go and act like a jackass. "Speak for yourself." I retorted, looking him up and down as I let my eyes settle on his crotch for half a second, and I looked back up at him. "Pea-sized," I finished off hoping he got the insult I was throwing at him and not just commenting on the size of his own bladder.

Edward stopped midstride and I kept walking. "What did you just say to me?" He demanded jogging to catch up.

"Leave me alone," I snapped at him. I walked into the ladies' restroom relieved that he couldn't follow me in here. I slammed my stall door shut, took care of business, and washed my hands before stomping out of the bathroom. I ignored all eyes that stared at me. I was too peeved to care.

When I returned to the main area Edward and everyone else was waiting for me. I knew I hadn't taken that long; there was no way I had taken more than five minutes. I headed toward the door ignoring them, especially Edward.

"Bella, wait!" I heard Alice call. I couldn't ignore her so I stopped and turned back around waiting for her to catch up. "Hey, you ok?" She asked as she tucked her arm in mine. I knew she was just being friendly, but I couldn't do friendly right now. All I had wanted this afternoon was some alone time and I had been dragged out to see a shit movie with a group of people, the majority of which I had no desire to be around.

"I'm fine, I just want to go back. I'm tired."

"Ok, we'll go." Alice nodded understandingly.

I could hear Rosalie grumbling impolitely behind us as Alice, Jasper and I walked towards Alice's Porsche. I tried my best not to pay any attention, but she wasn't exactly trying to be quiet.

"I don't think we should bring her anywhere any more, she's so ungrateful and so damn rude."

I felt my fist clench beside me and my body go stiff. I wanted to turn around and punch Rosalie fucking Hale square in the face and destroy that perfect nose. What would she do then? Go crying to mommy and daddy for plastic surgery? Most likely.

"Relax, I'll talk to her later." Jasper said to me, his voice low and soothing. I felt Alice squeeze my hand for a moment and then wrapped her arm around my shoulder as we all parted to get into our separate cars.

I glanced back just in time to see Edward getting into Rosalie's BMW, the expression on his face anger mixed with sympathy as he met my eyes. I narrowed my gaze at him as if to say 'fuck off'. He just shook his head and got into the car slamming the door behind him.

"Asshole," I muttered as I got into the back seat of Alice's car.

"Who's an asshole, Bella?" Jasper asked as we pulled out.

"Edward Cullen. I hate him."

"You've only known him for two days. Has he made that bad of an impression, because that would be a record for him? Usually it only takes two seconds." Jasper laughed out loud at the end of his statement, but when he looked back at me and saw me with my arms crossed over my chest and positively seething, his expression became serious.

"He's only teasing you so much because he like you, Bella."

"Sure, sure." I muttered, started to fiddle with my hair.

"I'm serious,"

I looked up at Jasper when I heard his tone. He really wasn't joking. "He only ever pokes fun like that if he really likes you, or wants to get to know you."

"Odd way of going about that task, don't you think?" I retorted, avoiding his gaze by looking out the window. It had started to rain and I was predicting the trail the droplets would make as they slid down the window.

"He's a guy. That's what we do. We're prideful creatures. We don't like to just come out and say to a girl, 'I like you'. We need to make fun of her first to see if she's interested as well."

I looked back to him for a moment and rolled my eyes before going back to my rain-trail guessing. "And what if all she says back to you is 'piss off'?" I asked.

"Then we try harder," Jasper responded.

"He's telling the truth." Alice chirped in. "About Edward liking you, I mean. I've seen it."

I rolled my eyes again keeping them focused out the window. Now I was watching the thunderheads above us grow darker. We were in for a downpour tonight; a good excuse to stay in my room and get my homework accomplished without being prompted by anything else. A locked door is the universal sign for 'leave me the fuck alone'.

Which is exactly what I intended it for when we got back and I slid the lock with a gratified smile.

~*~*~IT~*~*~

I woke up the following morning with renewed vigor having gotten everything done that needed to be and more. All I required was my locked door, my music, and a hot shower. I got a restful night's sleep, which was rare for me. I hardly ever slept well. I was usually plagued with memories of my parents and I would toss for hours without actually ever closing my eyes.

I suppose I had worn myself out yesterday with all of my anger. I remember Jasper mentioning that he would talk to Rosalie about her damn attitude, but I doubt any words from him would bring that princess down a notch. She needed it t be physically beaten into her.

I donned my uniform, and at this point I rather liked it. I liked how the skirt made my ass look all dainty, and the necktie wasn't so bad once you got used to doing it up every morning. I grabbed my blazer from the back of my chair and my tote bag and headed off to breakfast. Just as I was about to shut my door I made sure I had my key.

The first week I was here I had made the mistake of leaving it on my dresser where I had put it the night before and walked out of my room without it the following morning. It was the most embarrassing moment when some old guy from maintenance showed up and tried to flirt with me while he pretended to have trouble unlocking my door.

After seeing that my key was firmly attached to its lanyard at the bottom of my bag I made my way to the dining hall. Everyone was at the usual table, Alice holding the seat next to her for me with her bag. She removed it as I approached and I sunk down next to her.

"Try the fruit salad this morning," She recommended as she speared a piece of melon with her fork. "They did something different with the syrup. Maybe you can tell me what."

I got up and walked over to the buffet table grabbing myself some of the fruit salad Alice mentioned along with a yogurt. There was champagne flute of orange juice waiting for me when I got back. I sat down noticing that Edward had occupied the seat across from me. He didn't look up from his schedule as he shoved spoonfuls of Cheerios in his mouth.

Damn him, why did he have to like the same cereal I did? Now it's tainted.

I shook my head to myself and started eating. "They added cinnamon." I told Alice a moment later after I tried the fruit.

"Is that what it was? I thought there was a bite to it." She said as she applied lipstick while looking in her compact mirror. "When you're done let me now." She requested, pulling her makeup bag out.

I heard some mumbling down at the other end of the table and glanced to my right to see Rosalie bickering with Emmett over something. She threw me the evilest death glare I had ever seen and got up from the table storming out of the dining hall. Emmett was quick to follow, and my gaze fell back to that end of the table where Tanya was now giving me the same stare.

Jasper scooted a little closer to me. "Ignore them, Rose and Tanya." He advised quietly. "I talked to Rosalie yesterday and she didn't want to hear any of it. She has her 'freedom of speech' and all that crap. Well, I tore Emmett a new one as well because all he's been doing is complaining right along with his girlfriend. I told him he's not being the same guy I've known since I was kid and the Emmett I've grown up with is not so judgmental of people. It's ever since he and Rosalie started dating a couple years ago that he's begun to act like this. Well, needless to say Rosalie is not pleased with me, but I think I finally got through to Emmett and now he's trying to make Rose see sense."

I snorted. "Like that's going to happen." Jasper reached over patting my arm. "But thank you for standing up for me, Jazz, I really appreciate it."

"Edward did, too." He looked over at his friend, who only picked his head up because his name had been mentioned. Other than that he hadn't been paying attention to the conversation at all."

"What did I do?" He asked, clearly dumbfounded. I was momentarily too wrapped up in his confused, puppy dog face to bother wanting to know what he had said in my defense, but I just shook it off and waited for him to redeem himself.

"What did you say, Edward?" I asked, actually interested.

"About what?" He asked, still oblivious.

"To Emmett or Rosalie."

Edward shrugged. "Not much, I just stood there."

"Thanks," I said the word angrily as I got up leaving the rest of my breakfast untouched and walked out. The one chance I give him to be the good guy and of course he blows it. Why am I surprised? And why does it make me want to cry?

_Because deep down you wished he was the prince you had imagined_, I thought bitterly to myself. _Because you know he's better than you think, and it hurts whenever he proves just how much of a fucking bastard he really is. _

I walked off trying to find a quiet corner where I could lose it privately. I sunk down the wall curling into a ball as I hugged my knees to my chest and started to let the tears fall. I fell apart for all of two minutes before the bell rang overhead and I got up and smoothed out my skirt, collecting myself.

I quickly checked my appearance in a mirror as I passed it, satisfied that I didn't look like a complete wreck and with confidence I walked off to my biology class. I was proud that I was in all honors and advanced classes. I had worked hard to maintain that in my previous high school, and I would keep them here. My dream of Harvard was not going to slip through my fingers.

I took my usual seat in the back by myself. I didn't mind working alone; I always did better that way. And there was an odd number of students in the class, so it really couldn't be helped. I started taking my book and notebook out preparing to be the ever-perfect student when the last person straggled in. I had to suck down the gasp that was forcing its way out of my throat. I must have done something really bad that I can't remember, because Karma was being a bitch right now.

Edward Cullen handed a slip of paper to the teacher and he was directed to the seat beside mine, the only empty seat in the room. Kill me now.

He sat down beside me without a greeting and pulled a notebook from his backpack. As our teacher was going around checking names on the roster, he handed Edward a textbook, and the ass had the balls to look over my shoulder at the page I was opened to.

I pulled my book further away from him so he couldn't see, but his hand shot out covering mine to keep me from moving it. I felt the same shock I had felt yesterday and snapped my eyes up at him. His were full of apology and he pulled his hand back. I was confused, wondering why he looked like that. Was he trying to tell me he was sorry without saying it? Well that shouldn't shock me after what Jasper told me about men being prideful.

They didn't like to admit when they were wrong, they didn't like to admit when they were lost, and they certainly hated to apologize.

I grabbed my pen so I would be ready to take notes and managed not to look at Edward for the remainder of the period. We both got up at the same time when the bell rang and he gestured for me to head out in front of him. I squeezed past him, getting close enough to smell him again. My nose was filled with the same musky fragrance, and something sweet. I almost swooned and had to curse myself internally. What the hell was happening here?

"What's your next class?" He asked me as we walked out.

"Chemistry," I replied without going into detail.

"Me, too. Maybe we'll be in the same class together again." He actually sounded hopeful.

"Honors chemistry." I elaborated, feeling a touch smug.

Edward bent down and whispered in my ear, "Me, too."

We were halfway down the hall and three doors away from our next class when I spun around. "Look, I don't know why you're acting like this, and I don't particularly care. Just stop it, ok. Leave me alone, I don't want to talk to you." I spun on my heel and walked the rest of the distance to my class taking my seat. Of course Edward walked in behind me, we probably had the same fucking schedule.

He sat as far away from me as he could and never glanced back at me once. Finally, I had made some kind of impact and he had gotten the message. I paid rapt attention throughout the lecture, taking very concise notes and copied the homework down for the night before packing up and leaving. Edward was still at his desk, moving sluggishly as he put everything away. I peaked one look at him. He looked hurt, his face completely sullen. Had my words really stung that much? I brushed it off and headed for my next class, hoping and praying he wasn't in it.

And of course as soon as I had myself settled, he wandered in taking a seat as far away from me as he could. It was like that for the rest of the day.


	4. Restart

**A/N: Chapter 4, revised.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. **

**EPOV**

A whole month. One whole fucking month without a word from her. We sit at the same table seven days a week for meals, we sit in all of the same classes together, and only one are we forced to be next to each other. But still, in an entire month she has not spoken a single word to me beyond the pleasantries and what she has to say to me whenever we do labs in our biology class.

She showed up at the Halloween party, and I think she only did so because she didn't want to offend Alice after the work she put in making a decent costume for her. I should have been tipped off to it when Jasper suggested we go hunting for costumes ourselves and I was the idiot who didn't bother to challenge back that Alice was taking care of his for him.

As soon as my friend pointed out the cape to me I should have known what Alice was planning, and therefore trying to do. But I was completely oblivious until the night of the party when Jasper, Alice, and I walked into the dining hall together. I didn't see Bella right away, but then again at the time I hadn't been looking for her either.

Jasper and Alice took off to get drinks and I just walked around feeling like a complete douche in my black pants, black t-shirt, and long cape. Why did I agree to be a vampire again? Oh that's right, because I'm an idiot. I played with my cape as I walked around, sipping on the cup of punch I had grabbed, and praying I didn't see Tanya.

Luckily I didn't that night because I knew she would have come up with some inappropriate comments about what I could bite with my plastic fangs. After two hours or so I was ready to go back to my room, and I turned to walk out the door. But that was when I saw Bella huddled in a corner. She was sitting on a plastic chair with her knees pulled up to her chest as she watched the party go on without her.

She was wearing a red and black skirt and a corset top. The colors matched my cape perfectly and it was then that it dawned on me what Alice had tried to do. And yet to no avail because Bella was being her typical anti-social self. I desperately wanted to walk over to her, take her hand and pull her out onto the dance floor where I could tell her as I held her close just how beautiful she was.

But I remained rooted in my spot. Her eyes watched as people danced past her without seeing her. She just sat there. And I stood there watching, like the coward that I was. Eventually she got up, the skirt of her costume falling to the floor giving me the full effect. It was like Alice had sewn her into her costume. The top and skirt hugged her everywhere perfectly as it flowed elegantly around her body. I could feel the breath whoosh out of my lungs when she lifted her eyes. Her makeup was smoky, highlighting her features in just the right way without being too over the top.

She saw me staring at her and I immediately dropped my gaze. The next time I looked up she was gone. I wanted to go find her and talk to her, but I knew she would be heading back to her room and would inevitably lock the door.

That had been three nights ago, and all I could think about since then were her eyes. Chocolate brown ringed with black and highlighted with red. She had been stunning, absolutely stunning. I made a point of telling Alice the following the morning, and when she quizzed me on whether or not I danced with Bella, let alone talked to her, I simply ignored the question and Alice let it go.

"Are you eventually going to try and talk to her?" Jasper asked me this morning as I played with my eggs without actually eating them.

"I want to, but she's just so closed off."

"So force her hand a little. I mean I know she's mad at you for something, but she won't even tell Ali what it is. Hey, she may not even be mad at you at all. Just keeping you at arm's length or some bullshit like that."

I took a small nibble of my eggs and became suddenly disgusted with the thought of food. I pushed my plate away and grabbed my juice sipping it slowly. I didn't bother looking up when Bella sat down in her usual seat across from me and next to Alice. She started a muted conversation with her and I just sat there with Jasper accusing me with his eyes.

Tanya made a show of getting up, probably to grab my attention, but I paid her none. She stomped off with Rosalie right behind her and both headed for the buffet table. I kept sipping my juice and Bella leaned on the table twirling some hair around her finger.

"Are you eating this morning?" Jasper asked her.

"No, my stomach is still upset from whatever that was I ate last night. It's just not agreeing with me."

"I'll get you some juice." Alice offered.

I too had been wondering what it was they served us last night. I had never seen it before and was unwilling to try it, but when I saw Emmett scarf it down I assumed it wasn't that bad and wound up cleaning my plate.

I looked up finally, but Bella had her head bowed over some book and was paying rapt attention to whatever it was she reading. I could see Tanya and Rosalie walking back with food. I watched Tanya as she eyed Bella as she approached. I didn't like feeling suspicious, but something about the glint in her eye made me.

Before I had a chance to jump out of my seat and stop her, Tanya came up behind Bella and dumped a bowl of cereal over head. Bella gasped loudly, but didn't shout. Jasper was out of his seat in a flash and grabbed Tanya by her bicep as he dragged her outside the dining hall.

Bella remained seated, milk dripping from her hair onto her book and lap. I was up as quickly as Jasper and Alice was running back from the buffet table. Bella shut her eyes as she just breathed and felt around for her napkin on the table. I grabbed it for her and started wiping her eyes.

"You ok?" I asked quietly, although I knew it was a dumb question.

"Yeah, just wet now." She tried to laugh it off, tried to be strong about the situation, but I could see her just barely holding it together. Alice grabbed her napkin as well, and mine, and started to pat off Bella's hair.

"What a foul bitch," Alice muttered as she helped Bella up. The milk that had puddled in her lap splashed onto the floor and I could hear some other students at the next table laughing.

"Shut the fuck up." I hissed at them. I took my blazer off and threw it over Bella's shoulders as I started to walk her out.

"You want me to take her?" Alice offered.

"No, I'll do it. You stay here. Punch Rosalie for me." I tacked on at the end. I said that just because she was laughing in her seat as well, and I knew she had something to do with this.

Bella didn't say anything as we walked out, and of course Jasper was escorting Tanya back in, his hand still around her bicep.

"You know, Tanya, just because she doesn't have the same background or money as you doesn't mean she's worthless." I paused letting that sit for a moment before adding, as I looked down at Bella huddling against my side, "And it doesn't mean you can treat her like that either."

Jasper gave me a nod and a smile as he walked Tanya back to our table. I could tell he had been proud of what I just said. I pulled Bella a little closer to me and walked her the rest of the way out. She was starting to shiver next to me, but I had no idea where to take her at this point.

As soon as we were out the doors I could hear her sniffling loudly. I looked down to her and saw the tears running down her cheeks. She was in no shape to be going to class right now.

"I'm going to walk you down to the nurse, she can get you dried off and get you a new uniform, ok?"

Bella nodded, pulling my blazer around her a little tighter. I rubbed her arm through it hoping that did something to warm her. When we arrived at the nurse's office I had the pleasure of explaining Bella's current condition and why she had milk and Cheerios all over her.

I picked Bella up and sat her on the one exam bed. The nurse came back with towels and said she would be right back with a fresh uniform for Bella. I was to dry her off in the meantime.

I started with her hair, picking the Cheerios out carefully and patting her hair. She was going to have to wash it soon. She removed her blazer laying it next to her, remaining silent as I ran the towel down her arms. I pulled her shoes and socks off leaving them to the side and wiped the milk off her legs.

"Thank you,"

She said it so quietly I almost didn't hear her. I looked up at her; eyeliner was running down her face and mixing with tears. Her eyes were glassy as more moisture threatened to fall.

"You're welcome, it's no big deal." I responded as I placed the towel down.

"No, I mean for what you said to Tanya. You…you didn't have to stand up for me, Edward. But I appreciate it." She chewed on her lower lip for a moment as she contemplated over her next statement.

"I guess I was wrong about you. I assumed things I shouldn't have. I…I'm sorry, Edward." She bowed her head in shame, running her hands under her eyes to clear up her makeup.

To say that I was floored by her admission was an understatement. But I just smiled at her and tucked a piece of damp hair behind her ear. I placed my hand under her chin and lifted her face to mine so she was looking me in the eyes.

"I'm always trying to tell Emmett not to assume things. I tell him when he does that he-"

"Makes an ass of you and me." Bella finished for me with a small laugh.

"Yeah," I laughed back. "You gonna be ok? I can ask the nurse to get you a pass to skip your first two classes so you can go back to your room and take a shower."

"Could you," She asked, her voice hopeful at the thought. "I don't want to walk around smelling like milk."

"Yeah, I'll ask her when she gets back." I picked the towel up and wiped her face off a little more and pushed her hair out of her eyes so milk wouldn't drip into them. "Are you ok, though?" I asked. It hadn't gone unnoticed by me that she didn't answer when I asked her a minute ago.

"I'm fine, just cold and wet." Bella smiled through it, but I could see her armor faltering below the surface. Thankfully the nurse returned with a clean uniform for Bella and I asked about the pass. The bell had already rung maybe fifteen minutes ago, so she wrote me one as well and I walked Bella back to her room to make sure she was ok before heading to biology.

"I'll take notes for you in bio and chemistry." I offered as we approached her door.

Bella stopped at it, her hand pausing as she pushed her key into the lock, and she looked back to me surprised by my offer. "Thank you, that's very thoughtful, Edward."

"Yup," I rocked on the balls of my feet for a moment feeling awkward. I had never felt like being so generous to someone I hardly knew, but I suppose Bella really wasn't that much of a stranger to me.

"I'm gonna go get in the shower now, I'll see you in a bit. Thank you again, Edward." She turned the key and pushed her door open stepping one foot into it.

"Any time, Bella. I'm not a bad guy, you know."

She smiled gently and tucked some hair behind her ear. "I know that now. I'm sorry for the way I've treated you."

"Don't worry about it, we can start over fresh, how would that be?"

"I'd like that." Bella smiled at me again, a real smile this time and I couldn't help reaching out to cup the side of her face and stroke my thumb across her cheekbone.

I pulled back letting the awkward silence sit for a moment before turning to go. "See you in a bit."

"See you," Bella started to shut her door and I headed down the hall.

"Bella," I called walking back to her door. It cracked open and she stuck her head out. "Would you like me to save you a seat, next to mine? In calculus I mean." I asked tentatively, being sure to elaborate at the end.

Bella smiled again, "Sure, please."

~*~*~IT~*~*~

I sat in calculus later that morning waiting anxiously for Bella to show up. I had my backpack in the seat next to me holding it for her. Jasper walked in taking his seat on my other side. He didn't mention my backpack, but I saw his eyes flicker to it. He slapped me a high five in greeting and dropped into his seat.

"You really surprised me at breakfast this morning. I'm sure Bella really appreciated that. I wasn't too keen on letting you say anything to Tanya, I was afraid you might beat the shit out of her."

I laughed to myself. The idea had crossed my mind, but I wasn't going to do something like that in front of Bella. No matter how badly I wanted to, I wouldn't resort to violence with her present.

"Yeah she did," I confirmed on Jasper's comment. "I took her to the nurse and got her a pass to miss her first two classes so she could clean up and change. She should be here soon, I hope. It wouldn't surprise me though if she decided to stay in her room. I know she's still in a fragile state right now."

"She's much better than she was when she first arrived here. I think her friendship with Alice has really been helping her."

I looked up when the bell rang and the last few students trickled in. Still no Bella. Maybe she had decided to just stay in her room after all. I wouldn't hold it against her to want to be alone right now.

But then she rushed through the door, her cheeks a little rosy from having obviously run from her room to get here on time. My mouth nearly dropped open when I saw her. She had done more than just change into the fresh uniform. Jasper's comment about her friendship with Alice being beneficial was certainly true right now. I knew the pixie liked to mess around with Bella's hair in the morning, but this…

It was down, cascading around her shoulders with light curls running through it. I noticed as she walked to her seat and the sun caught it, it shined red in some places. My hand reached for my backpack of its own accord and moved it for her as she sat down next to me with a soft smile. Alice had put a little makeup on her as well. It was light and tasteful, highlighting her natural features.

"You look amazing," the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

Bella blushed deep crimson beside me and bowed her head in embarrassment for a moment before lifting it up and smiling at me again. "Thanks," she muttered, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. It must have been a nervous habit, like when she chewed on her bottom lip. It was sweet and endearing, I could watch her do it all day.

I had a hard time concentrating all class, too enthralled with watching Bella out of the corner of my eye. She moved fluidly as she took her notes, asking appropriate questions when she didn't understand something. I was going to have to copy her notes, I just couldn't pay attention to the teacher. I was too busy being entranced.

Of course as we were walking to our next class Bella had to call me out on it, asking me if I took any notes because my pencil never moved. "Oh yeah, I took a ton of notes." I lied.

Bella laughed beside me. "Yeah, sure you did. Were you paying more attention to me or the lecture on derivatives?"

I stared blankly at her. "What?"

"Exactly my point."

I scoffed at her as we walked into English and took seats next to each other. Alice waved from two rows away, winking at Bella. I was going to have to compliment her good work later on. Even if I had no clue how she had managed to sneak over to Bella's room to do it in the middle of classes.

After English was French for the three of us as well, and we sat together like Bella, Jasper and I had done in calculus. Except this time Alice took the seat in the middle preventing me from sitting beside Bella. I became jealous for a moment, but shook it off. I knew I wasn't going to be able to always sit next to her, but at least I had biology where we weren't separated by different desks.

Jasper was waiting outside the classroom for us once the bell rang, his hand immediately slipping into Alice's. Bella and I walked alongside each other, both of us watching Jasper and Alice's clasped hands as they swung lightly between them. I chanced a glance over at Bella as we walked to lunch, her eyes meeting mine. I was immediately overcome with the desire to grab her hand and swing it lightly between us just as Alice and Jazz were doing.

Her eyes fell back to said couple and then she looked back up at me. Her expression was a combination of forlorn and curiosity. Like she was realizing just how lonely she was, but at the same time yearning for what Alice and Jasper shared between them. To experience what it felt like to be truly loved by someone else with no judgments.

And I wanted to be the one to show her.

I was floored by the sudden intensity of my feelings toward her, desperately digging within myself to attempt and discover where they had manifested. I looked down to where Bella's hand lay against her thigh as she walked. Her eyes dropped to it as well and then shot back up to mine. She caught me. And I knew from how dilated her pupils were becoming that she knew exactly what I had been thinking as I stared at her lonely and lovely hand.

I hadn't yet had the chance to find out what Jasper had said to Tanya this morning, and I was hoping it was something along the lines of telling her to find a new table, or even simply telling her to fuck off and shove it would have sufficed.

I pulled the seat out next to mine for Bella before I realized what I was doing, and was shocked when she actually sat down in it, smiling up at me in thanks as she set her tote bag down beside her. Alice smirked knowingly at me from across the table.

"Did you see what they had out, I didn't even notice?" Bella asked as I set my backpack down.

"I don't think it's any different than yesterday." I craned my neck to get a view, and shrugged. "What do you want, I'll get it for you."

"No, it's ok." Bella got up from her seat, her foot catching the leg of the chair and she tripped. I grabbed her arm and around her waist so she wouldn't fall. Down the table I could hear snickers, and snapped my head around to see Tanya laughing behind her hand. I narrowed my eyes at her, but she didn't stop.

I helped Bella get steady on her feet, her cheeks flaming red, and she took off at a quick pace for the buffet table. I followed, glancing over my shoulder to make sure Tanya had not gotten up and was not planning on ambushing her from behind again.

"Just ignore her," I whispered to Bella as we got on line at the table. I handed her a plate.

"Thanks. I'm trying to, but Alice had a point this morning. She is a foul bitch."

I tried to hide a laugh behind my hand, following Bella up the line and grabbing food as I went. I settled on some pasta salad, a piece of chicken and a roll. Bella got a veggie burger and sweet potato fries.

"What do you want to drink?" She asked me since she had reached them first.

"Soda I guess," I said simply. "I'll take your plate." I reached for it balancing it carefully as Bella picked up two sodas and we walked back to the table together. I told her a joke I had overhead between two of our classmates in biology this morning and I had her laughing louder than I had ever heard her before.

The sound warmed my heart and I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face as I watched her try and catch her breath. I pulled her chair out for her again and set her plate down in front of her before taking my own seat. Alice and Jasper had gotten up in our absence and I could see them across the hall waiting on line.

"So we have to do a project in biology together." I said casually, playing with my pasta salad.

"What kind of project?" Bella asked, popping a fry in her mouth.

"We have to research a current event in science, anything. Try and replicate the experiment leading to the discovery, in a much simpler way of course, and then write a full report on it."

The fry Bella was about to eat fell from her hand onto her plate. "You're shitting me?" She asked incredulously.

"Unfortunately no," I tore a bit off my roll and ate it. "I wish I was shitting you." I added, my mouth full.

"So, any ideas?" Bella asked a couple minutes later after she had eaten some of her lunch.

"Not one." I shoved a forkful of my salad in my mouth. "You?"

"I'll need to do the necessary research." Bella smirked at me.

"What's so funny?" Alice asked as she suddenly appeared from nowhere, dropping into her seat across from us.

"Nothing at all, actually. A pain in the ass science report is nothing to laugh about." Bella deadpanned, sitting back in her seat and crossing her arms over her chest.

"We have one of those going on in my physics class." Jasper commented as she sat down at the head of the table. "We get to throw eggs at a bed sheet and then explain why they don't break." Jasper shrugged and started to dig into to his spaghetti.

After lunch Bella and split up for the only class time we didn't share together. She headed off to art while I went the opposite route to the music room. I always looked forward to this portion of my day. Playing the piano had always been an outlet of sorts for me, a way for me to express whatever heightened emotion I happen to be feeling.

There were six students in class, myself included. We each had time at the piano to play and perfect whatever piece we were currently working on. I had been trying to finish my original piece that I had started writing over the summer. It was almost done. I was shocked when my teacher allowed me to work on it instead of something preselected. Add that to the fact that he also let me work on the actual composition during my practice and you'll understand why I look forward so much to this class in the afternoon.

After music there were only two more classes that Bella and I shared; history and physical activity class, a.k.a gym. Bella's least favorite class. We were working on tennis right now, and as I walked into the gym in my school sweatpants and t-shirt I saw Bella eyeing the racket rack skeptically. Well, more like fearfully.

I walked over and sat down next to her as we waited for the coach to show up and start explaining tennis to us. Bella fidgeted nervously beside me throughout the entire lecture. We were then asked to get up, partner off and get rackets. Bella immediately clung to my side and professed that she should not be armed with such a "weapon", and she trusted me to keep her safe, especially from herself.

I had the good sense not to laugh at her, but that didn't keep me from trying to hide a smile. Bella punched my shoulder and I was glad she didn't have a racket in her hand at the moment in time. It could have been much worse.

With the ten minutes remaining in the class we practiced serving the ball over the net to each other. I had watched my mother play quite a bit when I was growing up, so I knew some basics. But Bella was all over the place. She didn't hit the ball once. In fact she hit herself with the racket more than the ball with it.

Since gym was the last class of the day, we decided afterwards getting changed back into our uniforms to take a walk outside before it got too cold. It was November now, and the sun was only going to be out until late afternoon. As we walked the grounds together Bella told me about where she used to live in Washington, opening up about her parents, their occupations, and her childhood.

I just let her talk, listening to the sound of her voice as it carried on the breeze. Whenever she became animated about a particular event she started talking with exaggerated hand gestures. She had a wonderful sense of humor laughing at least once every minute.

We headed into dinner together, not even realizing that we had been walking outside for nearly three hours. We had just been lost in our own little world that we had practically forgotten where we were.

Or at least I had.

I did everything the same at dinner as I had done at lunch. I pulled Bella's chair out for her and pushed it in when she sat down. I let her do a lot of the talking during our conversation with Alice and Jasper. Emmett even piped up every now and then with a crude joke, but it was nice to have him involved. He laughed at Bella's story about when she was a child and a friend of hers who was younger, but much, much taller had picked her up and dumped her in a river.

Bella hadn't thought it was particularly funny, but she laughed right along with Emmett. I couldn't believe that just a few days ago she wasn't even speaking to me and now it was like we had known each other our entire lives.

I walked her to her room after dinner, she and Alice continuing the conversation from dinner about Thanksgiving. I knew Alice was intent on inviting her home. I thought it would be a good thing for Bella.

Bella stopped at her door and turned to me with a soft smile on her face. "Thank you for everything you've done today, Edward. I never expected you to be such a gentleman. I really am sorry I assumed so much."

"It's in the past now. Let's just move on from it. We're friends now, right?"

"Right," her smile touched her eyes and she turned back to her door to unlock it and cracked it open. "I'm going to go shower, again, and head to bed. I'm exhausted. I enjoyed getting to know the real Edward today."

"I'm glad," I reached out and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Thank you for letting me see the real you as well, Bella. I like it."

Bella leaned up on her toes and pressed a kiss to my cheek. "Good night, Edward." She slipped into her room and shut the door, leaving me standing there, dumbfounded.

She just kissed me.


	5. Baiting the Hook

**A/N: Chapter 5, revised. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**BPOV**

After Tanya had spilled the bowl of cereal on me this morning Edward had been the one not only to stick up for me, saying the words I had said to him on that first day we met, but then he also stayed with me until he had to go to class. He took the time to make sure I was all right before he left me on my own.

The gesture and the earnestness in his voice as he promised to take notes for me was shocking and I knew I had to reconsider everything I had ever thought about him. After also promising to save me a seat in calculus, I told him goodbye and headed into my room to take a hot shower and wash the smell of milk from my hair.

I didn't question it when Alice showed up at my door just as I was about to leave for class and insisted on doing my hair for me. She curled it loosely leaving it down so it cascaded over my shoulders. She then did my makeup, applying just a touch more than she normally would but without going over the top.

"I figured you could use a little pick-me up after what Tanya did. I could tell that it hit your self-confidence hard." She turned my chair toward the mirror on my wall. "What do you think?"

I reached up to pet my hair and see if it was soft as it looked. My eyes were slightly smoky and flirty, but not slutty. "You really do amazing work, Alice. You know that."

"If you know you look hot you're going to feel so much better about yourself. That and I just really love playing with your hair." She giggled behind me.

I got up and gave her a hug thanking her for being such a good friend to me. I got my bag ready for class while she packed up the things of mine she had used. "I have a few instructions for you, however, for today."

"Instructions?" I asked tentatively.

"For Edward," Alice glanced over her shoulder at me, her face half falling when she saw the exasperated expression I was giving her. "Oh come on, Bella. He likes you, I know it and you know it. And I _know_ you like him, no matter how hard you try to hide it."

I felt a faint blush creep into my cheeks and I bowed my head to hide it. "I do I guess...a little."

"More than just a little, Bella. I've seen the way you two look at each other. It's more than obvious. But I don't want to rush things between the two of you. He's never had a serious girlfriend before, and I know you're scared of letting others in." Alice walked over to me slowly and took my shoulders in her hands. Her smile was gentle, her touch soft. "But you let Jazz and I in relatively quickly."

"You're my friends. There's a big difference between letting your friends in and letting someone you have feelings for in."

"So you admit you have feelings for him, then?"

I shrugged. "I…I don't know anymore, Alice." I pulled myself from her hold and sat down on the edge of my bed. "I'm so confused about everything. I mean, I know he's a nice guy and everything, he proved that this morning. I even told him I was sorry for assuming so much about him without getting to know him first. You should have seen the look on his face, too."

Alice sat down beside me wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "I'll bet it was priceless. But Edward has always had that kind of attitude directed at him. People see him act as if nothing matters and because of the family he comes from people just assume that he's being an arrogant bastard. But he's really not."

"I know that now."

"He's a really great person, you just have to get to know him. He doesn't let the status of his family get to his head. His parents didn't raise him to behave that way. Neither did mine, nor did Jasper's. Rosalie and Tanya are a different story, though. Their families are obsessed with status. God forbid they don't get invited to every soirée in town."

"What about Emmett?"

"Emmett's parents invested wisely when he was younger and they slowly climbed their way up the social ladder in recent years. Rosalie's parents don't exactly approve of him, but she loves him very much and she wants no one else. He's the only guy to ever challenge her authority and I think that's what attracts her to him the most. She can relinquish a little power to him. I told you she comes off as a domineering bitch, but deep down she just wants someone who understands her and to be there with her."

"I can understand that."

Alice took my hand and pulled me off my bed. We grabbed our tote bags and headed out. "So what is it exactly you want me to do today concerning Edward?" I asked as we walked down the hall toward the academic wing.

"You have to do everything I tell you. Do you promise?"

I nodded. "Ok, I want you to act a little distant, make him curious. I know you two have a lot of classes together so sit next to him in all of them except French. I'm going to sit between you two, it'll make him a little jealous." Alice smirked at me.

I was confused. "Why would it make him jealous?"

"You saw yourself in the mirror, Bella. He's going to want to sit next to you all day. If I take that seat and you pretend not to notice it'll drive him crazy. Trust me, I know how he thinks."

The bell rung loudly and we now had three minutes to get to our classes. "After classes today try and hang out a little. And then tonight if he walks you to your door kiss him on the cheek. If he doesn't, kiss him on the cheek anyway." Alice rushed out as we half jogged to our destinations.

I stopped dead in my tracks. She wanted me to kiss him?

"I don't know if I can do that, Alice." I whispered.

"Of course you can, it's just a kiss on the cheek. Open up to him a little. Let him know you. Share some things with him. Prove to him you're not the closed-off person that you try to be." She hugged me firmly and then dashed off down the hall. The bell rung again overhead and now I had to sprint.

I arrived at the door for my calculus class with just moments to spare before our teacher shut it and I would be locked outside. I watched as Edward's eyes followed me to the seat he had saved next to him. I offered him a smile in thanks as I sat down. His jaw had gone slightly slack making his mouth hang open just a bit. Jasper was snickering to himself quietly two seats down from me. He reached over and punched Edward in the arm.

His mouth snapped shut and he finally looked away from me. I'll admit the attention made me feel just a tiny bit smug, and now I understood what Alice had meant when she told me I would feel better if I knew how I looked. I guess I really was hot today.

Lunch was even more of a shocker for me. Edward was the perfect gentleman; pulling my chair out for me and carrying my plate back to the table. I was truly impressed. The only damper was when he told me about the project we had in biology now. What made it worse was that it was due right before Thanksgiving break.

The moment he mentioned the due date I felt a fresh wave of loneliness and pain wash over me and I needed to take a moment to collect myself before he noticed. I continued right on with our conversation, Edward oblivious to my brief internal meltdown.

I was fairly disappointed when lunch was over because it meant we had to separate for the one class time we didn't share. He wandered off toward the music room, his fingers already twitching to get at the keys of that piano. I had only recently confirmed that he played the instrument.

I had been wandering the halls for a bit the other night just before it was "lights out" for the evening and had heard the most beautiful music being played. The melody lead me to the music room and imagine my shock when I saw it was Edward sitting at the bench, his fingers ghosting over the keys without even looking at them. A small journal lay open on top of the piano in front of him.

He paused for a moment in his playing and started jotting down something in the journal, and then went right back to playing. His eyes were distant as he focused on the music, seeing something so far off. Perhaps he was too caught up in the melody himself. It almost sounded, as he pressed different keys here and there, like he was working out something in his head.

I also learned that night, as I hid in the shadows and watched Edward play, that he composed his own music as well. He was certainly much more gifted than my mother had been, but it brought me so much peace from watching him play. I was temporarily transported back to my childhood when I would sit next to my mother on the bench and just listen and watch as her fingers played across the black and ivory keys.

I eventually left him to his thoughts, knowing I had intruded on his privacy for far too long at that point, and I could hear one of the overnight attendees announcing that it was time to shut our lights off for the evening. I don't think Edward heard him; he was just too lost in his own beautiful music to care.

I replayed the melody over and over in my head throughout my art class, surprising myself with the intensity that I felt when I longed for the class to end so I could get to history class and sit next to Edward again. I actually missed his company.

And that in itself knocked the wind out of me.

I focused my mind instead on the blank sketch paper in front of me as I worked out a picture inside my head that I would later fill in with pastels. I had a personal obsession with pastels that had started at a young age when my father bought me my first set. He had explained to my mother that they would be better than crayons because they would last longer and I was past the age where I would peel off the paper wrapping and I knew better than to eat them.

My mother showed me the fun little trick of scribbling all over a white piece of paper with different colors and then coloring over them in black. She then took a paper clip, unfolded it and started scratching designs into the black. The rainbow of colors we had scribbled underneath came through in beautiful swirls and spirals.

That was how I made their anniversary card that year for them. It stayed up on the mantle up until the day I moved out just a few months ago. After that I taped it to the inside cover of one of my photo albums.

The picture I was working on now was of a forest, much like the one that surrounded the property of my parents' house. I was going to be using a lot of browns and deep, deep greens when I colored in the trees. I was trying to recreate the almost rainforest feel of the environment I had grown up in. I shut my eyes trying to picture the way the trunks of fallen trees looked, the patterns that the moss formed as it grew over the rotting wood. I pictured the ferns and the tall spruces.

"That's beautiful,"

I nearly jumped up out of my seat when I heard Edward's voice behind me. I looked around noticing that everyone was packing up. I never even heard the bell ring. I looked up at him with a small smile.

"Thanks…it's home."

He sat down next to me taking the pencil from my hand and started to guide it across the top of the page. I watched the movement of his wrist as he drew in very light lines above and interspersed at the tops of the trees. When he finished I recognized that he had just drawn in the horizon of the sky for me. It gave my picture much more depth, making everything appear as if you were standing right there in the forest.

"Thank you," I whispered quietly.

"You're welcome. Come on, time to go learn about the past." He picked up my tote and slung it over his shoulder as we walked out. I dropped off my sketchpad in my cubbyhole laying my pencil on top of it.

History was one of the classes that I usually never had any problems paying attention in, but today I just couldn't. Typically all of the talk about the ancient worlds and the different artifacts that we were still digging up fascinated me. Today I was more entranced with watching Edward as his hand skimmed across his notebook, the delicate movement of his fingers as he took his notes. One peek over his shoulder showed me his beautiful, flawless script.

I looked down to my own chicken scratch. No wonder he always insisted on doing the writing during our biology labs. I had to smile because even I'll admit that if I was a teacher I wouldn't want to have to decipher my handwriting.

"I forgot to give these to you earlier." Edward handed me a thick packet of notes and I recognized them as ones for biology and chemistry.

"Oh, thank you." I stuffed inside my bag as we made our way to the gym. "I'm just going to warn you, and I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm sort of cursed when it comes to team sports."

Edward chuckled lightly. "I think 'dangerous' is a better term here." I knew he was just poking fun at me, and I punched him in the shoulder for it.

"Jerk," I muttered under my breath, even though I was smiling.

I was thankful that we only had to play the current torture, tennis, for ten minutes at the end of the period. I was even more thankful that gym was the last class of the day. I quickly changed back into my uniform and met Edward outside the girls' locker room. He suggested that we drop our bags off in our rooms and then go for a walk while the weather was still nice.

As we traversed the grounds together reminiscing on different stories from our childhoods, I learned that Edward and I had so much more in common than I thought. Where I had thought he was just this prissy, stuck-up brat; he was actually just as laid back and casual as I was. I learned that we both loved the same music, and he promised to take me to a performance should one come up nearby in the future.

He repeated the same gestures and politeness at dinner that he had at lunch and I found myself truly enjoying his company. Alice grinned knowingly at me from across the table and winked before turning her attention to Jasper as he asked her a question.

I remembered then what she had said about giving Edward a kiss on the cheek. I felt my stomach turn, but not in nervousness. I was actually excited about getting the chance to kiss him. God knows I was entranced with his mouth, and I longed to know how he tasted.

But when the moment came I stood up on my tiptoes and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek before telling him goodnight. I let my bedroom door shut behind me quietly pressing my back to it once I heard the catch click. A small smile started to form on my lips as my mind processed what I had just done. I had really just kissed Edward Cullen, albeit on the cheek, but still I had plucked up the courage to do it.

And I thought I was a coward. The giddy smile never left my lips as I finished some homework for the night and then took a long hot shower. I slept peacefully again, and this time I dreamt of Edward Cullen.

~*~*~IT~*~*~

Over the next couple weeks Edward and I continued to hang out together after classes, sometimes going for a walk when the weather permitted, but we mostly either hung out in the library or in the music room.

We worked on our project quite a bit trying to get it done early so we wouldn't have to worry about rushing it right before Thanksgiving, since in that same short week we both had three exams to take. And trying to finish a project on top of that was just asking for trouble.

Two weeks after "the breakfast incident" as Jasper was now calling Tanya's inappropriate display, we were sitting in my room attempting to put the finishing touches on our project. We had already performed our replica experiment and now all we had to do was write up the report.

Edward hadn't said anything about the kiss I had given him, and neither had I. I hadn't kissed him again since that night. Not because I was nervous, but like I said, he hadn't said anything about it…and I was afraid it may have turned him off.

He had been exceptionally quiet all day today, which wasn't like him at all. He usually started and contributed the most in any conversation. Today, however, he had seemed so zoned out, concentrating on other things instead of the plans his friends were discussing for Thanksgiving.

Alice asked me to join her family and I agreed, since I knew no one else would be asking me, and I really didn't want to be alone for the holidays here. I held out the tiniest hope that Edward would ask me, but he never brought it up.

So here we sit in my room a few hours later going over our works cited for the report. Edward sat on my bed as he rattled off the information for the books and websites we had referenced while I typed them up properly in MLA format.

We were about halfway done when I had to call it quits for the night because my eyes felt like they were on fire from staring at my laptop for so long. I saved the document and closed the lid on my computer before spinning around in my chair to face my bed.

Edward was just getting up and stretching. I tried not to stare at the little bit of skin exposed as he stretched his arms over his head and his t-shirt rode up a little. He yawned as he bent over the bed and gathered up his books. I did my best to keep my eyes on the far wall and not on his ass in his jeans.

But I should enjoy it while it lasts since tomorrow is Monday and we're back in uniforms for two and a half days before break starts.

"So, want to get together again tomorrow night to finish this real quick, or maybe the library if you don't want to do it here?" He asked as he made a neat pile of his books.

My eyes quickly snapped up to his hoping he hadn't caught me ogling him, because that's exactly what I had been doing. "Yeah that sounds fine. The sooner we can get this done the better."

"I agree," Edward yawned again as he walked over to me. He set his books down on the desk and turned my chair placing his hands on my shoulders. "Do you mind?" He asked quietly.

"No," I whispered, shocked by the gesture, but not entirely against it.

"I noticed you've been looking tense a lot lately. I know why." He rubbed my shoulders softly, his hands moving up to my neck where his thumbs would press in and rub working out the obvious knots here and there.

"Know why what?" I asked a minute later after having been completely oblivious to his previous statement for the said amount of time.

"Why you've been so tense the past few days. I don't mean to bring up unpleasant emotions for you, but I know this is going to be your first holiday witho…on your own."

He hesitated before finishing, ending with words that didn't cut quite as deep as his first choice would have, had he completed the sentence. I sucked in a sharp breath nodding slowly. Edward let my shoulders go and turned my chair so I was facing him. He bent over, grasping the arms of the chair so his eyes were level with mine.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I didn't mean to hurt you."

I let out a breath, my eyes gazing down at the floor, "It's ok," I spoke to the carpet. A moment later I felt Edward's finger tucked under my chin raising it so I was looking into his emerald green eyes. They were so apologetic that I saw the pain in them that he felt for making me hurt.

"Edward, really it's ok…" I was silenced as his mouth covered mine in a very light, very chaste kiss. He pulled back, a small, sheepish smile turning his lips up.

"I'm sorry…I…I shouldn't have done that."

"It's all right," I whispered. Edward stood up straight and took a couple steps back from my chair. I got up following him as he started to pace a short line across my bedroom. "Edward, what's wrong?" I took his arm and sat him down on the edge of my bed next to me.

He reached up fisting his hands into his hair pulling at it making it an even crazier mess than it already was. "All I've been thinking about for the past two weeks is that kiss you gave me that night. And All I've wanted since then was to kiss you back. I've been dying to know how your lips feel, how you taste. Shit," He cursed and stood up starting to pace all over again.

He turned to me after a minute holding his hands out, "I'm sorry, I said too much. I shouldn't have told you those things. I don't want you to think…I don't want you to think that I'm only after one thing with you."

I shook my head responding softly, "I don't, Edward."

Suddenly my bedroom door swung open and Alice stood on the other side looking far too excited about something. She bounced in completely oblivious to the current atmosphere between Edward and I and sat down beside me.

"So my parents just called me and told me they invited your family to have dinner with us this year." She announced happily to Edward. As if on cue Edward's cell phone went off in his pocket. He walked over to my bathroom to answer it while Alice started to spill details to me.

"So, the plan is, since his parents already said yes, that he, you, and Jasper are all going to stay at my house for the holiday. His parents will come by for dinner and then we're all going out the following morning for some fun shopping." Alice clapped her hands excitedly.

I groaned and threw myself backward on my bed covering my face with a pillow. God I hated shopping.

"So that was my mother," Edward announced walking back over to us. "She just gave me all the details. Seems like I don't really have much of choice…" He tried to sound uninterested, and I lifted the pillow from my face to look at him. I knew he felt exactly the opposite when I saw the smile tugging at his lips. He eyes lifted to mine discreetly and I knew exactly what he was thinking.

He was going to have me pretty much all to himself for the holiday since we both knew that Alice and Jasper were going to be glued together. I wasn't afraid of the twinkle in his eye, but it got me thinking…_What else was going on in that beautiful head of his? _


	6. Thanksgiving

**A/N: Chapter 6, revised. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. **

**EPOV**

The moment Alice mentioned that we would all be spending the holiday together, and in the same house no less, I was ecstatic. My mind began formulating different things that Bella and I could do together. I even let myself consider a few ways to get her alone.

I wanted to try and kiss her again, and this time really mean it.

Alice prattling on about something having to do with the holiday arrangements and then shopping the day after interrupted me from my daydreams. "Is that ok with you, Edward?" She looked up at me.

I shook my head trying to rid if of the cobwebs that had formed. "Yeah, whatever is cool. I don't care. I'm just glad I get to spend the holiday with friends." I smiled broadly at Bella and was pleasantly surprised when she genuinely smiled back.

Alice said her goodbyes shortly after and bounced out of the room. Bella yawned for the millionth time this evening and started to lie down on her bed, grabbing her stuffed Saint Bernard and cuddling with it.

"Want some sleep?" I asked, her eyelids already drooping.

Bella nodded into her pillow. I knew she was passing out, but she was still clothed. I didn't know whether to at least take her button down off, but decided against it. I made sure the alarm was set on her nightstand and I got her under the blanket without disturbing her too much. I leaned down to whisper goodnight to her and that I would see her in the morning and she leaned her head up at the same time, her lips coming into contact with my cheek.

"Goodnight, Edward…" she slurred in her half asleep state.

"Goodnight, Bella."

She snuggled back against her pillow with a soft sigh and I had an overwhelming urge to lean down and kiss the top of her head. Instead I waited a minute or two until her breathing evened out before leaving her room.

Half way back to my own I realized I had left my bag and everything I needed for classes tomorrow on her floor. I hope she saw it in the morning, because I wasn't going back and waking her up to get it. She had looked far too peaceful for me to go back there and disrupt her sleep.

I heard a loud laugh coming from Emmett's room as I approached my own and stuck my head in to see what was going on. Jasper and Emmett were watching something on his laptop, Emmett obviously finding it exceedingly funny.

"What is so entertaining?" I asked.

"Just some shit Jasper found on Youtube." Emmett spun around in his chair. "Where have you been? I thought we were gonna play pool tonight in the lounge?"

I smacked my hand to my forehead and walked into the room. "Oh shit, that was tonight. I'm sorry, I really had to get this project done with Bella for biology. Can we play tomorrow night, oh wait, scratch that. We still have to finish the bibliography. But it shouldn't take too long."

"Yeah, we can play tomorrow night instead. Actually, bring Bella, Alice wants to play so we can do guys on girls." Emmett broke out in another round of raucous laughter when we realized what he had just said. "I totally didn't mean it that way, but I don't think Rosie would be opposed to doing it on the pool table."

Jasper mocked a vomit gag and then punched Emmett on the shoulder. "We didn't need to know about that." I said waving my hand in a dismissal as I started to walk out.

"Yeah, whatever." Emmett shrugged. He turned back to his computer and started typing away. Jasper said goodnight and walked out with me.

"So, did Alice let you know the plans for Thanksgiving?" He asked as we walked down the hall to our rooms.

"Yeah, I'm excited. I actually wanted to spend the holiday with my friends anyway, and it makes it easier since my parents are coming over for dinner, so I will still get to see them, too."

"How's Bella?"

I was silent as I stopped at my door, thinking over the evening. She had been light, laughing a little. But when she had smiled only a short time earlier I knew then that she was starting to finally heal and come out of her shell. But I knew Jasper was asking more about our relationship. He saw Bella everyday like I did, he knew how she was emotionally as well as I did.

"I kissed her," I said quietly.

Jasper's mouth hung open and he gawked at me for a moment before I reached out and punched him in case someone walked by. "Did she kiss you back?"

"Not really, I pulled back too quickly."

"Why?" Jasper hissed at me. "You should have given her the chance to kiss you back!"

"Will you shut the fuck up?" I whispered loudly. I glanced around the hallway shoving my hands into my pockets. "I didn't mean to kiss her, it just happened."

"Was she pissed off?"

"No…um…I sort of tucked her in to bed before I left and she kissed my cheek again." I smiled to myself remembering the feel of her soft lips on my skin.

"That was sweet of you, I didn't know you were turning into such a softie."

I punched Jasper in the gut this time and yanked my door open. He reached out and grabbed it before I could slam it shut behind me. "Chill, Edward." He laughed at me. "It's obvious you really care about her, and I have to admit that's new for you. I've never seen you this worked up over a girl before. I just want to tell you that it's a good change for you."

I let out a heavy breath and leaned against the doorframe. "Thanks, I appreciate that. I know in earlier years I was a real asshole."

"I wouldn't go as far to say asshole. Arrogant bastard, yes, but asshole…no."

I laughed and crossed my arms over my chest. Maybe Bella was the catalyst in my life that was finally making me grow up and think about someone other than myself. I was never a bad person, but I was always concerned with myself in my earlier teenage years.

Jasper reached out taking my shoulder. "She's good for you, man. Don't fuck up."

"Thanks," I said sarcastically. I looked down at the floor for a moment my mind turning over a few things: Bella, our kiss, the upcoming holiday. It suddenly came crashing down on me and I felt my stress level rise significantly. I didn't want to fuck up. We were just starting over, again, and I wanted to be her friend…but I knew at the same time I wanted more. Or I wouldn't have kissed her and then thought of ways to kiss her again over the four-day weekend.

I didn't want to lose Bella as a friend, but I knew I wanted her as a girlfriend as well. She was unlike any other girl I had known. She could hold an intelligent conversation and offer valid opinions and points of discussion. She was easy to talk to and even easier to hang out with. The more we did together, the more I felt like I had known her forever, and that we were meant for each other.

I said goodnight to Jasper, feigning exhaustion and locked my bedroom door once I was on the other side of it. Jasper was still talking nonsense out in the hall. I shouted through the door for him to piss off and let me sleep, but he was still there. I threw the door open in aggravation.

"Why the hell won't you leave?" I snapped at him.

"Because you're still not listening to me."

"Jasper," I sighed heavily and ran my hand down my face in frustration. "Can we do this tomorrow, please. I really don't want to talk about it anymore tonight. You've already caused me enough confusion. I would like to be able to sleep tonight, if that's all right, and not toss and turn for hours while my brain tries to process the bullshit you've fed me."

"Then my job is done," He smiled at me and turned on his heel to head back toward his room. I shook my head at him as he retreated. He was becoming just as cryptic and scary as Alice. Sometimes I had to wonder if the two of them were working together to set Bella and me up.

The following evening after Bella and I had finished our project, printed it and got it ready to hand in I brought up the pool game that Emmett was forcing me to participate in.

"Emmett thought it would be cool if we play guys versus girls."

"Is Rosalie going to be there?" Bella asked from her bathroom. She was changing into something a little more comfortable now that it was later in the evening and we didn't have to wear our uniforms anymore for the day.

"No," I called back as I walked around her room checking out her knick knacks and some of the framed photos she had displayed. "She might break a nail or something, you know. And God forbid that happens."

Bella walked out of her bathroom, laughing at my dig about Rose, dressed down in jeans and a t-shirt. I stared at her for a moment when I realized she was wearing that Kings of Leon t-shirt again. I had to rein my hormones in a little when I noticed how it hugged her curves in all the right places.

"I really like that shirt."

"Thanks," She blushed lightly and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"So, do you want to play?"

"Sure, I could use a little fun tonight."

I was so ecstatic I thought I would start skipping as we headed down to the student lounge, but I reigned my enthusiasm in. We barely got out Bella's door before Alice's door banged open and she stood with a wide grin on her face. Apparently she had heard us coming and wanted to walk with us.

There goes my plan for trying to grab Bella's hand on the way.

Alice forced herself between us and linked arms with Bella and I. I suddenly wanted to strangle my best friend's girlfriend for getting between Bella and me. I thought back to my suspicions from the night before about how Jasper and Alice may have been trying to set us up, and I shook off Alice's intrusion.

I would make sure I walked Bella back to her room tonight alone.

The game was fairly typical for my particular group of friends. Emmett and Jasper spent most of the time arguing over who was cheating and Alice showed off some the tricks she could do with the cue stick. I hadn't known that Alice had gotten so good. The last time I played with her she could barely shoot the cue ball straight without scratching.

The best part of the evening for me was when Bella announced she had only played a couple of times. Suddenly my entire world lit up around me when I realized this was a chance for me to try and take a step further for us. I wanted to make an attempt to break the touch barrier between us, the shoulder massage from the previous night didn't exactly count in my book.

I showed Bella how to hold the stick and line it up with the cue ball. She bent over the table focusing her sight as she positioned the stick between her fingers. I bent over next to her, telling her to find the straightest line she could that would either get her a ball in the pocket, or push one closer.

Tentatively I reached out placing my hand on her lower back as she pulled the stick back. She hesitated and gasped loudly the moment my hand touched the sliver of skin exposed by her t-shirt when she bent over.

"Focus on the shot, line up both balls, and then take the shot." I explained to her quietly, hoping I didn't sound like I was trying to seduce her, because I wasn't, and I wouldn't be surprised if that was how she took it.

She didn't look at me, instead focusing her eyes back on the white ball and the blue solid she was trying to sink in a corner pocket.

She pulled the stick back as she got ready to shoot and then snapped it forward. The white cue ball shot forward and bounced off the number 2 ball giving it enough energy to roll into the corner pocket. Bella stood up with a bright, triumphant smile on her face. She turned to me beaming for a moment, and then bounced over to the other side of the table to take another shot.

I glanced over at Jasper as Bella positioned herself to shoot the number 6 ball, getting it in a center pocket. Jasper nodded to me knowingly. Out of the corner of my eye I watched Alice and Bella share a high five as Alice danced over to take a shot.

"You're getting good." I complimented Bella as she walked back over to me and sat down.

She grinned up at me brightly. "It's because you're so good at teaching me."

"Have you thought about the holiday at all? Anything special you want to do?"

"Relax," Bella sighed, stretching backward in the chair. "Why, did you have any ideas in mind?"

_A few_, I thought to myself.

Well, more than a few if I was being honest. I wanted to take her out on Friday, just the two of us, and not have to get up at the ass crack of dawn with Alice to go shopping. I knew how much Bella hated it, and I would rather take her out for a nice lunch and to the local music store. I knew she would appreciate it more than Alice dragging her around to every boutique with a sale.

"Edward?"

I looked down when Bella said my name. She was gazing at me looking a little confused.

"What?" I asked, shaking my head a bit to clear it.

"I asked if there was something you had in mind."

"Uh…yeah, there is. But I can talk to you about it later. I wouldn't want Alice to get wind of my plan to try and ditch her on Black Friday."

Bella laughed and reached up to take my shoulder in her hand. She leaned in close to my ear and whispered, "You too, huh?" She smirked at me a little sheepishly and shrugged before sitting back down.

Over the next hour or so we played two more games, Bella and Alice winning two of the total three played between us. They headed off to their rooms after wishing us guys goodnight, and Alice slipped Jasper a sufficient amount of tongue to make the rest of us gag.

I watched Bella depart down the hallway with Alice whispering something in her ear. She turned over shoulder to look at me with a wistful expression. I suddenly wished I was the one walking her back to her room. I was slightly jealous of the friendship she had with Alice. They were always linking arms and hugging.

Emmett broke me out of my self-depressing fog when he clapped my shoulder and steered me toward the boys' dormitories on the other side of the school. He teased me relentlessly the entire way back about how if I hadn't been playing like such a girl tonight then maybe we would have won all three games.

"You were spending way too much time staring at Bella's ass than focusing on the game."

"I was not!" I protested. "I was teaching her how to play. I was watching her form so I could help her correct it."

Emmett waved his hand at me in dismissal. "Pssh, whatever, Edward. You were staring at her ass and you know it. Although I don't really blame you, she does have a fine little ass on her."

"I'm telling Rosalie you just said that." Jasper interjected form behind us.

I laughed lightly and patted Emmett firmly on the back. "So, are you finally coming around to Bella's side?"

"I've always liked her, Edward." Emmett admitted, "She's a really nice girl. Rosalie…she can just be such a negative bitch sometimes. She really can. But I love her, and I always will."

Jasper and I 'awed' together at Emmett and he proceeded to punch us both in the stomach. "I never meant any harm toward Bella. I like her." He added once we continued walking.

"It's good to hear you say that. Now if we could only bring Rosalie around…" Jasper started, ending like he had no faith in the situation.

I stopped at my door scoffing at his comment and called goodnight to my friends before locking myself in for the night.

Thursday morning arrived faster than I could believe, making me fucking ecstatic to start the holiday. Bella, Alice, Jasper, and I were leaving early this morning to drive back home. Emmett and Rosalie had left last night when her parents sent a car to pick them up. She seemed a little put off when Emmett brought up how the rest of us would be spending the holiday together and she wasn't included.

Just before they left I heard her mutter something including Bella's name and the words "slumming it". I wanted to walk over to the car and punch her in the mouth, but I would never hit a girl, no matter how furious Rosalie Hale made me.

I had finished packing last night and was all set to go when Jasper came knocking at my door around 8 so we could all get on the road. He went to go get the girls while I loaded everyone's bags into Alice's Porsche. When no one had come out by the time I finished I went back in to check on them to see what was holding us up.

Jasper was hanging around outside Bella's room looking in, his face full of concern. I jogged the rest of the way down the hall and ducked into Bella's room. I could hear vomiting in the bathroom. I crossed the room quickly calling out for Alice.

"In here," She called from the bathroom. She was crouched down next to Bella holding her hair back as the poor girl bowed over the porcelain bowl emptying the contents of her stomach.

"What happened?"

Alice just shook her head at me and waved her hand in dismissal letting me know to drop the subject. I nodded in understanding, but remained standing there feeling awkward because there was nothing I could do to help. Which made me feel horrible.

Eventually Bella picked her head up and sat back against the wall panting heavily. "Edward, could you wait outside with Jasper, please?" Alice requested politely as she helped Bella to stand up. She ushered me out before shutting the bathroom door behind me.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked Jasper quietly as we stood outside playing room guard.

Jasper shrugged. "I have no idea. She was puking when I got here and Alice told me to wait outside as well."

"You think she's ok?"

Jasper shrugged again. "I have no idea, again, and it could be anything setting her off. But it can't be food poisoning, she barely ate yesterday."

I had noticed that as well, that Bella's appetite had been extremely off yesterday. She had maybe half a dozen spoonfuls of her cereal at breakfast, barely two bites of her sandwich at lunch, and no dinner at all.

The door opened a couple minutes later, Bella walking out first with Alice right behind her carrying her suitcase. I offered to take it from her so she could wrap an arm around Bella's shoulders and walk her out. The girls sat in the back of the car whispering very quietly while Jasper drove and I rode shotgun. I caught myself glancing up into the rearview mirror every couple of minutes to look at Bella.

Her face was ashen and a little dewy. I hoped that she wasn't running a fever or getting the flu. It would explain the vomiting, but she hadn't been presenting any symptoms in the past 48 hours. Bella fell asleep about half an hour into the drive, her head resting on Alice's shoulder. When I looked back to check on her I saw a few tears slipping down her cheek in her sleep.

Alice wiped them away with her sleeve and hugged Bella gently. I asked her quietly if she could tell me what was wrong, but she shook her head again and answered, "Later," in a soft whisper.

I spent the rest of the trip with my eyes front.

Bella wasn't much better when we got to Alice's parents' house. Her mother was waiting just inside the door for us and wrapped us all up in big hugs saying how thrilled she was to have a full house for the holiday. She even gave Bella a big hug welcoming her.

We left all of our stuff in the car for now and headed inside to relax. My parents weren't supposed to be showing up until about 3, and Jasper's parents around 4. Alice dragged Bella upstairs almost immediately and I knew when I heard the door slam I knew I wasn't going to be spending much time with her this afternoon before dinner.

Instead I isolated myself with Jasper in the living room to watch the football game that was on. "What do you think is wrong with Bella?"

"I think it has something to do with the holiday and that it's the first one she's spending without her parents."

Fuck, that had never occurred to me. I hadn't completely forgotten because I wasn't that much of an ass, but I also hadn't considered that an option. "I think she's just nervous about spending the holiday with someone else's family. But that's what we're all here for." He looked over at me. "To be the best friends that we can be to her."

"Yeah," I agreed quietly, speaking more so to myself than to Jasper. I desperately wanted to go upstairs and check on Bella, but at the same time I didn't know if she wanted to see me, and I didn't want to instigate an awkward situation between the two of us. "I'll be right back," I announced as I got up.

Jasper nodded and turned his attention back to the TV. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket as I walked out into the hallway where I was sure to find some privacy and a quiet corner, and dialed my father.

"We'll be there in about a half hour, Edward." My father answered when he picked up. "We're just getting ready to leave now."

"Wait, don't go yet." I pleaded quietly into my phone. "Can you…uh…can you bring something with you?"

Carlisle sighed on the other end, "What do you need, Edward, that you can't possibly find there?"

"Um…look, this is a really awkward request, but could you bring some Valium? I know you have samples and shit in your office."

"Edward, what's going on? Why would you need that?" My father's frustrated voice demanded.

"It's not for me, ok. It's for a friend."

Carlisle sighed again and I heard him tell my mother he had to run back into the house for a minute. "We'll be there in a little bit, all right? I'll see what I have."

"Thanks, dad." I hung up and shoved my phone deep into my pocket as if that would hide the conversation I had just had. Jasper suddenly shouted for me from the living room, him and Alice's father cheering for some play that had just been made.

I walked back in to join them asking what had just happened and pretending like I had never left in the first place. It was easy to feign interest in the game since it took my mind off of when my father would get here. I felt weird asking him for pills since I had never done so before, and I didn't even know why I had asked him the first place.

But I was worried about Bella, and I knew she needed help calming down if that was the case, and she was truly freaking out about what Jasper had said. Soon enough there was a knock on the front door and Alice's father got up to answer it.

I waited fifty seconds before going to meet my father out in the hallway. He was shaking hands with Alice's father and giving her mother a firm hug thanking her for having my family for the holiday. As soon as he was free I walked over to him and he discreetly placed something in my hand that he had taken from his pocket.

"I only had one, Edward. And just for the record, I don't think your friend should be popping pills right now. If he or she is troubled then they need to talk to someone."

"I'll be sure to mention that to her if she's feeling all right."

My father raised an eyebrow in question when I said "she", but he let it go and followed Alice's father out into the living room to join in watching the game with Jasper. My mother enveloped me in a huge 'mom hug' and kissed my cheek telling me she was so happy to see me before she flitted off into the kitchen to help Mrs. Brandon.

I quickly jogged up the stairs to Alice's room, which was the third door on the left, and knocked twice. It opened a moment later with Alice on the other side. Her short spiky hair was half straightened and she appeared to be in the mist of changing outfits.

"Jesus," She hissed loudly when she saw it was me standing outside. "You could've announced yourself." She fixed her blouse before allowing me entry. "Bella's in the bathroom."

"Is she sick again?" I asked, worry flooding my tone.

"No, she's doing her makeup. I thought an afternoon of makeovers would help her. And it has, sort of. She's barely talked, but she hasn't been sick again."

"Good. I called my father and asked him to bring this over for her." I pulled the single Valium out of my pocket still in its little foil bubble wrapper. "Well, I didn't mention Bella, but I asked him if he had any."

Alice took it from me giving me an accusatory glare before disappearing into the bathroom. She came out a moment later, her shirt completely fixed and closed. "Did she take it?" I asked anxiously.

"Yeah, she said 'thanks' and 'good thinking'. She's ok, Edward. Just let us be until dinner." Alice started to shove me out of the room but I turned and stopped.

"Can you please tell me what's wrong?"

"It just…stuff, ok? Now go." She pushed me out the door and slammed it shut.

This was bullshit. I wanted to talk to Bella myself.

But apparently the little pixie wouldn't allow that.

I huffed loudly as I walked downstairs, the epitome of a little child as I sat in the living room with my arms crossed over my ches, pouting as I watched the end of the game on TV with my father, Jasper and Mr. Brandon.

Jasper's parents finally arrived a little after 4, and my mother and Mrs. Brandon served dinner shortly after. Alice and Bella finally made their reappearance as they descended the stairs, both of them smiling.

I think my jaw may have gone slightly slack when I saw Bella. Alice had dressed her in a knee-length blue sweater dress and black heels. Her hair was down and straight, but I could see the hint of her natural curls coming through. She sat next to me and reached over taking my hand in my lap and squeezed it gently.

When I looked down at her in surprise she simply smiled gently at me. If she had taken the Valium it was definitely helping her, and if she didn't then Alice must have said or done something that lifted her spirits because sitting next to me was a completely different girl than the one I had seen this morning.

We didn't speak much throughout the meal, only because Bella was so busy answering questions from three different sets of parents. She managed to eat a sufficient amount of turkey, and I saw that she kept going back for more servings of cranberry sauce and green bean casserole.

I leaned over to Alice at one point and asked her what she did that seemed to help Bella so much. She just winked at me cryptically and went back to enjoying her meal. After dinner the conversation switched to school and how Alice, Jasper, Bella, and I were all doing as far as grades, which were all high.

I tucked away two slices of my mother's pumpkin pie while Bella indulged in a large slice of apple, her favorite apparently.

Eventually the adults decided to call it a night, seeing as the mothers were going shopping in the morning. The announcement alerted Alice to the time as well, and she made a show of getting Bella, Jasper and I upstairs and to bed. I was still planning on trying to ditch her in the morning. I just hoped I could come up with a good excuse.

Maybe exhaustion, since I had now been lying in bed for almost an hour and I still wasn't falling asleep. Wasn't turkey supposed to make you tired, or some shit? I rolled over for the millionth time and huffed angrily as I beat my pillow to make it a little fluffier.

I didn't flinch when I heard my door open, thinking it was the cat pushing it open. I didn't care much. I would probably get up in the middle of the night to piss and I would shut it then.

"Edward?"

I flipped back over when I heard Bella's voice and immediately sat up reaching for the light on my nightstand. "No, leave it off. I don't feel like going blind."

I pulled my hand back trying to focus my eyes to see her in the dark. She walked back over to the door and shut it before making her way, half blind, across the room to my bed.

"Do you mind…I mean is it ok if I stay in here with you tonight? I can't sleep alone."


	7. First Step

**A/N: Chapter 7, revised. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**EPOV **

I was left completely dumbfounded by Bella's request to sleep with me. I think I may have sat there in my bed just staring at her for a minute without saying anything. Finally Bella crossed the rest of the space between us and sat down on the edge of the bed. I noticed now she had her stuffed St. Bernard with her and she was clutching it tightly.

"Please, Edward, I really can't be alone right now."

"Aren't you sharing with Alice?"

"Yes, but as I was leaving, and I honestly didn't think I would have the courage, I saw Jasper sneaking into her room after I left. "

I lifted the blanket making room for her to curl up underneath with me. Bella immediately folded herself into my lap burying her face in my chest. I would have protested and try to tell her I didn't think this was such a good idea, but that was until she started to softly cry.

I drew Bella closer moving the blanket around us so she wouldn't get cold. "What's wrong?"

Her tears fell onto my skin but I ignored the chill from them. "It's my fault," she cried. "It's my fault they're gone."

With a sigh I drew us down onto the bed so we were lying on our sides facing each other. I wiped away Bella's tears with the sheet then ran my hand under her eyes to get rid of any excess moisture.

"How is it your fault?"

Bella sniffed loudly snuggling herself as close as she could to me, tucking her head under my chin. "It's such a long explanation. I just know that it's my fault, Edward."

I lifted her chin so she was looking up at me, fresh tears running down her face. I wiped them away with my thumb. "It's not your fault, Bella. Don't you dare think that. It was an accident."

"But I told them, basically forced them to go out that night. If I hadn't said anything they would still be alive." Her voice broke towards the end and she buried her face in my chest as she began to cry again. "I knew today was going to be hard…" she whispered after a minute.

"I knew it would be for you, too. I wanted to try and give you space today, but Alice took care of that for me." I commented sadly.

Bella picked her head up. "I wish she hadn't. All I wanted today was to be with you."

"Really?"

Bella nodded, and wrapped her arm underneath me. The feel of her hand across my back made me gasp, but I don't think she heard it. "Bella, can you tell me what happened? Can you tell me about your parents?"

She was silent for a long time, and I thought she had fallen asleep, but then she shifted and let out a sad sigh. "Ok," She pushed herself up so that she was supporting her weight on her elbow, so I copied the gestured and reached out tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"I had a really good childhood. My parents loved to take me camping every summer, and eventually it became a tradition. They always got along, they were always smiling with each other. It was obvious they were so in love with each. But earlier this year they started having fights, mostly about money. I mean how could they not considering the economy?

"Eventually they got so bad I thought they were going to start throwing the 'D' word around. They stopped spending time with each other and this summer we never went on our camping trip. I got so scared one night when my mother threatened to walk out. I finally gave them an ultimatum about how their fights were affecting me and that I was basically living in fear that they were going to get a divorce.

"I went on and on screaming at both of them about how they weren't considering my feelings and what a split between them would do to me. I may have been a little selfish that night, but I think I got through to them. I begged them to spend some time together again. To go out to a movie, dinner, anything… I stormed off after that and locked myself in my room for the rest of the night.

"About a week later my parents told me I was on my own for dinner because they were going out. I couldn't have been more excited. I told them about this nice restaurant in Port Angeles that I had been to with a friend recently and they admitted that's where they were going.

"I didn't want to be awake when they got back, just in case they wanted some privacy. I knew how much my parents loved each other and it would have killed them both if they split. And that was the last thing I wanted to happen to them. So I made sure that night I got my homework done and that the house was clean before heading to bed."

Bella finally stopped in her story as she shook lightly and I could almost see the moisture starting to shine in her eyes. I knew she was getting close to the part that was hardest for her to relive. I reached out and took her free hand to let her know I was still here with her and she was not alone.

"I was asleep when the house phone went off downstairs. I got up and answered it on the last ring. It was one of my dad's colleagues calling from the hospital… He told me my parents had been hit by a driver who ran a red light. My mother died instantly and my father died on the way to the hospital…"

Bella finally broke down, her head falling to the pillow where the sounds of her sobbing were muffled. My heart ached for her. I reached my arm around her drawing her to me where she buried her head in my chest once more as she unloaded all of the pain that had been weighing heavy on her heart for months now.

"It's still not your fault, Bella. You couldn't have predicted what was going to happen that night."

"But it was my fault they went out in the first place, and if I had never suggested it they wouldn't have died!"

"Bella, please listen to me." I begged her. I picked her head up and wiped away the tears cascading down her face. "Please believe me, this was not your fault, love. I won't let you believe that."

"But why did it have to happen?"

I didn't have an answer for her. She felt like she was being punished for trying to keep her family together, and I completely understood her anger toward it. It wasn't fair. No good deed goes unpunished.

"I should never have said anything to them." She finally relented, her tears calming to a slow trickle.

I shook my head and hugged her close. "No, it was good you said something to them." I took a breath letting it out slowly. "I've had to do the same with my parents. There have been times in recent years with my parents where they would start fighting, mostly over the fact that they never spend any time with each other… and instead of trying to correct that they just kept arguing about it."

Bella picked her head up unleashing the full force of her eyes on me and I knew I had to try my hardest to make everything all right for her. "What did you do?" she asked innocently.

"I yelled at them like you yelled at your parents. I'll tell you something I haven't told Alice, Jasper, or Emmett. I had to beg my parents to send me here this year, and I only did so under the reasoning that I wanted them to have as much alone time as possible. I wanted them to start spending more time together again. They finally relented and agreed to transfer me here for my senior year, so I see this as a little victory, but as far as how they are doing, I have no clue."

"What would you do if they split?"

I shook my head. "I won't let them. They have no reason, and it would be the dumbest decision they have ever made."

Bella sniffed loudly. "I wish my parents were still alive and I had that chance."

I tucked my finger under her chin lifting her face to mine. "It's not your fault, Bella, please believe that. I know you're angry, and I know you think you're being punished, but _this is not your fault_."

Bella nodded slowly. "I can't promise anything, Edward."

"I don't want you to, I just want for you to know that what happened…you had no control over it."

Bella nodded again, "Ok," she whispered quietly. This was followed by a long, drawn-out yawn from her and she proceeded to tuck herself back against my body snuggling as close as she could.

I gasped in shock at how close she was getting, never having expected it. But as her breathing slowed and eventually evened out, I wrapped my arms back around her and pushed her back just a little bit so there was a smidgen of space between us to allow for lung expansion. I ran my fingers through her hair for several minutes watching her sleep. I hoped whatever dreams she was having were peaceful.

My eyes eventually got heavy and I was about to close them and give my mind over to sleep, when I noticed Bella's stuffed dog sitting all alone on the pillow above her head. I reached for it, unwrapped Bella's arm from around me that was draped over my waist, and tucked her dog between us so she was holding him in sleep. A soft, content sigh escaped her lips, and I knew then that Bella was deep into a peaceful rest.

So with that secure thought, I let myself finally drift off.

~*~*~IT~*~*~

But our peace was only temporary. I knew we had fallen asleep some time around 2 a.m., and only two hours later Alice started banging on the door. I refused to get up because I knew I would disturb Bella. How she wasn't awake after the raucous Alice just caused I had no idea.

The door cracked open and Alice walked in, light from the hallway spilling in behind her and blinding me for a moment. "What do you want?" I moaned as I threw my arm across my eyes.

"It's 4 in the morning, time to get up. We have shopping to do," demanded Alice as she started tapping her foot. But then the noise stopped and I lifted my arm. Alice had finally seen Bella curled up against my side still sleeping soundly.

"Could you please try and be quiet." I requested. Alice's mouth fell open as she took in Bella's undisturbed form. "And we're not going shopping."

Alice looked up at me and smiled. "Ok, I'll leave you alone. Sorry I woke you." She turned to go but then stopped and turned back around. "Is she ok?" I nodded and Alice left quietly making sure she shut the door behind her.

As I settled back down, I noticed that Bella had indeed curled herself into my side. She now had one arm draped across my stomach and the other was still clutching her St. Bernard. I wrapped one arm around her shoulders letting my fingers play through her hair for a minute before my mind drifted back off to sleep.

~*~*~IT~*~*~

This time I woke up because there was soft moaning beside me. My eyes opened slowly taking in the light around me that had replaced the darkness from earlier this morning. I turned my head to the side discovering the source of the moaning. Bella was tossing lightly, her eyes clamped shut.

It was obvious she was having a nightmare, and although I wanted to wake her from it, I didn't want to frighten her further. I very gently started to run my fingers through her hair, my other hand shaking her waist.

"Bella, wake up. Bella,"

Her eyes snapped open and immediately her arms went around me as she launched herself forward against my body. Tears started to slip down her cheeks and fall onto my shoulder. She shook lightly as the last vestiges of her dream wore off.

"I'm right here, it's ok. You're safe."

"Don't let go." She whispered, clearly terrified and still reliving part of her nightmare. "Please don't leave me."

"I won't. I'm right here, Bella. I won't leave you." I rubbed her back gently as I held her, hoping I was doing some good in calming her down.

"Edward," she spoke it like a question as she pulled back from me. Her dream had finally worn off and she was now aware of our current position. "I'm so glad you're here." Her arms wormed around my neck and her leg hitched up onto my hip.

"It's ok." I rubbed her back for a moment, trying to ignore how we were positioned. I pushed her back gently so her body disengaged from mine and we were now lying facing each other. "Are you ok?" I asked as I brushed some hair behind her ear.

"I am now," Bella whispered in response. She looked around at the room taking in the light and the fact that it was obviously past 4 in the morning. "I guess we're not going shopping."

"We can always go on our own if you would like to later?"

Bella shook her head. "Not really, you know where I stand on shopping."

I nodded in acknowledgement, smiling as I chuckled lightly. "Yes, you stand right next to me in that department."

She nodded. "Yes,"

I watched her as she shifted, trying to be coy as she inched a little closer to me. I would be lying if I said I didn't want her to, so I met her halfway wrapping my arm around her. I liked having Bella this close. I knew I gave her some level of comfort, and it was nice to have this form of human contact. It had been a long time since I allowed myself to get close to a girl. And Bella was a welcome change.

But she surprised me when she moved even closer than she had been before. She kept pressing herself against me, pushing even. So I rolled over onto my back pulling her with me. Bella let out a nervous giggle as we settled.

"Sorry, I didn't mean…" She started, but I silenced her leaning up and lightly brushing my lips against hers. I pulled back, suddenly realizing what I was doing. I prayed I hadn't offended or scared her, but when I looked into Bella's eyes all I saw was intrigue.

_She had liked it_.

"Sorry…I've been wanting to do that for a while." I admitted sheepishly.

"It's ok. I've been thinking about that night, too." And I knew she was referring to earlier in the week when we had been finishing up that project for biology class.

For what felt like the longest minute of my life we just laid there staring at each other, Bella still lying on top of me with my hands at her waist and hers in my hair. We kept inching downward toward each other, but always at the last second one of us would pull back a fraction of an inch. It was like we were testing each other to see who would go first this time.

"I don't want to push you." I whispered, my lips so close to hers they were almost ghosting over them.

"You're not," Bella leaned down finally closing the tiny amount of space left between us and kissed me this time. I kissed her back, trying to remain gentle, but my male instincts were taking over, and soon we were on the verge of fumbling.

I flipped us over on the bed so Bella now lay beneath me. She twisted her hands into my hair repeatedly, and sometimes clutched at my back as her body moved underneath me. I kept one arm wrapped around her holding her close and the other lying flat on her stomach.

We parted a few times for air but got right back into it. When she opened up I tentatively deepened our kiss, sweeping my tongue across hers slowly, testing the water. The whimper I received in return was enough assurance for me that Bella was still enjoying this.

So I held her a little tighter, kissed her a little deeper. I wasn't trying to find my limit with her; I just couldn't help myself. I had wanted this so much the last few days, and now that I finally had her here I wasn't going to stop until she told me to.

When she breathed my name as we parted again for air I swear I felt my already constricted sleep pants get even tighter. I slipped my hand up into her hair and ground my hips down on hers, surprised when she threw one leg around my waist. I couldn't help the moan that escaped my lips and ground down against her harder.

Bella pulled back with a sharp gasp and stared up at me in shock. Her hands lay flat on my chest bracing me preventing me from leaning back down to kiss her again. I was suddenly afraid I had crossed a line, but I couldn't take back what had just happened.

"We should stop," She whispered. "Before this goes somewhere that we'll both regret later."

I let out a sigh of relief. So I hadn't scared her, and despite how I wanted to keep going I knew she was right that we should stop before we made a mistake. But I had to be a wiseass and press myself down on her. Bella threw her head whimpering softly and exposing her creamy neck to me. I took advantage of the moment and pressed my lips to her throat, her fingers tangling back into my hair.

"I don't want to stop," I told her.

"I don't…either," Bella panted, "But we…we have to. _Edward_…"

Hearing her moan my name made me shift against her again and this time I found a second of friction that made me moan her name. But I finally pulled back from her and rolled over onto my back. Bella followed by rolling over onto her side and propped herself up onto her elbow.

She reached over and stroked my chest through my t-shirt, "I'm not going to lie and say I regret that because I most certainly do not."

"I don't either. But you were right, and I would hate to make a mistake that could be the end of our friendship."

"Edward, I don't want to be 'just friends' with you anymore."

My head snapped up and I stared at her as my eyes widened in obvious surprise.

_Was she saying what I think she was saying?_

"I'm willing to give this a shot because I like you, and I know you're not the pompous, arrogant asshole I first thought you were. You're a regular, well maybe a little more than regular, guy. And in all honesty…" Bella bit her lip and looked down for a moment as a light blush painted her cheeks with obvious embarrassment. I reached out tucking my finger under her chin and titled her face back up to mine.

"In all honesty what?" I encouraged.

Bella took a breath and let it out quietly, "I would like to know what would happen if we did keep going eventually."

I couldn't fight back the smile that split my lips and I leaned up capturing Bella's mouth as I rolled her over onto her back pinning her beneath me. We kissed frantically for several minutes, despite our earlier agreement to stop, although I could tell we were both keeping it in the back of our minds. Our kisses were not as passionate this time. Instead they were light, sweet, and almost tender.

I pulled back from Bella gazing down at her and tucked some hair behind her ear. "How about we go get some lunch today, just you and me?"

Bella nodded, "Yeah, I'd like that. And maybe we can find a good bookstore. I'm in sore need of some new material."

I chuckled and leaned down to press a kiss to the tip of her nose. "Whatever you want, Bella."

"I like how that sounds."


	8. Black Friday

**A/N: Chapter 8, revised. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**BPOV**

I wasn't completely shocked by the time when Edward and I finally extracted ourselves from his bed. I would have been content to just lie there with him all day. Sleeping on and off most likely would have happened, but I had found so much peace lying in his arms last night that I knew it was going to be difficult to sleep alone from now on.

I may have to look up just how much trouble I would get in at school for being caught in his bed. Not that I cared.

Much.

But then he suggested that the two of us, just the two of us, go out and have lunch. I requested that we find a Barnes and Noble, or even a Borders although I preferred the former, and Edward readily agreed. I was pleased to discover that he was just as much a bookstore junkie as I was. I could literally linger in one of those places for hours and never get bored.

We agreed to meet each other downstairs after separate showers and a chance to freshen up and get dressed. I remembered all of the tips that Alice had given me on clothing, and how the proper outfit could serve as an angler. I didn't want to think of getting together with Edward as "fishing", but this had been Alice giving me advice…and to say the girl was a small flirt was the understatement of the century.

But I at least wanted Edward to look at me, maybe even blatantly stare. Because then that would mean I was doing something right, and for once I wanted to feel that kind of power. I chose my favorite pair of broken in jeans that were so comfortable I knew I wouldn't have an issue walking around in them all day. I paired those with one of the tops Alice had bought me on our first shopping trip together, a short sleeve woven top that had alternating horizontal stripes of hyacinth and navy blue. I slipped my feet into a pair of black flats and left my hair down before applying just a little bit of makeup.

I took Edward's open mouth as he watched me descend the stairs as a good sign that I had chosen my outfit for the day well. He was waiting for me by the door with my coat over his arm and he helped me slip it on, ever the gentleman, and he even got the front door for me.

"The only other person here right now is Alice's father and he's behind a locked office door, so I don't really think it matters if he knows we're going out for a while. You look beautiful by the way."

I blushed deeply and thanked him, taking a moment to appraise his choice of clothing as well. He had picked my favorite pair of jeans on him, the ones that hung a little loose on his hips but didn't leave much to the imagination around his ass. They were beat up and torn, and I almost wanted to ask him if they were intentionally or unintentionally distressed.

But I kept my mouth shut as I let my eyes roam over the rest of his body. He had on a simply black t-shirt over which he wore a gray button down that he had left completely open. He had thrown on a short, grey wool pea coat before we stepped outside. Overall I thought he looked beautiful as well, and I wanted to just ogle him in what he was wearing because he looked too good to take his clothes off.

And I already knew what his upper body looked like, having lounged with him in his bed this morning when he was half naked. I wasn't disappointed either. He may not go to a gym on a regular basis, but it was obvious that he had been athletic for several years.

"So I don't know this area too well," Edward admitted as we started walking down the street. "But I do know there's a couple fast food restaurants within a twenty minute walk radius. We passed them on the way here."

"I'm actually in the mood for a good and greasy cheeseburger."

"Good," Edward smiled at me, "Me too," He reached down to where my hand hung between us and grasped it slipping his fingers into mine. I gasped at first at his touch, having not expected it, and he glanced at me in concern. "Is this ok?" He asked.

"Yeah, it's fine." I squeezed his hand back because it felt so good clasped in mine. After a couple minutes of walking in comfortable silence I decided to make the next move and I leaned into him laying my head against his shoulder.

I didn't look up to see the smile on Edward's face, but I heard it in the content sigh that he let slip out. And that sound warmed my heart.

A little more than twenty minutes later we were walking hand in hand into a McDonalds. We were both starving from the walk and from the fact that we had yet to eat anything today. I glanced at the big clock on the wall by the door noticing it was nearing one in the afternoon. Edward led me to the short line in front of the registers and we stood there staring up at the menu to decide what we wanted.

As I went over the choices in front of me I felt Edward flex his fingers for a moment and then wrapped them back around mine. I squeezed his hand again and he looked down at me with another dazzling smile.

"So what did you decide on?" I asked him as we moved up to the second place in line.

"I usually don't eat fast food, so when I do I like to make the digestive misery worth it, and I usually get a Big Mac." I smiled sheepishly at him, already salivating over the thought of food.

"Same, so two numbers 1s, you want supersize?"

I shook my head vehemently. "No, medium is fine. I can't drink that much soda, but I probably could eat all the fries." Cue embarrassed blush.

Edward chuckled and wrapped his arm around my shoulders as he dropped a kiss to the top of my head. "Don't worry, I like a girl who can eat and doesn't just order a salad."

"You mean Rosalie?"

He laughed quietly, nodding. "Something like that."

Once we made it to the front of the line he ordered our lunch and insisted on paying. "I asked you out, I pay." He explained, whipping out a credit card. I didn't really have much a choice since he had already handed the plastic to the cashier.

I opted to take our cups and fill them while he waited for the food. He was specific about what he wanted and I filled his cup with half Coke and half Dr. Pepper. I sipped it to see how it tasted and wound up filling my cup the same way. I had never considered mixing the two together before and had to admit it was tasty.

I grabbed a corner booth near a window and waited, watching Edward at the counter. His back was to me so I had the opportunity to stare at his ass for a couple minutes. Until I noticed the two young girls that had sauntered up beside him, also waiting for food.

I tried to tamp down the jealousy that flared up inside me when they started talking to him, but the moment one of them reached over and placed her hand on his shoulder in a more than friendly gesture, I felt myself rising angrily from my seat and walking over to the counter with determination.

I slipped an arm possessively around Edward's waist as I came beside him. "I got us a table over there." I nodded in the direction of the window, glancing up at the two girls who were by far more beautiful than I was. My ego swelled just a bit when I saw the death glares they were giving me.

Edward leaned down and kissed my forehead. "Good choice, you get my soda?"

"Yes…" I sighed, wrapping my other arm around his waist so I was now hugging him. "I know how you like it." I didn't mean for the line to come out as a double entendre, but when Edward glanced down at me, his eyes growing dark with desire, I was glad for my slip of the tongue.

He grabbed our food when it was up and we walked back over to our table, my arm still secured around his waist. We ate in silence for a few minutes, enjoying our burgers and fries while they were still warm.

"So what was that all about?" Edward asked me as he stuck a fry in his mouth.

"What was what about?" I asked, playing dumb.

"That little…episode at the counter? Jealous much, Bella?" He teased.

"I didn't like her touching you."

Edward chuckled shaking his head at me. "You don't have to worry, the only plastic I like to have around is my credit card. I'm not even remotely interested in girls who think that if they wear a ton of perfume they'll snag a guy because they smell good."

"I was wondering what that horrific stench was."

Edward leaned forward toward me as if he wanted to share a secret. "I liked that, though. You're little display of possessive tendencies. It was sexy."

I blushed a deep, deep crimson and bowed my head in heavy embarrassment. I had never known myself to behave like that before when it came to a guy, and so it had shocked me immensely. However, with Edward, I didn't want any other girl around him.

And then I remembered Tanya back at school and the horror stories Edward had shared with me about her and how she was always making moves on him. He admitted that he had finally threatened her with legal action the next time she touched him. I assured him that if she ever came near him again the bitch would get a beat down.

We spent the rest of lunch discussing lighter topics and what was left in terms of class work once we got back on Sunday. I couldn't wait for Christmas break, and was secretly hoping Edward would ask me to spend it with him, but I wasn't going to hold my breath.

"Are taking anything new next semester, or are you just sticking with full-year classes?" He asked as we threw out our trash.

"Everything I'm taking right now is a full-year course, so nothing new for me after Christmas."

"Same," Edward held the door for me as we walked out, and he grabbed my hand again, but this time he brought it up to his mouth and kissed the back of it sweetly. I blushed turning my head to the side and caught site of the two girls who had been flirting with him earlier. They were still giving me death glares. I was so tempted to stick my nose in the air, but instead I wrapped my arm through Edward's and leaned my head on his shoulder as I had done earlier.

"Can we find a bookstore now?" I asked excitedly.

"Absolutely, I could use a good walk around a bookstore. Always helps with the digestion."

We wandered toward a plaza that was just across the road, a big sign for Barnes and Noble just calling to me. I was so anxious to get into the store that I didn't let Edward get the door for me this time, grabbing the handle myself and yanking the huge glass door open, eager to surround myself with the hundreds of texts and novels inside.

"You're like a kid in a candy store here, aren't you?"

"This is my favorite place in the world. I could live in this store." I turned to say to him as we walked inside. "I love it here."

"Me, too,"

"What's your favorite kind of book?" I asked, swinging our hands between us lightly.

"Anything, honestly, but I particularly love historic novels. You?"

"Same, I love anything, but I have a particular fondness for the classics."

"I figured you would, you seem like that kind of girl."

We walked in the direction of fictional novels and started perusing the shelves, both of us looking for something we hadn't read yet, or any new releases that looked good. After about ten minutes or so of roaming aimlessly Edward leaned in close to me whispering,

"Anything look interesting?"

I reached up plucking the spine of a hardcover pulling it down off the shelf. "I've been wanting to read this for a while, but I've just heard so many mixed reviews about it I never picked it up."

He glanced down at the book in my hand. "Alice read it and she loved it, actually she couldn't stop talking about for weeks. She immediately went out and bought the second book in the series."

"Well," I flipped the book over in my hand reading over the praises for the novel on the back cover and then back to the outstretched hands holding an apple on the front, "I have always trusted her judgment more than my own." I tucked the novel under my arm intent on buying it and giving it a chance.

"I read the first few chapters and wasn't impressed, it definitely seemed more like a novel for girls than guys. It plays up teen romance to an almost unbelievable level."

"See, talk like that was the reason I hesitated in picking this up." I smacked him on the arm with the book. "Don't ruin my opinion about it before I even start."

Edward let my hand go and rubbed his arm where I hit him. "Ow, that actually hurt. You really shouldn't hit people with hardcover books."

"You shouldn't ruin my book high." I retorted. I got a chaste kiss in response before Edward led me further along the wall as he searched for a book for himself. After an hour of looking through the entire store, and not having found much that interested him, Edward settled on the new issue of Popular Science and picked up Popular Mechanics to give to Emmett, which he was then supposed to pass along to Rosalie.

"He probably won't, you know that right?" I questioned him as we stood in line. "He'll just keep it for himself in his bathroom, something pretty to look at…"

"No, that's what Rose's Victoria's Secret catalogues are for. He steals them from her."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" I moved up in line and pulled out my membership card to get 10% off, then Edward slid up next to me tossing his magazines on top and pulled out his credit card. "I want to pay for my book." I pouted at him.

"Bella, it's like ten bucks…I got it. Don't worry."

We stopped for coffee at the in-store Starbucks and then headed back to Alice's house. Edward offered to carry the plastic bag with our purchases in the same hand he carried his coffee, just so that free one was able to hold mine. I found all of his little gestures unbearably sweet and was immediately thankful that I had given him a second chance. He truly was more than I had expected.

Thankfully Alice and Jasper had yet to return by the time we got back, and we assumed they were either still shopping, or they had finished and were getting food. Taking advantage of the quiet in the house, we went out back with our coffees and settled into some chairs with our new reading material.

The next thing we both knew, however, Alice was shaking us both awake. At some point in time I had crawled into Edward's lap where I promptly fell asleep wrapped up in his arms.

"Did you guys go out at all?" Alice asked, all bubbly from her day of shopping and finding deals. She sat down in one of the empty chair next to us, both of her legs bouncing from either excitement at finding us cuddled up, or too much caffeine throughout the day.

I sat up repositioning myself as Edward steadied me in his lap. "Yeah, we went out for lunch and then did a little book shopping." He explained as he yawned and stretched behind me.

"How was your day?" I asked Alice, she looked positively too excited about something and it struck me that maybe she was bouncing from wanting to share something with us rather than too much coffee or too much excitement.

"Well, Jazz and I found this really great store…" She started, and then suddenly she thrust her left hand out at us. "He got me a promise ring!" She squealed. I looked down at the silver band around her ring finger. It had one diamond on it set into the band itself instead of raised above it.

"Oh, Alice, it's beautiful." I cooed as I looked it over.

"Congrats, although it's not really a shocker." Edward offered. Alice nodded in agreement but thanked him as well. He sat up a little, groaning from having to move me, but it wasn't a groan in pain…more so…discomfort. Like I was shifting in his lap in a good way.

"So when's dinner?" I asked as I tried to ignore the way Edward was subtly moving beneath me again.

"About an hour," Alice fiddled with her short hair. "I just asked mom, Jasper complained he was starving. You guys want to watch a movie with us while we wait? We picked up some funny ones that were buy three get one free."

Edward and I both agreed, and I lifted myself from his lap finally. Alice bounced inside to get everything set up leaving the two of us alone on the back deck. I looked down at Edward with a sly grin on my face.

"Getting a little uncomfortable are we?" I teased him.

He stood slowly, his eyes never leaving mine, and he started to back me against the wood railing. His hands came out on either side of me, effectively pinning me and preventing my escape. And then his lips descended on mine in a much softer kiss than I had been expecting.

"I can you just how uncomfortable I am, if you wish." He whispered in my ear, his body already closing the space between us.

My hands had already reached up twisting into his hair, one now falling to his shoulder. "That would be going against what we decided this morning. You really don't want to do that."

Edward was silent for a moment as he ghosted his lips over mine again, his hands now on my waist. "Promise you'll come spend the night with me again?"

I felt a small smile tug on the corners of my lips. I couldn't believe he was actually asking me. And I had to admit I wanted nothing more than sleep away the rest of my nights in his arms. I had never found so much peace in a place as I had there.

"Only if you promise that once we get back to the school, we find a way to make this work."

A triumphant smile spread his lips and nodded earnestly. "I would like nothing more." He turned then so his back was to me. "Hop on," He offered.

"What?" I cocked my head to the side in confusion.

"What, too old for a piggy back, Isabella?"

I laughed at his playfulness, but took him up on it and jumped up onto his back wrapping my legs around his hips. He carried me inside like that, both of us giggling the entire time out of sheer happiness.


	9. Hot and Heavy

**A/N: Chapter 9, revised. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**EPOV**

"What do you guys want to do this weekend?" asked Alice as our little group meandered the halls of the school after dinner the following Friday. Bella simply shrugged her shoulders, Jasper said he didn't care, and I remained silent.

"You know that doesn't really help." Alice pointed out. We all shrugged this time. Alice huffed in frustration and grumbled something about a boring weekend coming our way. Jasper grabbed her hand and brought it up to his mouth kissing it tenderly.

"Chill, babe, ok. I'm sure we'll come up with something."

"Yeah…chill, babe." Bella chuckled beside me. Alice peeked around Jasper's side and glared at her.

"You don't get to tease since you didn't contribute anything for the weekend. You too, Edward." Alice snapped her eyes up to me at the last second.

"How about a movie." I suggested.

Alice waved it off, "We did that two weeks ago."

"Not shopping." Bella quickly interjected. "And besides, I have too much homework."

"We've been back for a week, how do you have too much work already?" I asked incredulously. "We're in all the same classes practically and I don't have that much."

Bella squeezed my hand harshly pushing the bones together, her way of telling me to shut the fuck up. I winced and glanced down at her in apology. I knew she was trying to avoid the mall yet again. Alice had been yammering all week at lunch about needing to go out and find dresses for the winter formal dance in a few weeks.

"Well what does that leave us with?" Jasper asked. "I really don't want to hang around the school that much. We always go to the sunroom, play pool and study. Boring…" Jasper mocked snoring for a moment making us all laugh loudly.

We had wandered from one end of the school to the other and were now heading for the library. I had to pull Bella away as we passed it. I know she wanted to go in there and see if there were any new books in.

"Uh no, we were just there this afternoon. You know there's nothing new yet." I wrapped my arm securely around her shoulders and hauled her along as we all went outside into the fresh autumn air. It was cool enough to warrant jackets, but we all had uniform sweaters on that were relatively warm, and we weren't going to be staying out here too long because it was getting dark.

"I'm going to be diplomatic here and say we just play it by ear." Jasper offered.

"I can live with that." Bella stated eagerly.

"So can I, I mean we just hung out for four days straight over the weekend. If we don't do anything together this weekend, it's really not that much of a loss." I watched as Alice processed that. She finally sighed and let her shoulders relax.

"All right. I just wanted to do something together. Don't look at me like that, Bella. You need a dress!"

Bella just rolled her eyes and snuggled herself a little closer into my side. She shivered lightly so I tightened my arm around her a bit. Since getting back to campus over the past week we had been spending as much time together outside of class that we could.

In class we didn't get the chance to speak much, having to pay attention and ask questions when necessary and take notes. We had quick conversations at meals, throwing ideas back and forth about the topics discussed in class.

Once the day was over we wanted to hang out and have real conversations, but Bella had been right about homework. Although we didn't have as much as she was trying to make Alice believe, there was quite a bit, and adding to the fact that we were both taking all AP level classes, well…we were busy.

But that didn't mean we weren't trying. Bella had made only one request of me over the holiday. That we try to make this…whatever it was between us… work. I needed time alone with her in order to make that happen. So we could have the conversations we needed to have and maybe even score a little personal time.

Although we had agreed that giving in to our physical desires for each other now would more than likely be catastrophic, we were both also curious as to where it could lead should we give in to them eventually.

"We should head back inside." I noted as I looked up at the fading light in the sky. In front of us was what was left of the sunset, fading pink and purple as the star dipped lower behind the horizon. Overhead the sky was almost completely dark. A breeze whipped through the trees just then and both girls shrieked at the sudden cold.

"Yeah, lets go before the women get frostbite." Jasper teased. He took Alice's hands and rubbed them gently trying to create some friction, although I was sure they would be creating other friction this weekend. I could tell from the look on Alice's face. She watched Jasper with fascination and some color crept into her cheeks as her boyfriend blew on her hands to warm them.

Once back inside the announcement was coming over the speakers that it was time to head back to our rooms for the night. Jasper and Alice bid us good night and walked down the hall to her room where they nonchalantly slipped inside together shutting the door firmly behind them.

I reached down between Bella and me slipping my fingers into hers. "You want to stay with me tonight?" I asked her. I knew she did. She had spent every night over the holiday in my bed with me, just sleeping of course, and I knew it was going to be difficult for her once we got back to campus.

I understood that she didn't want to be alone at night. It was her first family holiday without her family. And it was bound to be tough on her. I was there for her in every way that I could be, but I didn't want her to become dependant on something that she may not be able to rely on.

The first night back she had tried to sneak over to my room, but almost got caught and quickly scampered back to hers. The next night I tried to follow her into her room like Jasper slipped into Alice's, but a teacher just happen to be walking down the hall and called me out on it.

"Time to say good night, Mr. Cullen." He stated as he walked past, and I'll be damned if he wasn't waiting just around the corner at the end of the hall as I walked past to go to my room.

We finally stopped outside Bella's door and she turned to face me. There were still some students milling around in the hall, boys and girls. Bella reached behind her for her doorknob, and with a quick twist she had it open, pulling me in behind her and shutting it firmly before locking it.

"I guess that's a no." I stated.

Bella chuckled lightly and pulled her sweater off dropping it on her bed. "Nope, I want you to stay with me tonight." She kicked her shoes off and yanked off her knee high socks after that leaving her in just her blouse, necktie and skirt.

We had of course thought ahead and assumed that eventually we would manage to spend the night with each other and had exchanged a couple changes of clothes and something to sleep in. Bella walked over to her dresser grabbing a pair of my sleep pants for me and some pajamas for herself.

"You want to use the bathroom first?" She asked, already walking towards it.

"No, you go ahead, I'll get changed out here." I quickly stripped out of my uniform and tugged on my sleep pants before Bella made her reappearance. I neatly folded my uniform leaving it on a chair by the door and then waited for my chance to brush my teeth.

Bella exited the bathroom a minute later, stopping in the doorway to look at me. Well, it was more like stare at me, her eyes drifting over my bare torso. I watched her visibly swallow, and suddenly remembered this was the first time since last weekend that we had managed to spend the night together. It had been that long since Bella had last seen me shirtless, and I had last seen her in the little camisole and shorts combo.

We walked past each other slowly, trying to avoid the staring, but I knew we were far too interested to not stare. I shut the door firmly behind me for a little privacy, did my business and brushed my teeth. I looked over the different bottles Bella had on her small counter. A couple different lotions, her face wash and toothpaste among other girly things. I picked up one of the bottles of lotion and sniffed it carefully.

So this was what made her smell so good in the morning. That and whatever shampoo she used. I set it down and picked up the next one. It had a slightly more perfume smell to it and I recognized it as fragrance I smelled on her whenever we went out. I held up both bottles and sniffed them together. They melded perfectly, sweet and sultry.

"Hey, what are you doing in there? Did you fall in?" Bella's voice teased from the other side of the door.

Embarrassed by my sneaking around in her bathroom, I quickly put everything back the way it had been and opened the door. "Feeling ok?" Bella asked.

"Yeah, fine. Can't a man linger in the bathroom, too?"

"Jasper maybe, with that crazy hair of his. All you have to do is roll out of bed and yours is set." To emphasize her point, Bella reached and ran her fingers through my hair a couple times mussing it up.

"Uh…not exactly." I patted some sections down to get it back the way I liked it. "There is a little work involved." I added as Bella and I wandered over to her bed. She got in after me snuggling into my side. "Warm enough?"

"Mm hm," Bella nodded her head against my shoulder. I heard her breathe deep then let it out as a sigh. She snuggled a little bit closer, practically wrapping her body around mine. I returned the gesture slipping my arm under her body and around her back. As Bella got comfortable beside me I started to lightly run my fingers up and down her arm. She surprised me with a soft hum, obviously in approval of my touch. It didn't take me long to fall asleep after that, my mind drifting off into happy dreams of Bella and I together.

~*~*~*IT*~*~*~

**BPOV**

"Alice, I'm not wearing lilac to a winter dance!" I exclaimed as the pixie thrust a light purple halter dress at me, mind you it was two sizes too small.

"But purple is such a pretty color on you, and you need something stunning. You want to outshine Tanya in every way, not that Edward is going to notice her, but I know it will piss her off to no end."

"This should not be about pissing off Tanya, this should be about wanting to look nice for Edward." I grabbed a mint green strapless dress off the rack and immediately put it back.

Alice folded her arms on the rack and gazed across the sea of tulle and taffeta at me with a smirk on her face. "You know, no matter what you wear Edward will love it on you."

"I know," I sighed, "But I still want to look halfway decent." I flipped through a couple more dresses and picked out an ice blue strapless with a black velvet hem. "What about this one?" I asked Alice, holding it up.

"You'll look more than halfway decent in that one, Bella." She smiled at me. I returned it and headed for the dressing rooms.

A few minutes later I heard Alice knocking on my door and asking if she could see the dress. "Can you zip this for me?" I asked, walking out backwards.

Alice pulled the zipper up and I turned so I could see myself in the mirror. I loved the way the dress hugged my waist making it look tiny. And the velvet running along the top and bottom hem was the perfect accent to the light color of the dress.

"This is the perfect dress for you, Bella. You just need a wrap to go with it. White maybe…or gray. I saw the perfect black shoes for you, too." Alice smoothed the dress out a little more as she appraised the cut of it appreciatively. "Perfect fit, too. Don't even need to have it tailored. I'm going to go try this on, I'll be right back."

"Wait, can you unzip me first?" Alice pulled the zipper down and then headed off to the dressing stall next to mine. I quickly changed from the dress back into my regular clothes.

The shoe section was right next to the dresses so I preoccupied myself with perusing the black shoes while I waited for Alice. I think I may have even found the shoes she had said would be perfect for my dress. They were three-inch black velvet pumps, and they were _so_ comfortable.

"Those are the ones," Alice confirmed when she joined me a few minutes later. She grabbed up a pair of silver shoes to go with her own white dress that she had picked out and we made our way over to jewelry. I already had a basic black clutch that I planned on using so I didn't need to look at any of those.

Since it was a weekend, the weekend before Christmas break in fact, and it was late when we finally left the mall, Alice insisted we grab dinner and take it back to the school. We had really been calling it close since the dance was this upcoming Friday. I had put off buying my dress as long as possible, and I was satisfied with what I had found at the last moment.

"Why does it always take girls forever to find dresses?" Edward asked me later that evening.

I had sneaked into his bedroom after "lights out". I didn't want him in my room simply because my dress was hanging in the closet, albeit in an opaque dress bag, but Edward was sneaky and I knew he would look before Friday.

He walked out of his bathroom in sleep pants and a t-shirt. I wished for a moment that he had forgone the shirt, but it was cold out now, I couldn't blame him.

"Because every detail has to be precise." I responded from the desk not looking up from my typing. I was finishing up my last paper for history class before the break.

"That's crap," Edward scoffed as he hopped up on the bed. "At least for you it is. I don't mean that in a bad way, I just know that you don't care about the details."

"You're right, I don't. But this is my first formal ball," I turned to look at him finally, "and I want to look nice."

"You always look nice."

"I…"

"Come here," Edward interrupted me patting the spot next to him on the bed. I sighed, but saved my paper and shut my computer off before climbing up on the bed next to him.

"You don't need to worry about looking 'nice' or 'pretty'." Edward told me, "because you're always beautiful to me. I thought you were the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen the first time I saw you."

"Since when are you so sweet?"

"I've always been sweet."

I scoffed and shook my head at him giving him a look. "Please, Edward."

"Cut me a little slack, I'm a teenage male." And to emphasize his point he leaned over and kissed me soundly. "But you know I'm sweet. At least sweet on you."

"That's because you like me," I started running my fingers through his hair just because he was there and I could do it, and I just couldn't help myself. The fact that Edward moaned the moment my fingers touched his scalp didn't hurt either.

"I more than like you, Bella." He rasped out before attaching his mouth to mine.

We kissed heavily for several minutes, tongues stroking against each other. I couldn't keep my hands off of him. He rolled me over onto my back so I was pinned against the bed, his body settling between my legs as I made room for him. I could more than clearly feel the effect our kissing was having on him. The proof was hard and rubbing against the inside of my thigh every time he moved.

If we kept this up for much longer there was going to be some serious dry humping. Sexual tension had been building between us ever since Thanksgiving break, emphasized each time we managed to steal a few minutes for a brief make out session. Edward always managed to get at least a semi going if not a full blown hard on.

And right now was no different. He was incredibly hard, and obviously not wearing any boxers underneath his sleep pants. I was desperate to reach down between us and start rubbing it, but I held back. I didn't want to give him the wrong idea and wind up with a pissed and grumpy, not to mention blue-balled, Edward next to me for the night.

It was difficult not to stop, though. The way his hands were rubbing my side, the way his tongue slid against mine, and God…the way he tasted.

But stop we had to. We were on the verge of dry humping, well technically we had already started but it wasn't intense, yet. I unwillingly pulled away from Edward's mouth panting hard and placed one hand on his chest to keep him from coming down on me again.

"Smart idea," he gasped above me, and flopped over onto his back to catch his breath. "But now I've got this to deal with." And he motioned to the lump in his pants. "Want to help?"

"I stopped for that specific reason, Edward. And despite how much I would love to help you, I don't want…"

"For me to get the wrong idea? Come on, Bella give me a little credit. Going into this I knew it wasn't going to go anywhere we didn't want it to go. And by 'this' I mean the very welcome make out session we just had. Not our relationship."

"Oh, good." I sighed and rolled over so I was facing him. For a moment I just watched him, watched as he breathed and the rise and fall of his chest. My hand acted of its own accord, reaching out first to stroke his torso over his t-shirt before I let it skim underneath the thin cotton.

His skin was flame hot, his muscles twitching as I brushed the tips of my fingers over them. He squirmed as if I was tickling him and a small smile appeared on his face. I let my hand dip a little lower and I started rubbing the crotch of his sleep pants.

"Oh yeah, that's it." Edward moaned appreciatively. I could tell he was trying very hard not to grab my hand and direct it. His fingers kept twitching every few seconds, and they weren't the only part of him twitching either.

Feeling emboldened by the response I was receiving, I slipped my hand underneath the elastic and touched him skin on skin. Edward had to turn his head to bury his face in the pillow to muffle the strangled moan that escaped him. I had enough experience with my few ex-boyfriends from Forks to know the basics, but each man was different.

"What do you like?" I asked, already tugging gently on his cock.

"Exactly what you're doing, don't stop."

I smiled to myself, averting my eyes from where my hand was buried down his pants, instead watching his face as it contorted further in pleasure. Being so wound up already from the heavy kissing, it didn't take Edward long to reach his climax.

I went to grab a washcloth and dampen it with hot water while Edward caught his breath for a second time, and came back to clean him up. He didn't mind at all when I removed his sleep pants and started washing up his naked penis. Neither of us was at all shy about it, although the entire situation felt a little awkward.

"If you get to see me naked, I get to see you naked."

"I don't think so. Not tonight."

I went to wash my hands while he changed into clean sleep pants and got back in his bed.

"I have a question for you, if you're willing to hear it." He prompted as I got back in bed beside him.

"Go ahead," I snuggled up on his chest. We were being so nonchalant about the sexual encounter that had just happened between us, and I wondered for a moment if maybe Edward was a little embarrassed after all.

"Do you want to spend the holidays with my family?"

I looked up at him for a moment, half sitting up. "Um…do you think that's a good idea?"

"I think it's a great idea. We can have some quality time together in the house, alone. Both of my parents work, my dad at the hospital and my does a ton of charity stuff this time of the year."

"Can I think about it and let you know?"

"How different could it be from Thanksgiving?"

I tucked some hair behind my ear and snuggled back down next to him. "Just let me think about it, ok. I'll have an answer for you by Friday night at the latest."

"Calling it close since we all leave the following morning."

"That's why I said 'at the latest'."

Edward was silent for a moment, but then I felt him slipping a hand under my chin and he turned my face up, his lips pressing very softly against mine. "Thank you for everything tonight." He said quietly, gently.

"It was my pleasure, as well as yours." I smiled. Edward chuckled and kissed me again before wishing me sweet dreams. He didn't mention the holidays again before he fell asleep a few minutes later, with me following shortly after.


	10. Air

**A/N: Chapter 10, revised. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**BPOV**

By Friday afternoon I was on my last nerve with Alice. She had been fussing over my hair for days now, telling me to make sure I kept it clean and put a conditioner in it so it was silky soft. Make sure I washed my face four times a day. Was she crazy? My skin was going to dry out. Honestly, it was just a dance. I could care less about how my hair looked or how smooth my skin was. This was not the biggest deal in the world.

"It _is_ a big deal, Bella." Alice exclaimed as she appeared from her bathroom with her arms full of beauty paraphernalia, half of which I couldn't name and was slightly afraid of. "The prom court is decided after this dance, and if you and Edward want a shot at being nominated you both need to be flawless tonight."

"Does that even matter?" I asked, turning over my shoulder to glare at her. "Did you even consider the possibility that I don't want to be nominated for prom queen? Do you think I really care?"

"Of course you do. Besides," She stopped behind me and started pulling at my hair and rolling sections into hot curlers. "I think it would make Edward very happy to know he has the prettiest girl by his side."

"So this about parading me around?" I snapped.

"No, of course not. If anything it's me trying to help you with your self-esteem, Bella."

"I'm sorry, Alice." I covered my face with my hands and she told me to pick my head back up. "I'm just really tired. I haven't been sleeping well. Christmas is so close now and…"

Alice stopped what she was doing and placed both hands on my shoulders. Her eyes sought mine in the tall mirror that I was seated in front of. "I understand, Bella. But everything is going to be ok, we're going to have so much together over the holidays. I think Edward may even be coming over for New Year's. What's wrong?"

I sighed, avoiding her gaze for a moment. Alice returned to her work, her eyes sometimes shifting to mine waiting for me to answer her. "Edward sort of asked me to spend the holidays with his family…and I said yes."

To my surprise, Alice actually smiled. "That's great, Bella. I'm really glad he manned up and asked you. You two will have a great time together, although I still want everyone to get together for New Year's."

"Depends if he lets me out of the house."

"I think you mean his bed."

I blushed deeply and looked away from Alice's penetrating gaze in the mirror. She was absolutely right and I knew it. It wasn't like Edward and I hadn't discussed sex, but we weren't exactly taking it seriously either. We both wanted it, desperately, and we knew it. But we weren't acting on it, and I didn't know why.

Neither one of us was a virgin. We both had enough experience with past relationships to make it good for each other, but we were both too afraid to take that step past serious groping and heavy kissing. Part of me started to wonder if Edward actually wanted to have sex with me, or was it just his way of trying to make me feel sexy and wanted?

"That's if we do anything." I said, entering myself back into the conversation.

"Oh you'll do something, I know it." Alice tapped her temple and smirked at me. "Ok, try not to move your head too much for the next thirty minutes or so while your hair sets. Did you bring your dress with you or is it still in your closet?"

"It's in my closet still, sorry."

"No problem, I'll go grab it. You stay here." Alice snatched my key from on top of her dresser and dashed out of the room.

While I waited I walked around the room examining Alice's taste in decoration. She had a few band posters up, lots of pictures of her and Jasper at various events and outings, and a few pictures of her family. She had strung some decorative lights over her bed and hung a paper Chinese lantern over her desk.

"Sit, you can't be moving so much." She chided me walking in, my dress bag over her arm and the box with my shoes and accessories under her free hand.

"I can't sit anymore. My ass hurts from that chair." I kicked at the wooden desk chair that Alice planted me firmly back in a moment later. She put a pillow down first, though.

"Better?"

"I guess,"

For the next two hours I was poked, prodded, my hair was yanked and brushed over and over. For a full fifteen minutes Alice made me shut my eyes while she did my makeup. Typically it only took two minutes or less in the morning to get my face on, so I had no idea what the pixie was up to.

"Ok, keep your eyes closed and step." She told me. I felt her holding the dress for me in one hand, and mine in the other so I didn't trip. "Keep them closed."

"Oh come on, Alice! It' not like this is my wedding day or something."

"Oh fine, you can open them."

"Thank you, God. I know what the dress looks like already."

"I know that, I just don't want you to see the whole thing yet, so don't face the mirror. Hold still." Alice slipped a corset over my strapless camisole and started lacing me up.

"You've got to be joking." I gasped as she pulled at the laces. "Alice, I can't breathe!"

"That's the whole point of this thing."

I coughed a few times as she tightened the laces a little more and finally deemed me done. She helped me get the dress up and zipped it shut. "You look so amazing." She sighed. "But don't look yet." She glanced at the clock on her desk. "Give me fifteen minutes and I'll be ready. Do. Not. Turn. Around." She warned, finger in my face and everything.

"When is the dance starting?"

"Twenty minutes!" Alice called back from her bathroom. In between waiting for my hair to set and doing my makeup, Alice had gotten herself ready as well. She had straightened her spiky hair then curled it stylishly and pinned the sides back with silver clips.

I stood in the middle of her room, swaying from bare foot to bare foot waiting on her as she no doubt primped, fluffed, and powdered a little bit more in the bathroom. Within her fifteen-minute mark she was back out into the room. "Zip me up, please?" she asked. I pulled up the zipper on her dress and did the tiny hook at the top.

We finished getting ready; shoes, jewelry and the other stuff before Alice finally let me turn and see myself, complete, in the mirror. "Holy shit," I breathed looking at my reflection. Was that really me? There was no way the beautiful brunette staring back was really me.

My hair was loose and wavy, not a single curl out of place. It wasn't fluffy, like I had imagined it would be. My makeup was simple but done perfectly to highlight all of my natural features.

"You're welcome. You look stunning." Alice smiled at me in the mirror.

"Yeah…wow, Alice. Thank you." I turned and hugged her carefully so neither one of us got smudged or wrinkled.

"Lets go have some fun."

As soon as the words left her mouth there was a knock on her bedroom door. She smiled brightly and winked at me as she opened it. Jasper stood there with a single white rose in his hand, which he offered to her. He looked very handsome in his black suit, the vest white to match Alice's dress, and a black tie.

"Your date is already waiting for you." He informed me, taking Alice's hand and wrapping it around his arm.

"I did that on purpose, Bella. I wanted you to have a little entrance." Alice winked at me again. "Don't give me that look. Go meet him."

I smiled at her appreciatively and left the happy couple to follow behind me eventually. I was sure they would take their time getting to the dance wanting to enjoy a little time alone in the empty, quiet hallways. And by that I mean they were no doubt going to make out for a few minutes in a dark corner somewhere.

My hands shook slightly as I approached the cafeteria, I could already hear the music floating out of the doors. The lights were off and twinkling decorative lights gave the impression of snow falling inside.

But I didn't see Edward anywhere waiting for me, inside or out. For a moment I thought maybe he had gone looking for me and I would miss him completely. But then the door opened and he walked out, obviously searching for me.

I cleared my throat quietly and he looked up, his eyes widening in surprise as he took in everything Alice had done. "You look…just…wow." He walked over, his eyes still looking me up and down. "You look amazing." He whispered, finally stopping in front of me. He took my hands for a moment, pressing our foreheads together.

"You don't look so bad yourself, handsome." He was wearing a black suit like Jasper's except that his vest was black and his tie ice blue.

"This is for you." He took my wrist and slipped a corsage, a simple arrangement of light blue and white flowers, on. In the middle was a small, blue-jeweled butterfly.

"It's beautiful, thank you."

"Not as beautiful as you."

I smiled at his cheesiness, unable to stop the giggle that escaped. A moment later he was pressing his mouth against mine gently, his hand wrapped the around the back of my neck.

"Ready?" he asked offering me his arm.

"Let's get this over with." I took his arm, fixed my wrap, and we walked into the cafeteria together.

For the first hour or so Edward and I walked around mostly, talking to a few classmates here and there and nibbled on the food provided. We danced a few times with Alice and Jasper, Emmett eventually joining us. Rosalie just watched from the side scowling. I had no idea why she wasn't enjoying herself. She was easily the most beautiful girl here, prettier than me and I knew it, and I wouldn't be surprised in June when she was voted prom queen.

But after the first hour I started getting restless and wanted to leave. I hated dances. But Edward was having so much fun I couldn't leave. His attitude was infectious, lifting my spirits. There was a sit down dinner halfway through the dance, and we made sure to get a table of six, just in case Emmett and Rosalie wanted to sit with Alice and Jasper.

But they wound up sitting with Tanya and her sisters. Tanya was obviously very displeased with mine and Edward's new relationship. I caught her staring more than once every time Edward kissed the back of my hand or my temple. He was being very affectionate tonight, and I had to wonder if maybe he was intentionally trying to make her jealous, or if he was just in an overly affectionate mood.

"Having fun yet?" He asked me once we were back on the dance floor with Alice and Jasper. They were busy doing their own thing a few steps from us, laughing and having fun together. Edward and I stood barely an inch apart moving slowly even though the beat to the current song was fast.

"Yeah, as long as you're with me I'm having the best time."

"Good,"

We swayed slowly for a few minutes, simply gazing into each other's eyes. "Want to leave a little early?" he asked squeezing me around my back, effectively drawing me close enough to his body to feel his burgeoning hard on.

"Won't we get in trouble?"

"Did you notice Emmett and Rose leave thirty minutes ago?"

"I guess not."

"Lets go." He took my hand leading me away from the dance floor. Alice waved goodbye, waggling her fingers and gave us a knowing smile.

Once we had slipped out into the hallway, Edward yanked me into the closest dark corner we could find and pinned me against the wall, his mouth immediately attacking mine. His arms wound around my body in a tight vice, further decreasing my breathing capability.

"Hang on," I gasped, breaking away from him. "Alice laced me up into a corset, I can't breathe that well."

"Well let's go back to my room and get it off you then." He smirked at me playfully.

"Wait," I laid a hand on his chest keeping him from descending back onto me. "I don't think we should do this tonight, Edward."

"Do what?" He asked, clearly confused. "We're just making out. I thought we could go back to my room and just chill." He chuckled at the end as the realization of what I was thinking dawned on him. "This isn't about sex, Bella. I don't want to screw you just because I think you look fucking amazing and I can't control myself. You deserve to be worshipped." He cupped my jaw as he finished, staring into my eyes with such earnest that I didn't dare doubt his words.

Tears started forming and I momentarily panicked that my makeup would run, but knowing Alice and possibly predicting this she probably used waterproof mascara. But that still didn't stop the droplets of salty water falling from my eyes onto my cheeks where they no doubt left streaks.

"Why are you crying?" Edward asked, concerned now. He brushed the few tears away that had escaped against my will. "Did I upset you?" He actually sounded scared.

"No," I laughed, and a few more tears fell. "You're just…I can't believe that you're really this sweet. No man has ever been this sweet to me before. It's kind of hard to process in my head that there is actually a man like you out there who…who wants to "worship" me."

"Contrary to popular belief, pretty much whatever shit Tanya decides to spread around the school about what we never actually did that she claims happened, I am not an asshole who just fucks for the joy of getting off. I've never had a serious girlfriend, Bella. A couple flings here and there, but nothing like this." He took my hand and kissed the back of it for the hundredth time tonight.

"You consider this serious?"

"Don't you?"

I was silent for a moment, perhaps a moment too long because Edward all of a sudden looked completely crestfallen. "Bella?" He cupped my jaw again. "You do like me don't you?"

"Of course I like you, Edward. I like you a lot. I've never…well maybe once before, but not with this intensity." I shook my head to clear the cobwebs that had suddenly formed as my brain went off track, "I've never felt this way before. You actually make me feel cared for."

"I _do_ care about you, Bella. I know you've been through hell, and I know you're still going through it. I want to do everything I can to make that pain less, if not go away. But I know it never will. We all had a hard time when Alice's family lost her little brother, and it was months before she was talking again. Jasper pretty much dragged her back from the dead, and she's still living with the pain, but you see how happy she is most days. I just want that for you."

"There is no way you're really this…"

"What? Decent?"

"I suppose that's a good word."

"My parents raised me the right way, Bella. The exterior ass façade is just that, a mask I hide behind sometimes. And since I met you I've been trying to ditch it entirely. I don't want to act like that around you, and frankly I shouldn't be acting like that at all. We're both adults now. We should act like it."

"Well, sneaking away from the dance to go make out on your bed and possibly grope and fondle…"

"Grope and fondle? I was only hoping for some heavy kissing. I like the way you think, Swan."

I laughed quietly to myself. He was such a horndog. "My point, Edward, was what kind of responsible adults are we…"

"I never said 'responsible'" he interjected. "I just said 'adults'. And adults do as they please whenever they please."

I laughed again, this time out loud. "You're exploiting the whole notion of being an "adult", Edward."

"And your point is?" he grinned infectiously at me and I couldn't help but be dazzled. He then reached down between us twining our fingers and kissed the tip of my nose. "Let's go." He whispered, and led me through the halls back to his room.

We managed to get there without seeing anyone or making much noise. He pinned me to a few walls along the way, unable to keep his hands off of me for more than a few seconds. I went with it the first few times, grabbing at his ass and making him hiss in my ear as he attacked my neck, but by the fourth stop I had to draw the line.

"We're never going to get there, and we're more than likely going to get caught if you don't knock it off."

"Buzz kill," He muttered as we rounded the corner and came to his door. He unlocked it and we slipped inside noiselessly locking it behind us. "Ok, off with these clothes."

I turned so my back was to him and he unzipped my dress making it puddle around my feet in a pile of ice blue satin. His fingers immediately begin undoing the laces of my corset. Halfway down he had to stop because he managed to knot it and now we had a problem.

"I'll get it," he told me. But all he managed to do was knot it further. "Fuck, how do you get this thing undone?"

"Let's go in the bathroom, I need a mirror."

I stood with my back to the mirror and looked over my shoulder at the hell Edward had created out of my corset and managed to get it half undone and he finished from there. As the restricting garment finally came off Edward frowned because I wasn't naked underneath.

"Man, I was hoping for a little flesh."

"We'll get there, relax." We were back out in his room now and I was removing his clothes. Once he was down to his shorts we laid down on the bed on our sides just staring at each other and stroking gently. "I like this," I whispered as he traced along my side. "It's relaxing."

"I did say I only wanted to chill, but I wouldn't object to a little of the kissing I mentioned or the groping you mentioned."

I rolled my eyes and repositioned our bodies so that he lay flat on his back and I was straddling him. "Is this more of what you had in mind?"

His hands rested on my hips, "Getting there,"

I shook my head. "Tell me what you want. Or show me,"

Edward wrapped his hands around my waist and brought me down so I was bowing over him now. He leaned up closing the space between our mouths, his hands slipping up my back to tangle in my hair and pull me still closer.

"I could be happy for the rest of the night just like this." He whispered, breaking away.

"I can do this, but you're going to have to flip me back over eventually, my knees can't stay like this for very long."

"That won't be a problem, I can assure you."

To prove his point he flipped me over, resting his hips between my thighs. "Is this good?"

I leaned up placing a kiss behind his ear. "Perfect," I whispered.


	11. The Cullens

**A/N: Chapter 11, revised. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**EPOV**

Bella and I woke up early the next morning, after one of the most peaceful nights we had ever spent together. We both still needed to pack, and we wanted to grab a little breakfast in the dining hall before my dad arrived to pick us up later this morning.

My mom was expecting us all to get back home sometime around one, so she had a late lunch planned. Every time I decided to invite Jazz and Emmett over for one holiday or the other she always liked to make a bit of a presentation at meal times. She always served a warm, welcoming meal. I knew it would be no different with Bella.

Well, maybe a little.

I did at least tell my parents beforehand that Bella was my girlfriend. My mother was so excited she screeched into the phone in her joy. She knew I only had flings throughout my first couple years of high school, so for her to find out that I was in serious relationship, as serious as it can be for a teenager, was like winning the lottery to my mom.

She was beyond excited to meet Bella, to welcome her to the family. And that was where I had filled her in a little bit about Bella, with Bella's permission of course. I had asked her a couple days ago when my mom called to confirm that I was spending the holiday with my parents and not a friend.

"Are you sure its ok if I tell them? It'll make things a little easier if they know…you know just in case…"

"I lose it?" Bella asked, looking up from her notebook that she was highlighting in.

"I didn't want to put it that way, but yeah. My dad suspected something over Thanksgiving when I asked him to bring that Valium over, I never said anything then, but I want to now. I just want to make sure you're ok with me telling them before I say anything."

Bella put her highlighter down on her desk and walked over to where I sat on the bed, bending over some composition paper, my journal open beside me.

"It's fine, Edward. You're right, it would make things easier. But for now, just keep them on a need to know basis, ok?" She actually looked jaded. I couldn't imagine dealing with the stress of losing your family so close to all of these holidays was easy for her. I was just hoping spending some time with my family might do her some good.

But it could also do her harm. I was just hoping that didn't happen.

My dad picked us up on time around noon for the one-hour drive home. Bella and I sat in the back seat alone, our computer cases in the front with my dad. Our suitcases were in the trunk. Bella spent the drive sleeping, her head on my shoulder. I caught my dad glancing at us in the rearview mirror more than once. I had a sneaking suspicion that he was trying to catch us making out, but he saw that Bella was asleep and stopped looking.

"So how is the year going, Edward? Grades good?"

"They're great, dad. I'm top of the class." I added sarcastically at the end.

"Yeah, sure you are. The way you behave…"

"Hey, I haven't pulled any shenanigans since I got there…"

"But," He prompted.

"There's not but."

"I heard a hesitation there, Edward. What have you gotten up to? Sneaking back and forth between bedrooms?"

Busted. But I wasn't going to admit it.

"We spend time together when we're studying."

"Uh huh, I'm sure that's all the time you spend together." He smirked at me in the mirror and I knew he didn't care that I spent the night with Bella, he had no control over it while I was away. I was sure he was just thinking, 'don't get her pregnant'.

"We're not having sex, dad." There I said it, now he could leave me alone.

"I never said you were. But you know our rules, son."

We ended the conversation there. I glanced down at Bella. She was still passed out, completely oblivious to the awkward conversation that had just transpired. I stroked her hair a couple times and leaned down to kiss the top of her head. I caught my dad looking again, and this time I swear I saw him smile.

As predicted my mom was waiting for us when we arrived. I woke Bella up when we were ten minutes away, give her enough time to fix her hair and clear the cobwebs from sleep. My mother immediately wrapped her up in a warm hug welcoming her and telling it was such a pleasant surprise to have her stay for Christmas.

I saw Bella momentarily tense up, whether in shock or from being uncomfortable I didn't know. But she loosened and hugged my mother back thanking her for allowing her to stay for the holiday. My dad and I brought in the suitcases and left them by the stairs before heading into the dining room where my mom was finishing putting lunch out.

Afterward I took Bella upstairs to show her the guest room she would be staying in, although we both knew she wouldn't be sleeping in it. I then took her on a short tour of the house, showed her my piano. I watched her glance over the instrument, her fingers absently skimming the keys.

"Want me to play something for you?" I asked hesitantly.

She looked up, and for the first time today I saw her smile a genuine smile. "Please,"

I sat down on the bench, waiting for Bella to sit next to me. She lowered herself slowly beside me, laying one hand on my thigh. "What would you like to hear?" I asked, my fingers playing over the keys, stroking out a random tune.

"How about that piece you've been working on all semester."

"It's not done yet."

"I don't care, I like it."

I smirked at her and then turned to the piano and started to play. The music flowed effortlessly from my fingers. I had been playing it so much lately I didn't even need to look at the keys anymore. I kept my eyes trained on Bella as she watched my fingers dance over the ivory keys.

I caught her smiling once or twice as I repeated back through the piece when I got to the point where I had stopped. I knew I was almost done with the piece. I just wasn't quite sure how to finish it. The whole composition followed a pattern of ups and downs, light and dark. It was hopeful, yet sad.

I looked over at Bella again as her eyes continued to watch my hands, and it dawned on me. This piece reminded me of her, and I knew in my heart that ever since I had met her, I had been writing it for her. All week I had been stressing over what to get her for Christmas. I would finish this for her. It was appropriate, and she wouldn't have the opportunity to berate me for spending money on her.

When I finally finished I turned to face Bella and took her face in my hands kissing her gently, but with no less passion than I normally would. I felt her smile against my mouth, and she sighed. When I parted from her she was still smiling, and there were tears shining in her eyes.

"That was beautiful, Edward. And also unexpected."

I reached out to thumb away the few tears that escaped. "Why are you crying?"

"Because I'm happy."

"Good, I like to hear that you're happy. My mom needs to go into town and pick up a few last minute gifts and things. Want to go with her?"

"Sure, I still have to get you something."

"So it's ok for you to spend money on me, but not me on you?" I teased. I didn't mean it. Bella smiled and leaned placing a kiss on my nose.

"Don't be a jerk," she told me, and grabbed my hand pulling me up off the bench. "Not when you've been so good at being so sweet."

I had to laugh because 'sweet' was not me. At least not before Bella.

Later that evening after we got back from shopping with my mom, Bella still gift less, and me laden down with all of my mom's bags, we settled down to the dinner my mom had prepared earlier in the day. Bella seemed to have adjusted well to my family rather quickly, but watching her at dinner raised a couple suspicions as to how well she was really holding up.

I saw the distant look in her eye when my mom asked her about and her plans for college. I knew she wanted to go to Harvard just like I did, and study literature where I would be pre-med. But we had never discussed going together.

"Edward is actually planning on Harvard, aren't you?" My dad looked down the table at me with an expectant expression.

"My application is in. I sent it in a couple months ago." I confirmed, focusing on my pot roast. I hated it when he got on my ass about college. We had been discussing Harvard since I started high school, and he knew I was going to be studying medicine and following him, and it was because I wanted to, not because he was forcing me. So it pissed me off whenever he kept bringing it up, like he was making sure I was still doing it.

"But I also applied to a couple other Ivy League schools. Princeton, Dartmouth, Columbia…you know just in case. I mean you should know, you wrote the check for each application fee."

"I do, and I'll tell you they were not this expensive when your mother I were in college."

"Did you apply anywhere else besides Harvard, Bella?"

Bella put her fork down and I noticed she had barely touched her food, but had merely been pushing it around on her plate to make it look like she was eating.

"Yeah, I applied to NYU and UW as well. My parents went to UW." She added quietly at the end, and I reached under the table to take her hand. I knew then that tonight was going to be a long, sleepless night for her.

She smiled at me when my parents weren't looking and I squeezed her hand gently before letting it go. My parents must have got the hint, because for the rest of the meal, including dessert, they steered clear of any questions that might make Bella relate to her parents in any way. I appreciated the gesture, as I'm sure Bella did, and thanked them for it after dinner.

Bella had headed upstairs before me, and wasn't in the guest room when I looked for her. Nor was she in the bathroom. She was in my room, lying on my bed and hugging my pillow, her nose buried in it. I could hear her crying softly even from where I stood watching her in the doorway.

I immediately crossed the room and got up on the bed beside her, spooning behind her and gathering her into my arms. She turned over and buried her face in my neck where she continued to cry until dry sobs wracked her body and she was coughing from the effort.

I heard the door slide open over the carpet and looked over my shoulder expecting my mother, but my father was the one standing in the doorway. He nodded, indicating for me to come out into the hallway.

"I'll be ok for a minute, go ahead." Bella whispered. She leaned up and kissed me gently before rolling over and grabbing the tissues from my nightstand.

I left her for a moment and followed my dad out into the hallway. I made sure I shut the door behind me. "Has she ever spoken to anyone, gotten any counseling?"

"No, she doesn't want to. I've asked her a couple times. She's a lot better than she was at the beginning of the school year, dad. It was back then that she really needed to talk with someone, but she's strong and she got through it. I'm sure it's just being with family that's making her upset, and I'm not blaming you or mom."

"I know, I just wanted to ask. Your mother and I both noticed that she barely ate at dinner and thought there had been something wrong with the food. But I told her it was more likely because of what Bella has been going through." My dad paused for a minute, looking towards my room where we heard Bella still blowing her nose.

"Look, maybe she just needed a good cry. If you're thinking she's depressed, she's not."

"I'm not thinking that, Edward. I'm thinking that it might be good for her if saw a counselor, but if you say she's better than she was three months ago without seeing anyone, then maybe she'll be ok on her own."

"She hasn't had a break down like this in weeks." I told him. I knew Bella was strong and she was going to be all right.

"I trust your judgment, son, she's your girlfriend and you know her well. I just wanted to let you know that are grief counselors at the hospital if Bella ever needed to talk to someone."

"Thanks. If she starts having break downs more frequently I'll bring it up." I turned to head back to my room, but my dad reached taking my shoulder.

"I almost forgot, your mother wanted to know if there are any particular foods that Bella prefers, maybe something her mother would have made on the holidays, something comforting?"

"I'll ask her." I turned back to my room and my dad headed back downstairs. "Hey, feeling better?"

"A little, yeah. I think I just needed a good cry. That's been building up for a while. I've been holding it in."

"I noticed, and I figured that's what it was." I sat down next to her and drew her head onto my shoulder where she sighed happily and cuddled next to me. "My mom wants to know if there any particular foods that you like at Christmas, anything your mom would have made."

"She always made ham. Well, she catered it, but it was always ham."

I smirked to myself. "That's what my mom makes, too. But she bakes it herself. I'm sure you'll like it. She makes green bean casserole, too, and a couple other things. Is there anything you want special?"

"My mom always made chocolate no-bake pie with strawberries."

"I'll let my mom know. Actually, would you want to make it with her, if you know the recipe?"

"I do, and I'll think about it, ok?"

I kissed the top of her head. "That's fine. Are you tired?"

Bella yawned and snuggled a little closer to me. "Getting there,"

I watched as she slowly passed out, her eyes shutting and her breathing evening out until it was deep. Her eyes were still a little red and puffy underneath, and I knew they would be worse in the morning.

After I was sure she was dead to the world, I laid her down carefully and brought the blanket over her so she wouldn't be cold. I changed for bed quickly and brushed my teeth before getting in bed next to her. I spooned up behind her like I had before, holding her close.

There were so many things I wanted to say to her, even if she was sleeping. But there was only one at the forefront of my mind, and it was the one thing I didn't want to say to her when she was asleep. So it was going to have to wait, I just didn't know if I would have the courage to say it when she was awake.


	12. Words

**A/N: Chapter 12, revised.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**BPOV**

I spent the few days leading up to Christmas with Edward mostly, sitting at his piano as he played some of his personal favorites, and some of his own compositions. When he thought I was upstairs resting I could here him working diligently on a piece that I recognized as the one he had been composing all semester. I guess they needed to have pieces ready for performance when we got back next week. But why was he being so secretive about it. I would love to sit there and help him work out tunes, tell him what notes fit, and what harmonies went well together.

Esme prepared a very festive dinner for Christmas Eve; baked ham of course, but there was also all of the classics like green beans and potatoes, she even made fresh brioche bread and cranberry sauce from scratch. I opted to make myself a little sandwich with the bread and ham and some of the cranberry sauce.

As soon as Edward saw my plate, his eyes filled with lust and he quickly copied what I did. It was usually what I did Christmas day with the leftovers from the night before. I always make ham sandwiches around the holidays. My mom always made them the same way, and it was almost like being back home with my own family. It was soothing in a way.

"Is everything all right, Bella?" Esme asked me suddenly after I had taken my first bite.

I quickly chewed and swallowed. Had I appeared sad just now, reminiscing about my parents and wishing slightly that they were alive and I was back home in Forks with them? I hoped not.

"I mean the food, sweetheart." Esme clarified. She had seen the confusion on my face. "Did everything come out all right?"

"Oh, of course. It's delicious. Thank you so much."

Esme smiled at me and nodded, then turned to her husband whom she quickly fell into conversation with about his work hours for the next few days.

"You know, I've never ate my mom's ham this way before." Edward admitted through a mouthful.

"Where are your manners, young man?" Esme chided with a slight smile. "I didn't raise a pig."

"Sorry, mom." But it came out as, "Sawry, mum."

"Chew your food, Edward." She scolded again.

I sat there trying not to laugh as he inhaled the meal in front of him. I was actually surprised that he had never made a leftover ham sandwich before. They always taste better at Christmas, I don't know why. I was enjoying mine tiny bite by tiny bite. I knew there would be plenty for lunch and dinner tomorrow, but I wanted to enjoy this moment as much as I could.

After dinner, which had been eaten in relative silence except for a brief discussion of college once more for me and Edward, and Carlisle going over his schedule for New Years' with his family, I helped Esme clear the table and load the dishwasher. Edward and Carlisle went outside to get some wood for the fireplace in the living room.

It was traditional in the Cullen family to exchange one gift amongst everyone on Christmas Eve. My parents always let me open one when we got back from church. I didn't have anything to give Edward's parents tonight, but while Esme and I had been shopping a few days ago I found a really lovely collage-style picture frame that would fill the empty space in the hallway I had noticed.

Edward approved and told me he was sure his mother could find some embarrassing photos of him as a baby to fill it with. I admitted I wanted to see some pictures of him as a baby, I could only imagine he was just as adorable then as he was now.

"I looked like an alien." Edward admitted as we had meandered around the shop, having lost his mother for the moment. "I had huge eyes and almost no hair."

"I find that hard to believe," I reached up and stroked his thick auburn locks. "You had to have been born with a full head of hair. You have so much of it."

I yanked a little on the hair at the back of his neck and brought his mouth down to mine for a chaste kiss. But Edward had other plans the moment his lips touched mine, and he delved his tongue into my mouth. We were interrupted a moment later by his mother clearing her throat, a knowing smirk on her face.

"Am I going to have worry about the proximity of your rooms while Bella is here?" She asked with her arms crossed over her chest.

"No," Edward and I answered together.

I was still living in that memory when Edward sat down beside me on the couch, a fire now crackling away in the fireplace in front of us. Esme appeared from the kitchen with four mugs of cocoa and handed one to everybody before sitting down in the loveseat beside her husband.

"Who wants to go first?" She asked.

"I'll go," Edward volunteered eagerly.

Carlisle grinned at his son, "That was actually a rhetorical question, Edward. Since Bella is a guest it would be polite to let her open her gift first."

"Oh right, yeah." His cheeks flushed and he smiled at me sheepishly. "Go pick one,"

"Uh…come with me?" I asked tentatively. "You can get yours while you're over there."

We both grabbed a gift with our names on it and sat back down before pulling off the perfectly done wrapping paper. Mine was an appropriate gift to give your son's girlfriend if you were just meeting her. And how Esme even knew it was my favorite was beyond me. Edward must have been sneaking around in my bathroom back at school.

She had gotten me a gift set of my favorite fragrance that included body wash, lotion, perfume, and body mist. "Thank you, this is very sweet." I smiled at her.

"I had a little help." Esme nodded to her son, who wasn't paying attention and was busily flipping through a new, thick book of blank composition paper. I could only imagine the music running through his head that he was dying to write down. His eyes had that feverish look in them, and I knew dozens of new melodies were whirring through his mind.

"I can't wait to get started with this, thanks guys." He told his parents.

We sat around talking about general topics for another hour, sharing a few Christmas stories and Esme told me about the year Edward caught her and his father placing gifts under the tree. "He didn't stop believing in Santa only because we told him that Santa had already been to the house, but he was so busy that we offered to put the gifts under the tree for him."

I laughed lightly, more so because of the red color that was flaming Edward's cheeks right now than because of his mother's story. "It wasn't until the following year that he caught us actually bringing his gifts downstairs to wrap them and then place them under the tree that he finally figured it out. You were…what nine?"

"Ten," Edward corrected, the redness in face growing more extreme.

"You didn't stop believing in Santa until you were ten?" I asked, unable to believe it myself.

"They were good at lying to me and keeping secrets." Edward stated defensively.

"Oh yes, put all of the blame on us making us look like the bad guys." Carlisle deadpanned. "We're the liars and the frauds here." He smirked at his son and then got off the couch saying good night to everyone. Esme followed him upstairs after wishing us all good night as well.

"What the hell was that supposed to mean?" Edward asked me once they were out of earshot.

"I think your dad was just being a wise ass, Edward. But at least now I know where you get it from. Come on, I'm exhausted." I grabbed his hand and led him upstairs.

The next morning we woke up tangled together under his blankets, when his mother knocked and walked in with two cups of coffee. "Merry Christmas," She greeted us quietly.

Edward groaned and rolled over, muttering something about it being too early to wake up. "It's almost nine, get up your tush up." Esme handed me a cup of coffee as I sat up. I'll admit I was a little embarrassed to be caught in her son's bed with him, but we were both clothed, and we hadn't done anything last night. Well, except for a brief make out session that left a dark bruise on my neck from Edward had sucked on it like a vampire dying of thirst.

"How did you know I would be in here?"

"I didn't, I went to your room first to see if you were in there, and when I discovered you weren't I knew you would be in here. Don't worry about it, Bella. Edward knows our rules, although I find it very encouraging. You're the first girl he's ever wanted to have stay over."

"Yeah, he's told me." I sipped my coffee. "I'm his first girlfriend."

"Just proves that there really is a man inside him after all. And that he can love."

I spluttered slightly, choking on my coffee. Esme patted my back a couple times. "Wrong pipe?" She asked, although I think she knew the real reason I choked.

"Yes," I coughed a couple times. Esme waited until she was sure I was all right before getting up and leaving. I was left with the task of waking up Edward's fine, lazy ass this morning.

But as I sat there watching him sleep I found that I didn't have the heart to wake him. He looked so peaceful that I didn't dare disturb him. I stroked a little hair off his forehead, traced the bridge of his nose and the light lines on his forehead that formed in his sleep. He was concentrating hard, even in his dreams.

As I watched him the thought came back to me about what Esme had just said. _Just proves that there really is a man inside him after all. And that he can love_.

She thought that Edward…loved me. Well, I already knew I was in love with him but I had not yet spoken the words to him. I didn't even know if he felt the same way. But if his mother saw it, then it must be true. I just couldn't wrap my head around it. There was no way…was there?

Edward groaned again and this time he opened his eyes slightly, staring at me in his half-awake state. "What time is it?" He mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"Nine, time to get up and open presents and eat whatever it is your mother is making downstairs that smells so damn good."

"Crème brulee French toast. It what she always makes on Christmas morning. We're very traditional around here when it comes to food. And my mom loves to cook for her family."

Edward stretched, moaning as he did so. I watched as his sleep shirt rode up a tiny bit exposing just an inch of his abdomen to me. I licked my lips and hoped he didn't notice.

I shook my head to clear the cobwebs. "Yeah, I've noticed." I commented, going back to what he had said about his mother's cooking.

"I'm sure," he grinned at me and stretched again. His shirt rode up again, a little more this time. Damn, he had caught me staring. "Don't worry, Bella, I feel the same way about you. You know that."

"Uh huh," I finally extricated myself from his bed. "Come on, I'm hungry. And you're mom brought you coffee."

"I love my mom," Edward got up and grabbed the cup his mother had brought up for him. He then took my hand in his free one and we proceeded to head downstairs for breakfast.

After the decadent amount of food that Esme prepared for everyone we gathered in the living to unwrap the rest of the gifts. Edward's parents didn't have much under the tree for themselves, other than the gifts they had gotten each other and the frame I had gotten for Esme as a thank you for having me over.

Beside the composition book he had unwrapped last night, Edward also received from his parents some new books he had wanted and a medical journal from his father that was packed with all of the recent discovers and advancements in medicine and surgery.

My gift to him was rather simple, it was just an arrangement of pictures of the two of us from the winter formal, but I had put them together in a small thin album with the name of the dance on the front and the date. Edward flipped through them, his eyes shining with happiness as he turned each page. Afterward he handed them to his mother who commented that we made such a lovely couple.

"I have my gift for you, but I want to give it you alone." Edward whispered when his mother wasn't looking.

"What is it?"

"If I told you then it wouldn't be a surprise."

"I hate surprises,"

"Just be patient."

Esme told us to go off and relax while she cleaned up. Of course I offered to help, but she ushered me out before I could finish my sentence. Edward led me off to his piano and sat me down on the bench next to him.

"Is this my surprise?" I asked.

"Shh…just listen." Edward placed his hands on the keys and started to play. I immediately recognized the music as the piece he had been working on so hard since September. But this time he kept playing, the music growing sweeter. I sat there, my hands folded, but my fingers were tapping out the rhythm. I watched his hands as they danced over the keys, sometimes looking up to his face. He concentrated on the music, watching his own fingers as they pressed down on black and ivory.

As he brought the music to a close I looked up at him again, and he was smiling at me as he played out the last few notes. "What do you think?"

I reached up taking his face in both my hands and kissed him fervently. "I think it's beautiful. Thank you,"

"I wrote it for you without even realizing for the longest time what I was doing. But as I sat down each time to compose more of this I kept thinking of you and the music kept flowing. You inspired this. You inspire me,"

I got up then, unsure why, and began walking around the room. I felt Edward's eyes on me, following every step I took. It felt as though he was burning a hole in my back. "Bella, what's wrong?" He asked, his voice thick with concern.

I stopped when he took my hands, making stay put in front of him. For a moment I had trouble looking up into his eyes. But I met them, and the intensity of their stare as they bore into my own. It was like he was looking directly at my soul, and while it made me comfortable, I wanted him to see, to understand. To know everything that I felt, that he made me feel.

"I have to tell you something." I breathed.

"Bella," He ran one hand through my hair, cradling me. "Is something wrong? Are you upset?"

"No," I laughed quietly, "Far from upset. I'm very, very happy, Edward. I just…there's something I want to say to you. I'm just not sure how."

"There's something I want to say to you, too."

"You go first," I spurted out. I was such a chicken. How was he ever going to take me seriously?

"I think you should go first. It's only polite." He grinned at me that crooked grin that had first won my heart.

"Ok," I took a deep breath and let it out very slowly. I looked up into his eyes praying that what I wanted to say was conveyed in them enough that maybe I wouldn't have to say anything at all. I was afraid. I didn't know if I could do this. The last time I had opened myself to someone, so completely like I was about to, I had gotten burned. Bad.

And I longed to never repeat that experience. And it wasn't because I didn't trust Edward, I did. With my life. I didn't trust myself. I didn't know if I could say it and actually _mean_ it. That I wasn't just saying it because I was caught up in the moment. Because I _thought_ it was how I felt, but in reality it wasn't.

Suddenly I felt Edward's fingers under my chin lifting my face. When had I looked down? I thought I was staring right at him. And then he was tilting my face and he was covering my lips with his own. His kiss was gentle and tender, and passionate. There was no rush, no pressing need. He kissed me slowly before finally parting, and he nuzzled my neck. No one had ever nuzzled my neck like that before.

And then when he spoke his voice was no louder than a whisper. And it left me completely speechless.

"I love you, too, Bella."


	13. Confessions and Aphrodisiacs

**A/N: Chapter 13, revised. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. **

**BPOV**

I stared up at him in disbelief. How could he have possibly known what I was going to say? Possibly know that I was nervous, and therefore say it for me? Well, sort of. He declared the other half of the admission. The part he was supposed to say after I said it first.

"Edward…I" His finger touched my lips effectively silencing me. He leaned down and pressed another light, chaste kiss to my lips and pulled back grinning broadly.

"Do you have any idea how long I've been wanting to tell you that?" He asked, his smile as bright as the snow outside.

I shrugged. I honestly had no idea, although I had been suspecting that something had been up with him for a couple weeks, I could just never put my finger on exactly what is was. Well, now I knew.

"It took me a long time to realize that I love you, Bella. Everyone else kind of figured it out for me, but it took me a while to see the light. But I do, I love you, Bella."

I was completely speechless. I had no idea what to say to him, other than the obvious response, and even that wasn't exactly fighting its way out of me. Was there something wrong with me? I knew it went back to how hesitant I was about opening myself to being that vulnerable, but I loved him, didn't I? At least I thought I had a moment ago.

If I loved him so much, what the hell was holding me back? Why wasn't I screaming it from the mountaintops that I loved Edward Cullen and he loved me back? Why wasn't I jumping up and down for joy that the most sought after boy in the school, the most available of my male classmates had chosen me?

Me. Plain me. Plain Isabella Swan, the depressed orphan with no social life, and certainly no personal life, was loved by Edward Cullen. I should have been screaming my victory and telling him I wanted to have his babies. But instead I stood there silent, my mouth tightly closed, and my body rigid against his as he embraced me.

I was so fucking pathetic.

"Are you ok?" He asked, finally breaking the thick, awkward silence between us. It might have been uncomfortable, but I wished it would go on forever. I could be happy staying in this moment for the rest of my life, not having to say anything and knowing that I had the love of Edward Cullen. Yes, that would have been enough for me. Wait, would it?

I looked up, not realizing I had stopped staring into his eyes. They were bright green, shining with the joy he felt at telling me he loved me. His arms tightened around me infinitesimally, just enough to make me gasp.

"I'm fine," I lied. He quirked an eyebrow. Obviously it had not gone unnoticed by him that I had yet to respond to his admission of undying love.

"Should I not have said anything?" He asked cautiously.

"No," I shook my head, but then snapped my eyes back to his. "I mean, no it's ok. It's ok what you said."

He let out a gush of air and his sweet breath hit me in the face. "Good, you had me nervous there for a moment. Bella?" He brushed some hair away from my face and tucked it behind my ear.

"Yeah,"

"Are you going to say anything?"

Why did he have to ask that? Couldn't he see the internal battle I was so obviously having right now, and not just inside my head, but inside my heart as well. I wanted to tell him I loved him, too, to shout it out and proclaim that he was mine. But my mouth just couldn't form the words. It denied them exit. They were there, just waiting to be spoken on the tip of my tongue, but my lips wouldn't part. And when they did the thing I could manage was a quiet stutter.

"I…uh…" I toyed with my hair nervously and brushed it behind my ear out of habit.

"It's ok," Edward whispered, and he leaned forward kissing my forehead. "You don't have to say anything if you're not ready yet. I understand. But I just couldn't keep it inside any longer. I had to tell you."

Great, if I didn't feel enough like a douche before he had to go and say that, making it ten times worse. Now I felt as though I _had_ to say it. But then it wouldn't mean anything if there was no feeling behind it.

"Edward…I…I want to, I just…" I looked down, completely ashamed of myself.

I was holding myself back from the most important moment of my life. Here was this wonderful guy telling me he loved me, and I knew this one meant it in the way the previous had not. I knew Edward loved me for me, and not because he was saying it to get in my pants. He really loved me. He wanted to take care of me. But I wasn't letting him. I wasn't letting myself share in the joy of this moment of proclamation because I was coward and I didn't want to get hurt again.

I knew that that was where all of this uncertainty was stemming from. And I just had to keep telling myself Edward was not Jacob. He would not hurt me like Jacob had. He would not take advantage of me, exploit my weakness and use it against me as ammunition as to why I was such a frigid bitch.

No, Edward would not do that. He had proven countless times already that he may not be a knight in shining armor, but he was damn well close. He had defended me when I had not been expecting it, and then went a step further and took care of me afterward, making sure I was ok and I was safe.

"What is it, Bella? Please tell me, you've been standing here for almost five minutes with this 'deer in the headlights' expression on your face. What's wrong? Talk to me." He took my hand and led me over to the chaise where we sat down.

I folded myself against him and immediately began crying into his shoulder. "I'm scared," I finally admitted. "I…I don't know what to say. I want to say it, but I'm just so scared."

"You've been burned." It was a statement, not a question. Like he just knew. How? How does he discern all of these things from me so easily? As if I'm an open book begging to be read? It wasn't fair.

"Yeah, and it was all third degree." I told him.

"Ouch. No wonder you were so closed off in the beginning. Other than the obvious at the time." And I knew he was talking about the then recent death of my parents. "Bella, you know I would never hurt you. And I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did. You know that, right?"

I nodded, but I didn't know if I really believed it. Why was I having such a hard time trusting? _Because Jacob really fucked you up inside_, my head told me. _He took advantage of you at your most vulnerable point and made it out to be your fault, making you feel like complete and utter shit for it_, even though the blame was entirely on him.

I had to realize that Edward would never do that. He wanted to protect me, help me. Make me better. And I wanted to be better. I wanted to be better for him, because he loved me, and I…

"I need…" I started, but stopped. I shook my head to try and clear some of the cobwebs caused by crying.

"What do you need, Bella?"

"You really love me?" I asked.

"Yes, I really love you. I've never said that any girl before. I've never even felt like this before. This is all new to me."

"It's not new to me," I muttered.

"I gathered that. Do you want to talk about it?" His voice was so gentle, so understanding. There was no resentment, no anger. He genuinely wanted to help me. Of course I already knew that from the months we had been together, but it was taking my mind such a long time to wrap around it and accept it for what it was.

I took a deep breath, attempting to exhale all of my uncertainties and doubts as I let it out. I felt my shoulders relax significantly, however that may or may not have had something to do with that fact that Edward was rubbing slow, encouraging circles on my back.

"Shortly after my parents died, I stayed with my dad's friend for a couple weeks. I couldn't be in the house. He had a son that I had sort of grown up with. They lived on the reservation and my dad and his dad would go out together on most weekends to go fishing and they always brought us along. Jacob was always nice to me growing up, he's two years younger than me, but he always like to pretend he was the adult.

"But, shortly after my parents died I went and stayed with him and his father. Jacob and I picked up pretty much where we had left off just before I started high school. We had lost touch for a couple years, in between me being a teenager now and him growing into his own group of friends. But it was like no time at all had been lost between us. He told me…" I stopped, a long breath escaping from my lungs. I was getting to the part that I was most ashamed of, and I almost didn't want to tell Edward about it, but I wanted to be honest with him.

"He told me he had always had a crush on me growing up. He said I was pretty and smart, and he even said sexy. I had heard it all before throughout high school. I wasn't going to fall for it again. But Jacob was my friend and I though he genuinely meant it. He asked me if I wanted to go out one night and he took me to this cliff that overlooked the ocean.

"We sat down and talked for a long time, and before I knew it we were making out. I never wanted it to go down that path, but I was so lonely and missing my parents. I just wanted some kind of companionship, and I told myself I wouldn't let it go any farther than kissing. This was only a few days after my parents had died." I explained quickly, just to give Edward an understanding of the time line. I wasn't with Jacob and his father that long, only a couple weeks.

"The day of my parents' funeral, Jacob never left my side, and even held my hand at the graveside. I thought he really loved me, and when he told me later that afternoon I believed him, and foolishly told him I loved him back. We wound up alone in his room, after his father had gone to spend some time with my dad's other friends that also lived on the reservation. Well, you can assume what happened between us."

Edward nodded, his hand still rubbing my back gently. I took a breath and continued. "It wasn't until a couple days afterward that I realized I felt…wrong about what we had done. I realized that I didn't really love Jacob, and it had been more of knee-jerk response than anything. However, since that first time all Jacob wanted from then on was just more sex. He was a desperate teenage boy who had no idea what love was, and there I was, completely vulnerable and alone and he completely exploited that.

"And then he had the gall to accuse me later on of being completely frigid once I told him I wasn't sleeping with him anymore. He told me to move on, get over it. He used my parents' death against me. He used my depression as an excuse and made me seem like the bad guy. That I was acting all self-absorbed, that I was only trying to get attention."

My voice faltered at the end and I buried my face in Edward's shoulder once more. "And for the longest time I believed him. That this was just proof that I didn't deserved to be loved, that I didn't deserve to be with anyone. And I let that control my life. I'm so sorry, Edward."

He cradled my head against his shoulder, rocking me gently. He whispered words of love and comfort above me, but I didn't really hear them. I just heard the soft, velvet timbre of his voice, and that was where the real comfort came from. I was such a fucked up mess and he deserved better than to get involved with me, but here he was. Wasn't that just proof enough that he would never hurt me like he promised?

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Bella." He told me once my tears had stopped. He cupped my face in both hands, thumbing away the few tears that were still escaping. "Everything that happened between you and Jacob was the result of him. Yes you had a moment of weakness, but you're human. And I most certainly can not fault you for that, because then I would be a hypocrite."

"What the hell did I do to deserve you?"

"Nothing," Edward answered honestly. "I should be asking you that question."

I scoffed, but Edward shook his head, tipping my face up to look at his. "Don't. Let's agree to disagree. We deserve each other, even if we don't understand it right now. I'm sure one day we will."

"You want to be with me after high school?" I asked. I assumed that was what he meant. Unless he was hoping to figure this out before we graduated so he wouldn't have to bother with it once we went to college. But we were both planning on Harvard. So maybe…

"I do, Bella, yes. I want to be with you for as long as you want me with you."

"I want you with me forever, Edward." I whispered, sincerely meaning it. "I…I love you."

The smile that erupted on his face was beyond dazzling. He lifted me up off the chaise and twirled me making me shout in surprise. It produced a smile on my face simply from a knee-jerk reaction. But the more he twirled me, the longer he smiled, the more I began to giggle.

Edward finally put me down on my feet and made sure I was steady before he pressed his lips to mine a deep, searing and passionate kiss that I felt all the way down to my toes.

"I guess we're stuck with each other then, aren't we?" He smiled brilliantly, his forehead pressed to mine, his eyes positively sparkling with joy.

"I guess we are."

Over the course of the next few days Edward and I spent every moment together that we could steal when his father wasn't dragging him off to the hospital on his breaks to have lunch with other doctors and introduce Edward around, or his mother wasn't monopolizing his time in the kitchen. Edward, as it turned out, is an exceptional cook, which he proved to me the morning after Christmas when he presented me with breakfast in bed.

"What is this?" I asked as he climbed up beside me in his bed with the tray. I took the coffee he was holding in his other hand and sipped it gratefully.

"Scrambled eggs that have been cooked in a brioche bed. I used the leftovers from dinner the other night. Enjoy," He handed me a fork and I dug in.

It was by far the most scrumptious thing I had ever eaten in my life. He had mixed some of the ham from Christmas dinner, a few herbs, and a little cheddar cheese in with the eggs as well. The brioche was the perfect, sweet costar next to the savory eggs. Everything was so well balanced and I cleaned my plate, licking it greedily.

"I guess I did a good job." He smiled and popped the last bite of his own serving in his mouth.

"Did you come up with this on your own?"

"No, my mom used to make something similar for Easter breakfast, but it was just an egg frittata, this is my interpretation of that."

"Is there any more?"

Edward laughed and leaned over to kiss my temple. "I can make more tomorrow morning if you enjoyed it so much."

Of course he followed through and made it for breakfast the following morning as well, and I would have requested it again, if there had been any more brioche after that. I was officially in love with Edward's cooking skills.

"So what's the plan for tonight?" I asked as we wandered around the back yard, bundled up against the cold.

"My parents are going to a New Years' Eve party tonight so we'll be on our own to ring in the New Year at midnight. I figured we could just hang out watch some movies. I was planning on making ravioli for us."

"From scratch?" I prompted.

"No, unfortunately. My skills are not that good, and we don't have a ravioli cutter. I cheated and asked my mom to get some frozen stuff when she went shopping yesterday. But I do know a little trick for some really good garlic bread."

"I'm salivating already."

As promised he made a wonderful Italian meal that night for dinner. His little trick, as he had mentioned, was buttering toasted bread and then rubbing it with freshly sliced garlic and tomato, and then melting Asiago cheese on top until it was bubbly. I was forever ruined if we went to an Italian restaurant. No one would ever measure up to Edward.

As an added bonus that got him more points, he made a butter sauce with a little thyme and rosemary in it to pour over the ravioli. If I wasn't careful, I wasn't going to be going back to school five pounds heavier with all of the good food his family was feeding me.

After dinner Edward got out the fondue pot and some chocolate for dessert, but he didn't start it right away. We settled down with some sparkling apple juice that his mother had so graciously provided for us so we wouldn't go looking for the liquor cabinet key, and he put in a movie that sufficiently entertained us for the next ten minutes or so before we were making out like crazy.

I managed to get his shirt unbuttoned and my hands inside, greedily grabbing at him and stroking his chest. Anything I could reach. He had my back pressed flat to the couch and was currently working magic on my neck with his tongue and teeth. So much for the first hickey disappearing before we went back.

We finally broke apart when we didn't hear the movie any more. It had long finished and returned to the main menu for the DVD. Reluctantly, Edward and I got off the couch, grabbing our drinks, and headed into the kitchen. While he started getting the chocolate melted, I sliced up the strawberries and arranged them on a plate.

I had had the funny feeling all night long that Edward was treating this as a date, and trying to romance me with all of the luscious food he was feeding me, and the chocolate and strawberries only confirmed that. I suspected that maybe Jasper or Alice, (or Jasper _and_ Alice) had had a hand in this. I would have to ask and possibly thank them after break.

"You aren't trying to seduce me, are you?" I asked as Edward offered me a chocolate dipped strawberry. I accepted and opened my mouth so he could pop in the chocolate end of the fruit.

"Perhaps," He answered slyly, dipping the strawberry into more chocolate.

"Who taught you to cook?"

"My mom," He placed the last bit of strawberry in my mouth and watched with rapt attention as I purposely chewed slowly and swallowed visibly.

He adjusted himself in his chair and began to look uncomfortable. If he was going to play around with me, I was going to play around with him. But if we kept this game up, the chocolate was going to either end up on the floor with us on the table, or us on the table covered in the chocolate. I knew which one I preferred.

We fed each other strawberries until none were left, throwing each other glances, and sometimes moaning lightly. Edward continued to grow more and uncomfortable, and my smirk got bigger and bigger.

After filling the fondue pot with hot water and soap so it could soak overnight, Edward grabbed my hand and led me toward the stairs, but we didn't even make it as far as the landing before he pinned against the nearest wall and began ferociously attacking my neck.

"Are we going to do this, Edward?" I asked, managing to catch him at a rare moment when his mouth wasn't attached to my skin.

"Only if you want to. Only if you're ready." He panted. God, I love this man.

"I'm ready. Let's take this upstairs before we do this somewhere we'll regret in the morning."

"And I don't want my parents to come home to find us naked on the couch." He stopped for a moment and stared into my eyes. "You deserve better than that anyway."

Have I mentioned I love this man?


	14. Midnight Romance

**A/N: Chapter 14, revised.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**BPOV**

The moment he asked me to come home with him for the holidays I knew this was going to happen. The sexual tension between us had been ripe for weeks. And our make out session the day before the winter formal only served as further proof that we were heading toward this point.

Edward led me upstairs to his bedroom and locked the door behind us. He had had a point a minute ago when he mentioned not wanting to be found naked on the couch the following morning by his parents. I would hate to give them any reason to think I was being ungrateful after everything they had done for me this week.

Edward pressed me up against the wall next to his door, his mouth immediately attaching to my neck. I fumbled through the buttons on his shirt, finally getting them all undone and pushed the material down his arms. We managed to stay separated long enough so I could get his t-shirt and my sweater completely off.

My back was against the wall again before I could even think and Edward started working magic in the same spot he had been kissing before. He had found my absolute weak spot. Now I had to find his.

"Would you let me breathe?" I laughed, trying to push him away a little. He was giving me no room to move, not that I was complaining, but I wanted to get the rest of his clothes off. I had seen him naked before, only once, but still…I wanted to see him naked again.

I'm certainly not a virgin, and I didn't want to jump right into a sexual relationship. I feared I'd just wind up getting burned again like I had the other two times I was with someone just for sex. I knew with Edward I wanted something more. I didn't want to just jump his bones. I wanted to _be_ with him. And that was a first for me.

Most of my prior relationships had been quick, two or three dates. Only a few had lasted beyond a month, (with the exception of Jacob, who I wasn't even considering a real relationship), mostly because I truly hadn't been interested in the guy, or I just didn't want to be bothered making the effort. But Edward was different. He treated me like a real person, one of the few in our high school who actually did. He made me feel wanted. He made me feel sexy. He made me feel loved.

We quickly finished removing the rest of each other's clothes, a pile forming around our feet as we shucked off each layer. It took Edward a minute to remove my bra, his fingers shaking in anticipation. We made it over to the bed, tumbling onto it in a tangle of limbs. Edward reached down and pinched my ass hard enough to make me cry out, although I knew he was just fooling around.

"Will you stop being such a wiseass?"

"Sorry, am I making you anxious?" He teased, lying on his side next to me. He stroked up and down my thigh for a moment, making my leg quiver at his feather light touch.

"No, but you are frustrating me, and if you keep this up…" I never finished my sentence. Edward had pressed up next to me and was moving his lips over mine in the most hypnotic way. I couldn't help myself when I threw my leg over his hip. And I don't think he minded at all, if his deep moan was any indication.

I parted from him long enough to get some air, finally allowing myself to gaze down the length of his body. I let my eyes and my fingers pass over his defined groin line and back up the trail of hair below his navel. His eyes closed as he exhaled deeply.

"Feel good?" I guessed, my mouth only inches from his.

"So good," He threaded his fingers back into my hair and pulled me to him, his hand immediately attaching itself to my breast.

I let out an involuntary groan when his thumb passed over my nipple. Spurred on by my reaction he pinched and rolled my nipple before molding his hand around my breast once more.

"_Edward_," I moaned his name as his lips and tongue worked magic on my neck, driving me nearly insane.

"Feel good," he asked with a soft smile against my skin.

"Very," I panted. I rolled onto my back trying to bring him with me by wrapping my entire leg around him, but Edward had other plans. He rolled us in the opposite direction back to the position we had started in.

Edward launched up at me attaching his mouth to mine and rolled us once more so I lay on my back completely now. My legs immediately wrapped around his hips and he settled his against mine. Moans escaped from both of us when I felt his hard on, on my thigh. He thrust against me a couple times looking for a little friction.

"Patience," I whispered in his ear.

His other hand cupped my left breast and started to play with and roll it around in his palm. I was getting desperate. Edward was naked above me, I was naked below him, and we both knew we weren't stopping this.

My body naturally wound around his. My arms crossed over his back and my legs around his waist keeping him close. We touched everywhere without an inch of space between us.

Edward started kissing up and down my neck. "I want you so bad, Bella."

"I want you, too."

I reached down between us wrapping my hand around his hard length. I pumped him gently. Even though I had done this before for him, I was still unsure of what exactly he liked, and usually I just went with my own instincts.

Edward moaned indecently thrusting into my hand as he thrust his tongue in my mouth. I stroked mine against his, burying my other hand in his hair. He tasted so good. I needed more.

I heard him rustling around in his nightstand next to the bed and broke away from him to see what he was doing. His hand was digging around in a drawer, looking for a condom.

He managed to find one and quickly sheathed himself, unable to stop the groan that issued out of him. He glanced at me apologetically.

"It's been a while." Edward admitted quietly to me, and flashed his crooked grin making me melt below him.

"Yeah, me too." I ran my fingers through his hair stroking it out of his eyes. I leaned up pressing my lips to his, my hands grasping his face.

"I want to take my time with you."

It was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me, right before sex of course, because Edward had said things ten times sweeter in the past few days. I couldn't help but kiss him again, throw my leg around his waist and rid all space between us. Edward rolled us over pulling me across his lap. His arms wound around my body yanking me down so he could kiss me before trailing his mouth and tongue down my neck.

"You ready?" He asked me, his hands on my hips lifting me up slightly.

I nodded without hesitating. "Yes," He lifted me up a little more and I reached between us positioning him properly before he brought me back down on top of him sliding his entire length in at once.

I threw my head back; Edward's name escaping my lips in a strangled moan. I didn't care that it hurt a little I had been expecting it. But I hardly felt that, all I felt was him. All I wanted was him. I gazed down at Edward as he started to move me up and down. Our eyes locked as I rode him, moving my hips in tandem with his.

But the slow pace we were following wasn't enough for me, and I knew from the tense expression on his face it wasn't enough for him either.

"Roll me over," I whispered. "Take me,"

"I don't want to do that, Bella. You're not like that to me."

"I'm not asking you to treat me like that, Edward. I know you never would. And I also know you want more than what we're doing right now."

I leaned down kissing him gently, nibbling his lower lip. I slipped my tongue into his mouth twining it with his. With a moan in frustration Edward flipped us over breaking the connection between us.

I opened my arms to him, inviting him close to me. He slipped back inside me, pushing deep until he was buried to the hilt. Nothing had ever felt so good before in my life. It was as if we were meant to be together, like two puzzle pieces made to fit. I never wanted to let him go.

I wrapped my legs around him holding him tight as he pumped hard. God, this was so much better. The friction was unbearable, his body sliding against mine, the in-out slide of him as he worked me toward release.

"Edward, God that's perfect. Yes,"

He grabbed my hands pinning them over my head. I reached down and grabbed his ass pulling him closer, forcing him deeper. "You are so wonderful," he whispered before snaking his tongue into my mouth.

"So are you. Keep going, I'm so close."

"Me, too."

I could feel it building low in my stomach, the familiar knot of heat working its way down my body. Edward twitched inside me confirming his own impending release. He let one of my hands go and reached between us running his finger around my clit in hard strokes. My entire body bucked beneath him. He swallowed my groan with a deep kiss as he pounded into me.

"I want you to come first," He panted pulling away from me. "I want to feel you." My muscles involuntarily clenched around him and he growled.

A few more strokes and my body clamped down on him, milking him. I wrapped my legs around him as tight as I could as he pumped hard. He was teetering right on the edge. I reached down between us, tracing my fingers up along the inside of his thigh until I cupped his balls. I rolled them in my palm gently as I sucked on his bottom lip. Two more pumps and he exploded inside me groaning in my ear as he fucked me into the headboard. My name fell from his lips as a cry.

Cradling him to me afterward was by far the most intimate experience of my life. I held him for a solid five minutes before he rolled over sliding out of me. I cuddled up next to him laying my head on his chest.

"Can I ask you an honest question?" Edward looked down at me.

I picked my head up supporting myself on one elbow. "Of course,"

"Were you trying to seduce me, or were you nervous? Because you don't need to try and seduce me, Bella. Everything you do makes me hard."

I snorted a laugh as my typical blush flushed my cheeks and I bowed my head in embarrassment. "A little bit of both," I admitted leaning over him and kissing him gently. It turned into a five minute make out session and I knew if we kept going round two was more than likely to occur. But I desperately needed to pee, and I wanted to wash.

"Come shower with me." I offered as I got out of his bed. Edward didn't need to be asked twice. He hopped up scooping me into his arms as he practically sprinted for his bathroom.

**EPOV**

Jesus, what a night. We didn't even realize it was midnight until we heard fireworks going off down the street. Must have been Emmett, he only lived about five houses down, and he had been talking about starting the New Year off "with a bang". What an ass.

We woke up the following morning, after a glorious night together. I think we may have finally fallen asleep around three in the morning, which was when my parents got back because I heard the front door open and my father whispering something.

I wanted to stay in bed all morning, but I knew if I didn't haul my ass downstairs and finish cleaning up from the night before my mom was sure to throw a fit. We had left a small mess in the sink from our dessert dishes, and I needed to get them into the dishwasher stat before she found them.

As I was getting dressed I noticed that all of the condom wrappers from the night before, four I think there had been, weren't in a pile on the floor where I had left them intending to clean up this morning when I got up. Maybe I had thrown them out when I got up to pee after our last round.

I shrugged, not bothering to worry about it. I must have thrown them out, and sure enough when I went into my bathroom to brush my teeth they were in the trash just as I had suspected.

Unfortunately for the other thing on my mind, my mother was already in the kitchen when I got downstairs and the dishwasher was running. I was in trouble.

"Good morning your highness." She teased from where she stood at the counter making coffee.

"Don't you normally call dad that?"

"No, I reserved that title for you, since you seem to think there's a maid service here that's going to clean up after you."

Fuck.

"I am so sorry about the mess, I was coming down to clean it." I admitted honestly.

And then my mom started laughing. For a moment I thought I had entered into the Twilight Zone. But then she shook her head and switched the coffee pot on. "Don't worry about it, sweetheart. I was teasing. I took of everything for you. I actually came in to check on you this morning, and just as I had suspected Bella was asleep with you."

"She has trouble sleeping alone." I explained quickly, although I knew my mom was going to see right through it. I knew they didn't care that I had sex, as long as I was safe about it. I just felt awkward all of a sudden about it, like it actually mattered that they knew, because Bella wasn't just another girl to me. She was so much more than that.

My mom made me a cup of coffee and handed it to me before making one for herself and one I presumed for my dad who must have still been asleep upstairs. "And I cleaned up the mess in your room, too." She added before walking out of the kitchen.

Fuck. Again.

"Thanks," I called, only half meaning it. I sat at the table contemplating for a few minutes, sipping my coffee thoughtfully when I heard a creak on the stairs.

"How many wrappers did you pick up?" I called out to my mom.

"None why?"

I turned, shocked to see Bella walking into the kitchen. She went over to the coffee pot and poured herself a cup before joining me at the table. She kissed me sweetly and wished me a happy New Year's Day.

"I thought you were my mom. She picked up all of the wrappers off the floor this morning and must have picked up our clothes, too."

Bella half choked on her coffee, and it took me patting her on the back a couple times before she regained control. "I'm embarrassed." She muttered, and took a large sip of coffee.

"Don't be. My parents are cool with it. They only have one rule. No pregnancies."

Bella choked again on her coffee. "Lets change the subject." She offered when she could speak normally again.

"Yeah, how about we talk about Valentine's Day?"

"That's over a month away."

"True, but there's this really nice restaurant near here that does a really exquisite tasting menu for Valentine's Day dinner, and you need to book well in advance. Interested?"

"Depends, what are they serving?"

I shrugged, "Don't know. They change it every year."

Bella finished off her coffee and set her cup down. "Sounds good to me." She grinned broadly and leaned in to give me another sweet kiss, but this one a bit deeper than the first. "Now how about we talk about breakfast? How do chocolate chip pancakes sound?"

"Great, on one condition,"

"And that would be?"

"We watch cartoons while eating them."

Bella mussed my hair a little and kissed the top of my head. "Dork,"

"And proud of it."


	15. Valentine's Day

**A/N: Chapter 15, revised.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**BPOV**

Once we returned from Christmas break Edward and I quickly fell back into the rhythm of school, going to classes and meals, studying in the library, and staying up late sometimes in each other's rooms to get through mountains of homework. I was starting to wonder if this was what college was going to be like, and if it was, we had a head start on being able to handle it.

January flew by, and before we knew it midterms were over and February was upon us. Edward reminded me of our Valentine's Day date, coming up in a few days as we headed back to our separate rooms on a Friday evening after staying in the library until it closed for the night to get research done for our term papers in English class.

"It's a formal restaurant, right?" I asked.

"You don't have to wear a prom dress, but you do need to wear something appropriate. I know you're going to hate me for saying this, but you should ask Alice to take you shopping. It'll help if you're unsure about what to wear."

I punched him in the arm. He was damn right I hated him for saying that. But I knew that Alice would love him for it. I lingered as we kissed goodnight at my door. Tonight we would sleep alone, and I was dreading it. Edward had almost gotten caught yesterday morning sneaking back to his room to shower, so we had decided to play it safe for a few nights before sleeping together again.

"I'll see you in the morning." He told me before kissing me one last time. "I love you,"

"I love you more." I reached up and grabbed at his hair, fisting it tightly in my hand. I didn't want him to leave, but we both knew he had to before any teachers happen to come down the hallway and see us.

As expected, I slept fitfully and was plenty eager to see Edward the following morning at breakfast. But to my surprise, there was a soft knock on my door as I was getting up, and I quietly walked over to open it.

"Can I come in?" Edward asked with a sly smile.

I opened the door enough to let him slip in, and after quickly checking up and down the hallway, I shut it behind him and turned the lock. "Are you crazy?" I whispered, watching him slip under my blanket. I got back in bed next to him, immediately curling into his side.

"Crazy for not staying last night. I don't know who I was trying to kid not sleeping with you. I missed you."

Cue the heart-melt.

I felt my lips turn up into a smile and I snuggled closer to him. "Wait, are you being sweet just to get lucky, or are you serious?"

"I'm completely serious." He whispered, "but a little sex would be a nice bonus."

He laughed quietly as I punched him in the shoulder. "You're such an ass."

We lay in my bed for at least a half hour before finally getting up. We spent most of the time making out, and there may have been some hands sneaking under clothing here and there. I was so caught up in feeling his lips on mine that I barely took notice to anything else he may have been doing.

Edward threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt from the small collection of clothes he kept in my room for such mornings as these. I jumped in the shower while he was dressing and put on a similar outfit for the day, since Alice and I would be going to shopping. I shuddered at the thought.

"Excited for tomorrow night?" Edward asked as we headed for breakfast.

"I can't wait. Did you say you've been to this place before?"

"My parents have, and I think Alice and Jasper went one year. As they say, it's nice. You'll like it, trust me."

That made me think of the last time Alice had told me to trust her and I shuddered at the thought of what she was going to try and squeeze me into today. Speaking of which, the little pixie was already sitting at the table when Edward and I walked in, talking animatedly with Jasper, most likely about the upcoming couples' holiday.

"Where the hell have you two been?" she asked as we sat down.

"Sleeping," we answered together. Jasper shook with quiet laughter as he stared down at the table. Alice just smirked and immediately launched into a conversation about having to go shopping for tomorrow night for our respective dates.

"I think you should wear red tomorrow, Bella. You look so pretty in red."

"You look prettier in blue." Edward whispered in my ear, making it appear as though he was just kissing my temple. He grabbed my hand under the table and guided it over his lap where a bulge was beginning to form.

"I think I'd rather wear blue, Alice." I announced, and yanked my hand back before Edward let things get out of control at the breakfast table. Not that it would have been anything out of the ordinary for us,

He was marginally well behaved for the rest of breakfast, except for when he began rubbing my hand up and down his thigh and whispering all the things he couldn't wait to do tomorrow night when we got back from dinner.

I was thankful to get away finally, only so I didn't jump his bones in front of the whole school, but I was not looking forward to the afternoon ahead. Alice jabbered nonstop to the mall, about designs, color, cuts, all the new fashions for the spring. Apparently she was looking forward to more than just shopping for a date night dress.

"So why blue?" Alice asked me as we walked into a store that had a huge Valentine Day sale display in the window.

"Oh, I just know Edward likes it when I wear blue." I mused. I flipped through a few things on the hangers in front of me. I liked one dress, but wasn't too sure of the cut and whether or not it would fit me.

As we walked around I found a clutch and a pair of shoes that I loved, but I just needed a dress to go with everything. Despite the fact that I wanted to wear blue for Edward, I could save it for another time, and found myself wandering toward the red dresses near the window display.

That was when it caught my eye: A beautiful red halter dress that cinched the waist slightly and fell just above the knee. The v-cut was not so deep, but I knew I would be ok with it. I had the perfect black coat back at the school that would accent the dress well, and the shoes and clutch I had already picked matched as well.

"Found it," I announced to Alice, who was just walking out of the changing room. She had selected a black dress trimmed in red lace. It was a perfect cut for her and accented all the best parts of her figure.

"Oh it's perfect, Bella!" She clapped loudly like an over excited fan girl, and quickly pushed me into the changing room to try it on. After she zipped it shut and I slipped the shoes on, I had to admit the dress looked so good on me I knew I wouldn't find anything better.

"Like I said, perfect." Alice told me as she admired my reflection in the mirror.

"I think I am beginning to like shopping." I admitted.

"I knew I would convert you eventually." Alice proclaimed triumphantly.

We grabbed a quick lunch after paying for everything and headed back to campus to relax for the rest of the day with our men. Edward and I holed up in his room to get some much needed homework accomplished so it wouldn't be hanging over us tomorrow. Not that I would have done it anyway, I'm sure Alice was going to be monopolizing my time doing my hair and makeup.

I'm grateful for her, I really am, but I think at this point I can manage just fine on my own when it comes to my appearance. I may have needed her help in the beginning, when my esteem was at an all time low, but I have changed so much in the past months. I am not the girl I was in September. And I have to thank my relationship with Edward for that. If I had never let him in, in the first place, I would probably still be that lost, depressed, antagonistic girl that I was.

I'm looking forward to going away to college with him. I almost couldn't believe it when he told me he wanted to get into Harvard. It's like the stars aligned to bring us together. As we sat laughing on his bed and nibbling on the left over fries I had brought back from lunch, I knew we were going to be together for the long haul in this. I just couldn't see myself with any other man.

Excitement sparked in me as I thought about the following night. Edward threw me a smug grin, and then reached out slipping his hand around my neck and pulled me toward him. A different excitement coursed through me now as we reclined on his bed and proceeded to remove each other's clothes. I hope this feeling never goes away.

**EPOV**

I was beyond ecstatic when I woke up Sunday morning. Not only had Bella spent the night with me, and we had engaged in some rather passionate love making, tonight I was taking her out for our special dinner. She had spent yesterday with Alice out shopping. I felt some sympathy for her when I suggested it, but when she came back with a huge smile on her face and a garment bag draped over her arm, I knew she had enjoyed herself and obviously found something to wear for tonight.

With a sigh I rolled over in my bed to face Bella, surprised to find her still asleep. I could see her eyes moving just beneath the thin lids, dreaming. I wondered for a moment if she was dreaming of me. As carefully as I could I stroked some hair from her forehead and leaned in to place a soft kiss there.

Bella moved subtlety and her eyes fluttered open. "Morning sexy," she muttered, and stretched her arms over her head. I did my best to not watch how the motion lifted her breasts up, but I failed miserably.

"Sorry I woke you,"

"It's ok. I'm actually kind of hungry. Want to go get some breakfast?"

"Yeah, but remember we're going out tonight, so you'll want to eat light all day."

"I can't wait." Bella leaned in and pressed a searing kiss to my lips, lingering longer than she normally did. I could tell she was hesitant to stop, and I didn't want her to. "Ok, we need to go before I start ripping your clothes off." Bella sat up and threw her legs over the side of the bed. I rolled onto my side so she could see I was shirtless.

"I'm not wearing any,"

Bella looked over her shoulder at me with a sly grin. "Don't tell me that, it's too tempting to know."

"I'm hoping on that."

Bella just shook her head and got up heading for the bathroom. I threatened her with privacy invasion if she didn't lock the door, and was surprised when I didn't hear it click. Assuming it was an invitation, I got up and ventured after her, more than pleased to find her already waiting in the shower for me.

We didn't spend too much time under the spray of water, wanting to get down to breakfast before it was over. After throwing her clothes on from yesterday Bella returned to her room to change for the day and promised to meet me in the dining hall within fifteen minutes.

I headed down there and waited outside the door for her, watching the few people that walked in and out. Some had their breakfast with them, wanting to go back to their rooms for some peace and quiet. I was highly tempted to suggest this to Bella, but we had already spent enough time in my room this morning. I was hoping maybe we could go out for the afternoon, maybe take an excursion to a bookstore and hang out there for a few hours before coming back here to get ready for dinner.

"Still serving food?" Bella asked as she approached. I wasn't surprised to see her with Alice and Jasper, obvious late risers this morning as Jasper was still yawning.

"Yup," I twined my hand with hers as we walked in and grabbed seats at our usual table. Everyone who usually sat with us had either already eaten or wasn't coming, and we had the table to ourselves.

Following my suggestion, Bella had just a bowl of Cheerios and an orange. I was tempted to have Cheerios as well, just because I loved them so much and found it comical that Bella and I had that in common.

After breakfast we decided to hang out with Alice and Jasper in one of the common areas and watch TV for the rest of the morning. Jasper unearthed a deck of cards and we spent an hour playing bullshit, Bella winning three out of four hands. I don't know how she does it, because I swear she lied every time, and we all believed she was telling the truth with each card she threw down. It was the perfect, relaxed kind of day we all needed.

Finally Alice dragged Bella away from me to throw her in the shower and do whatever it was she did to Bella that I considered magic. I passed the time getting a little more ahead on my work for the week, putting the finishing touches on a short paper that was due on Tuesday for chemistry, and did the next few problems in my calculus homework as well. It was the one class I hated the most and the one class I was struggling in, although not that much.

Finally Bella sent me a text telling me to get dressed since she would be done in about a half hour. I called the restaurant to make sure we still had our slot for tonight and threw on some clothes.

I had chosen a simple white, button down shirt and gray dress pants with black shoes. Nothing too fancy, like I had told Bella, but dressy enough for the place I was taking her to. I grabbed my grey wool coat and the single red rose I had gotten for her and was keeping in a thin vase. I hadn't gotten her anything else besides the silly valentine I had given her this morning, and received one in return from her. I knew she wouldn't want anything else, and it was the gesture that mattered more to her than anything I could give her.

So with rose in hand, I headed to Bella's room and knocked twice. The door opened a moment later and Bella poked her head out. Alice hadn't done much with her hair, besides curling it and pinning back parts of it while the rest fell down to her shoulders. "You ready?" she asked me tentatively.

I glanced down at myself and then looked back to her with a confident smile. "I'm all set, are you?"

"Promise to tell me if this dress looks bad?"

I laid my hand over my heart and smiled, somewhat mockingly. "I swear on my life,"

Bella took a breath and opened the door the entire way. I almost dropped the vase I was holding behind my back. She stood there before me in the most gorgeous red dress I had ever seen. She accented it with white heels and a silver heart-shaped necklace. In her hand was a simple black clutch and over her arm was the black coat I had seen her wear many times.

"You…just…wow…" I couldn't even form a sentence looking at her. She took my breath away, leaving me speechless.

Bella walked up to me and reached up to straighten my black tie. "You don't look half bad yourself handsome."

I pulled the rose from behind my back to give to her. I wasn't disappointed with the smile I received in return, nor the kiss that Bella placed on my lips before thanking me and returning to her room to put the rose on her desk.

"Lets go eat, I'm starving." She smiled at me upon exiting her room.

It didn't take us long to reach the restaurant, and we were quickly seated since we were a few minutes early for our reservation. The restaurant itself was packed and busy with movement, conversations, and the soft tinkling of cutlery on china plates.

I was thankful when we were shown to a small booth near the back away from the majority of noise. The table was set romantically for two. Only a few candles were lit and two small roses in a short vase sat in the middle. I had wanted to grab my fake ID back at school so I could order us a bottle of wine, but I didn't, knowing my father would find out when he looked at the credit card statement.

While I ordered us water Bella started to look over the tasting menu for tonight. She picked out a few things that looked interesting, and I noticed that a lot of the food was very rich; we wouldn't be eating tomorrow.

We both ordered the puff pastry with spinach and ricotta cheese for an appetizer, Bella decided on the strawberry salad and the braised lamb with roasted tomatoes for the main course, while I got the spinach salad and fillet mignon. We didn't have to decide on dessert just yet, and we knew it was going to be a tough decision since almost all of them had chocolate and I knew Bella wanted one of each.

When our food started arriving we fed each other little bits of it. Everything was delicious, as my mother had promised, and Bella was moaning quietly with each bite. We tried each other's main course, and I regretted a tiny bit that I didn't get the lamb, because it was so tender and perfectly cooked. I hadn't had lamb that good since two Christmases ago and my mother insisted on cooking something new. I had been pleasantly surprised the way the meal had come out that year.

"So, I just don't know what to order." Bella stated as we stared down at the dessert selections.

"Maybe we should order the two that have the most chocolate in them and then just share them." I suggested.

"I have a better idea. Let's order the way you said, and then get them to go." Bella whispered across the table.

"And where would we be taking them?" I asked in the same whispered tone.

"Well, there is this park not far from here, and I thought maybe we could sit in the car with each other and have a little picnic in the back seat? Is that too cheesy?"

I reached across the table to take her hand and brought it up to my mouth to place a soft kiss on the back of it. "Not at all. I like that idea."

So when our waitress came back over we ordered the two chocolatiest desserts on the menu and got them to go. Ten minutes later we were walking out of the restaurant hand in hand, desserts in tow. I knew exactly which park Bella was talking about, but I had a different idea than sitting in the back seat. I would be too tempted to have my way with her in my car, and I wanted to save that for later so I could take my time and worship her.

After I parked the car I grabbed a couple blankets from the trunk and spread over the hood of the car and got up, then offered Bella my hand. She sat between my legs and I wrapped the other blanket around us, our desserts off to the side where we could pick on them.

It was a perfect way to end the evening before we had to head back to the school for the night. The sun was long since down, and a few stars dotted the dark sky over our heads. Bella snuggled a little closer to me as I offered another piece of the brownie I had ordered.

"This is heaven," she sighed. "Promise me this is what college is going to be like."

"I can't, because we have no idea how we're going to be."

"No, silly. I know _that_." Bella grinned at me mockingly. "I mean, when we go out together, promise me that we'll have plenty of moments like this. Just you, just me. Just this," She turned in my arms then and leaned in kissing me tenderly. I let her push me down until my back was against the hood of my car and she hovered over me.

We lay there only for a few minutes making out before the blanket finally slipped and a light breeze whipped around us making us both shiver. It was a good thing, too, since we needed to get back for the night.

Thankfully we never ran into any teachers patrolling the hallways as we snuck back to my room together. I was already unbuttoning my shirt before we had the door closed and locked. Suddenly my phone chirped in my pocket and I took it out to find a text from Jasper.

_Was that you and Bella getting back, or just you?_

_Me and Bella, why?_

_Wanted to warn you before, lots of profs in the hallways tonight, but I guess you two made it over here ok. Alice will get Bella in the morning early, let her know. _

_Will do_

"Who's so chatty over there?" Bella asked as she tossed her coat over my desk chair and kicked her shoes off.

"Jasper, he forgot to warn us about teachers in the halls tonight, but I guess we got lucky. Alice is coming over early in the morning to get you. I assume she's with Jasper tonight."

Bella nodded and reached behind herself to pull her zipper down. I shrugged my shirt off and then walked over to help her. The red dress fell into a puddle at her feet and she was left standing before me in a pair of black lace panties and nothing else.

"You are so beautiful," I whispered to her.

Bella blushed and smiled sheepishly at me before reaching for my belt buckle and quickly undoing it and shoving my pants to the floor. "I had a really good time tonight, thank you."

"I'm glad. Maybe we'll do something like this again next year."

"You think we'll be together that long?"

"You were the one talking about college earlier. Are you taking that back now?" I smiled teasingly at her and watched as a smile broke out on her face as well.

She shook her head, taking my hand and led me over to my bed. "No," she laid me down before getting up and lying on top of me. Her lips ghosted over mine as I began to run my hands up and down her sides, warming her skin. When she parted from me the same smile was still in place. "No," she repeated, "Never,"


	16. A Friend in Need

**A/N: Chapter 16, revised.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. **

**EPOV**

"So, did Bella like her date night?" Emmett asked. He, Jasper and I were in the common area playing poker tonight. We hadn't hung out in a while, mostly because Emmett was keeping busy with sports, and keeping busy with Rosalie in his off time.

"Yeah, she had a great time. I think we're going to do the same thing next year, but maybe a different restaurant."

"I wanted to take Rose out, but she wasn't feeling good. She said she was too "crampy", whatever that means."

I tossed a couple blue chips into the middle of the table as my bet. Unfortunately none of us had enough cash in our wallets to bet with real money hence the plastic chips tonight. "It means she was on her period." I told Emmett.

Jasper turned over the first three cards and I glanced at the two I had been dealt. I tossed a couple red chips into the pot. Jasper and Emmett both followed suit and Jasper turned over the next card.

"Ew, gross." Emmett actually winced and glanced at his cards. "I'm out. You dealt me shit cards."

"You're not supposed to say that dumbass!" Jasper laughed at him. He took Emmett's cards and waited for me to bet.

"Anyway," I said to change the topic. "Has Rosalie decided she's had enough of berating Bella, or is she acting like a bitch in private?"

"She grumbles from time to time, just the same shit over and over." Emmett waved his hand in the air as if none of it mattered.

I was glad he had finally stopped listening to girlfriend and given Bella a chance. They had struck up an unusual friendship, bickering constantly over the most asinine things. It wasn't unsurprising, since they seemed to share the same weird sense of humor.

"Do you think she'll ever stop?" Jasper asked as he dealt a new hand after shoving the winnings over to me from the previous. I loved this game, and I knew if we were playing with real money I would have cleaned them out in just a few rounds.

"I don't know, I think it'll take a cataclysmic event for Rosalie to ever pull her head out of her ass. You know how she is. If she can't get her way she becomes the world's biggest bitch until everyone is as miserable as she is, and only then is she happy because all of the attention is focused on her." Emmett made his opening bet and I tossed in the same amount, Jasper following after me.

"Define cataclysmic," I asked.

"Oh just the normal stuff…Losing her favorite pair of heels, not winning prom queen, gaining five pounds…the normal stuff."

"Right, normal." Jasper rolled his eyes.

"She's shallow, what can I say? But I love her, and I know deep, deep, deep down she has a good heart. She just needs to grow up."

"She needs to do a lot more than that." I mumbled under my breath.

We all still sat together at the same table for meals, and I was growing weary of all the looks Rosalie would throw at Bella whenever we arrived. Tanya had ceased sitting with us, and I knew that had to do with part of Rosalie's temper. She felt that since Bella and I had started going out, Tanya was depressed from "losing" me, and could no longer bear to sit at the same table with her friends.

Some times I wanted to tell Rosalie that if it bothered her that much to just go sit wherever Tanya was now, but knowing that Emmett wanted to be with his friends, she stayed with us. Unfortunately.

A few hands later Jasper and I had the majority of the chips in front of us, causing Emmett to finally quit and we decided to head off to our rooms. We joked quietly on the way back, punching each other in the shoulder and seeing who could hit hardest without causing the most damage. When Emmett landed a decent hit to my kidneys we finally stopped. I was doubled over in some pain, but it wasn't unbearable, and I laughed it off.

"I'm taking one of your kidneys, asshole, if mine are bruised."

"Don't get your panties in a knot." Emmett waved me off and said good night before disappearing behind his door.

"Want to plan some revenge on him?" Jasper asked.

"No, I'm fine. I'll just get Bella to massage my back tomorrow for me."

Jasper laughed out loud. "Yeah, like she'll agree to that."

"You never know. If I promise something worthwhile in return I may get more than just a massage."

Jasper just laughed again and headed to his room. I hated weeknights. I had finally gotten caught last week sneaking over to Bella's room and had to spend one very long Saturday helping to clean the kitchen as punishment. We hadn't slept together since, and after almost eight days of no sex, and not waking up next to my girlfriend, I was getting desperate.

Maybe we could schedule some much needed time together this weekend. Maybe.

By Friday I was getting frustrated. Three times this week Bella and I had tried to get together, even just to study, but each time we were interrupted by another student, either coming into the library and disturbing the peace, or a group coming in needing the area we were in.

We tried to go to our rooms to study together, but because a few more students had been caught at night, there were now some teachers constantly walking the halls. I get that they are trying to prevent some of the more irresponsible students from making a big mistake, but I feel like the rest of us are being punished just because we want to be with our significant others.

_Hey, what are you doing?_

I hit the send button on my phone hoping I got a quick response from Bella. It buzzed in my hand a moment later.

_At the library with Alice finishing up our French project, what's up?_

_Want to get off campus and get something to eat?_

_Desperate are we?_

_Just to be with you alone once this week_

It was a few moments before Bella responded again, and I assumed Alice was teasing her over our conversation. I could just imagine the pixie giving Bella a hard time as she smiled over my texts and Alice being nosy.

_You're sweet. We're going to be here for a while, I'll text you to let you know when we're done_

_Ok, can't wait. Love you!_

_Love you more_

I decided to head to my room and lay down for a bit before Bella and I went out. I was getting a bit of a headache from all the shit that had gone on this week, but as long as I got some time with Bella, I'm sure it would go away.

I passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow, falling into a semi-peaceful slumber, but I was unable to turn part of my brain off, and it was a restless sleep. When I woke up it was close to six, and I grabbed my phone in a panic. Bella had never texted me. I found it very hard to believe she and Alice were still in the library.

_Hey, are you two still working on your project?_

I sat there staring at my phone waiting for a response. It was almost five minutes before my phone buzzed in my hand and I flipped it open frantically.

_No, we're at the hospital_

I felt my eyes widened in shock. What the hell had happened in the last few hours I had been asleep?

_We had to take Rosalie to the hospital. We don't know what's going on yet. We've tried contacting Emmett, but he's not answering. Can you let him know and come over? _

_I'll be there as soon as possible._ I responded immediately. I felt relief course through me that Bella was not hurt in any way, but I felt bad for Rosalie, whatever it was that had happened to her.

I rushed out of my room and down the hall to Emmett's. I started banging on the door, hoping he was there. It was Thursday, and I knew he wasn't at any practice this afternoon.

"What the fuck?" Emmett asked when he opened the door.

"Have you checked your phone at all today?"

"No, why?"

"I just got a text from Bella. She and Alice had to take Rose to the hospital."

**BPOV**

I could care less about this damn project that was due on Monday. I just wanted this week from hell to be over so the weekend could get here and Edward and I could finally find some time to do something, anything, together.

Alice and I had been sitting in the library since classes ended at one this afternoon, and it was now nearing three. We wanted to get the rest of this research done for French class and call it a day. It was a nice day out for March, and I was hoping to maybe go for a short walk with Edward before dinner.

He texted me at one point while Alice and I were still busy in the library and asked if I wanted to get something to eat off campus. I accepted eagerly, but hated to tell him that it would have to wait until Alice and I finished our work. Edward was fine with that and asked me to let him know when I was done so we could go out.

Alice and I finished within another hour, and since dinner wasn't until six, Edward and I had a couple hours to go out and get a snack somewhere. We were on our way back to the girls' dormitories to drop our things off, and then I was going over to Edward's room. I said goodbye to Alice and continued to my room.

I saw Rosalie's door open ahead of me. I was just going to keep walking and not bothering acknowledging her. That was until she doubled over whimpering, clutching her stomach. It didn't matter that she was never nice to me, she was obviously in pain and it would have been unnaturally evil for someone to do nothing.

"Rose, what's wrong?" I asked as I rushed over to her.

"Nothing, I'm fine." She gasped out, still clutching the right side of her abdomen.

"No you're not. Come on, I'll take you to the hospital."

"No!" She cried out, feeling the effects of whatever pained her. I was horror stricken that it may have been her appendix, considering where she was holding her body, and I knew that if I didn't get her help fast she was going to be in a lot more than pain. "No hospital, please…"

"Rose, I have to take you. There's obviously something wrong, or you wouldn't be feeling like this. Let me take you."

Rose didn't say anything, she just nodded and I ran back down the hall to Alice's room and banged on her door. "What's wrong?" She asked in a panic when she opened the door.

"We need to take Rosalie to the hospital, she's in a lot of pain."

Alice ducked back inside and grabbed her car keys and purse. We helped Rosalie off the wall she was leaning on for support and got her out to Alice's car. She whimpered in the back seat all the way to the emergency room, and the only thing we could do to console her was try and get through to Emmett, but he wasn't answering his phone.

When we finally got to the hospital Alice and I rushed Rosalie inside and tried to explain what was wrong with her, but we only knew that she was having pains in the right side of her abdomen. The nurse escorted her inside the emergency room and told us to wait.

We had been stuck in the most uncomfortable plastic chairs for at least an hour when Edward texted me asking if Alice and I were still at the library. I responded quickly letting him know everything that was going on and asked him to find Emmett and get here as soon as possible. Nothing serious had happened, I assumed, because no one had come out asking for anyone waiting on Rosalie. We couldn't even fill out any of the forms because we weren't family, not that Alice or I knew enough of that information about her to begin with.

We must have waited over another hour, amusing ourselves with quizzes in the various magazines scattered around and trying not to go mad with worry, when the boys finally arrived and Emmett went straight to the front desk to demand what was going on.

I wouldn't have put it past him to lie and say that Rosalie was his fiancée just to get some information, but he looked nowhere old enough to get away with a lie like that. He was at least given the forms to fill out for Rosalie because he had more information than the rest of us did, and he sat in a chair away from us filling everything out silently.

"Are you ok?" Edward asked as he sat down next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"I'm fine, a little annoyed with the nurses around here."

Edward's brows drew together in confusion. "Why?"

"They keep giving Alice and I looks like, 'you don't look sick or in pain'."

"Just ignore them. But do you guys know anything about Rosalie yet?"

"No," Alice answered next to me. "We're not family so they won't tell us anything, although I think if they had anything to report they have come out asking for someone. So I don't think they know anything yet. I'm sure if it was appendicitis and she needed immediate surgery, they would have come out and told us the moment they knew, so it must be something else."

Emmett had looked up at the mention of surgery and his face had gone white in fear. "No news is good news right now, Emmett." I said to him carefully. Some color returned to his face and leaned back over the paperwork.

"One of us should call the school and have them get in touch with Rosalie's parents." Jasper mentioned. I hadn't even noticed that he had walked in with Edward and Emmett until he spoke up, and I realized that Alice and I had neglected to do that from the moment we arrived.

"I'll do it," Emmett offered, standing up. He handed back the mostly completed forms and pulled out his phone. I watched him walk off to a corner where it was quiet. I assumed he was calling Rosalie's parents directly, considering the expression on his face as spoke and explained what he knew about what had happened.

"Her parents are going to be here in about a half hour." He said walking back over. "I told them that I brought Rosalie in and I've been waiting for some news before calling them in order to account for the delay. You guys can go if you want, you don't have to stick around."

In all honestly I wanted to go, and not because I didn't care, but because I knew that sitting around wasn't going to speed things up, and certainly wasn't going to make the situation any easier. Since Edward had driven the boys over in his car I went back with him and Jasper went back with Alice in her car.

We didn't discuss anything for the entire drive back to the school, but Edward held my hand in his lap while steering with the other. On the way out of the emergency room Emmett had thanked Alice and me for being there for Rosalie and he would remind her to say something to us when she was feeling better. I told him it wasn't necessary, but he promised he would say something to her.

Luckily we arrived back at the school in the middle of dinner and our absence went almost unnoticed, except for the few teachers in the entrance hall who asked why the four of us were coming in late for dinner and where we had been. Jasper made up a quick lie about being out for the afternoon and losing track of time.

Fortunately our teachers bought it and let us continue on to the dining hall without further hindrance. Jasper continued to try and keep the mood light throughout dinner, but none of us were really in the mood for talking. Edward's phone went off just as we were about to leave, and we all looked up hoping it was Emmett.

"It's just a text," Edward sighed as he read the message. "Rosalie is fine, she isn't in as much pain right now as before, but she still hurts a little. Her parents are going to take her home for the rest of the week and the weekend."

"So what happened to her?" Alice asked, sounding a little short.

"He didn't say, oh wait." Edward stopped and read the new message that he had received. "The doctor taking care of her said it was most likely a ruptured cyst on her right ovary, ow, that sounds painful." Edward grimaced as he finished the message.

"It's no tea party." I muttered.

"Have you had them?"

"No, but my mom did on occasion. She had pain medication for it in case the cramping was too much to bear. Some times she couldn't even get out of bed because it hurt too much for her to walk."

Alice grimaced this time and I knew she was thinking about how intense pain like that would have to be for a woman not to be able to walk. "My mom described it as a sharp, piercing pain, like someone is stabbing you in your…"

"Ok, you don't have to say it." Edward held his hands up, looking awkward and uncomfortable. I rubbed his arm sympathetically.

For the rest of the evening before bed call the four of us hung out and watched TV in the common area, mostly trivia shows to see who could get the most correct answers and it served well enough to take our minds off of Rosalie. I was dreading having to say good night to Edward, knowing it was still more than 24 hours before the weekend.

"I promise we'll do something fun. It's supposed to be a little warmer this weekend, so maybe we can go to the beach and hang out." He suggested as he walked me back to my room.

"I don't really like the beach all that much, how about just a movie?"

"Whatever you want to do."

I shrugged, not really knowing, nor caring. I was up for almost anything so long as it meant that it was just he and I, and nothing or no one else for an extended amount of uninterrupted time. We said goodnight, parting reluctantly, and I watched him walk back down the hall, my eyes on his ass the entire time.


	17. A Little Civility

**A/N: Chapter 17, revised. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**BPOV**

I was tipping sideways out of my chair, and I knew it. I felt a sturdy hand push me back up and then slip around my waist to hold me so I wouldn't fall again.

"Are you even awake this morning?" I somewhat recognized the high-pitched voice across the table, but couldn't place a name to it. I opened one eye to see Alice looking at me with concern. "Why are you so tired?"

"Ask him," and I nodded to my right at Edward, who was eating his cereal with one hand, the other around my waist keeping me steady in my seat.

"Why is she so tired?" Alice asked again, directing her question this time at my boyfriend.

"I don't know, ask her." Edward mumbled through a mouthful of Cheerios.

Alice huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. Edward just started chuckling like a maniac, his hand rubbing my side. I started to feel tired again, and shut my eyes. It was all his fault that I was exhausted. Because Friday afternoon had been a fail for us at getting together, we had spent the last two consecutive days in bed together, getting up only to use the bathroom and get something to eat before sneaking back to Edward's room to get back in his bed.

"Do you need me to feed you?" Edward asked quietly.

"Piss off," I leaned into his shoulder and shut my eyes.

"You need to eat something before we go to class. I'm going to go get you some coffee and something sugary." He got up slowly, after sitting me up, and walked off toward the buffet table.

"So how is it all his fault?" Alice asked.

"Because he kept me prisoner all weekend and wouldn't let me sleep." I mumbled.

I kept my eyes trained across the dining hall on Edward. He was still waiting to get to the coffee at the end of the table, but had a plate in his hand with a tasty looking, sugar-coated pastry on it. I felt my mouth water and suddenly couldn't wait for him to get back to the table.

"Good morning, everyone."

I looked up as Rosalie and Emmett sat down. She had color back in her cheeks and looked well rested considering the pain she had been in on Friday. Emmett asked if she wanted anything for breakfast before he got up and walked off.

"Bella," Rosalie spoke my name like a question, and at first I thought it was Alice addressing me, since Rosalie had never spoken to me directly before. At least not that I could remember. I looked up and did my best to appear awake and interested, although I was fighting to keep my eyes open.

"Bella, I just wanted to thank both you and Alice for helping me on Friday. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been there. So, thank you. And I'm sorry for the way I've acted in the past toward you. I would say Tanya is an influential bitch, but I didn't have to make the choice to listen to her. I'm sorry,"

Rosalie appeared genuinely remorseful for her attitude and actions toward me, and I was never one to hold much of a grudge. "It's ok, Rose. It's all in the past. Lets just move on."

"I'm glad," Rosalie smiled. She turned and smiled brightly at Alice, "because we all need to go prom dress shopping."

Alice squealed in delight and immediately launched into a conversation with Rosalie while I covered my face with my hand and let my head fall forward. No more shopping, please! I begged to anyone who would hear me.

"Uh oh, someone mentioned shopping." Edward announced as he walked back over. I heard Emmett laughing, so he must have been back as well. "Bella looks pissed, so one of you mentioned shopping for something or just shopping in general." He teased. "Coffee. Drink."

I sat up and took the steaming cup from him and started picking apart the pastry he had brought back for me as well. I sipped the hot liquid for several minutes before finally taking a bite of the sweet food.

"Feel better?"

I nodded and continued to nibble on my breakfast. My Cheerios had long since become soggy, but that wasn't stopping Edward from eating them anyway. He slurped the cereal down like it was nothing, encouraging me to eat faster since it was almost time for class. I grabbed an apple on the way out when the bell rang for first period hoping to get the chance to eat it at some point this morning.

Alice began laying into me about the prom dress comment Rosalie had made at breakfast, and I admitted she had a good point, and that we did need to go out sooner rather than later. But I already had a dress hanging in my closet that I was determined to wear no matter what the other two fashionistas said.

I fought my way through the day, counting the minutes until my last class ended and I could go lay down for a while before dinner. I just wasn't expecting Edward to ask if he could lay down with me. He looked beat, and I wondered what had happened in his last class to zap his energy from the whole day.

"I just spent the last hour and a half performing, I'm exhausted." He yawned hugely as he pulled off his uniform pants and shirt, climbing into my bed in just his t-shirt and shorts.

"Performing?" I asked, slipping in next to him.

"We had to perform the pieces we've been working on all semester, just for practice right now. But today my professor wanted to hear the piece I've been writing since Christmas, and then preceded to have me play it several times as an example to the class, and we sat there critiquing it for the rest of the class. I'm so…"

"Tired?" I snuggled up to him laying my head on his chest and draped an arm across his torso.

"My brain is fried. If I can't play that piece by memory after today I'll cut my hands off."

"You can't do that. I need those hands." I grabbed one and laced our fingers together.

"And what do you need them for?" Edward asked, rolling on his side so he was facing me.

"Oh, you know, this and that."

Edward grinned broadly, and wrapped an arm around me pulling me flush against his body as he grabbed the blanket at the same time and pulled it over our heads.

Fortunately the rest of the week flew by, since the semester was winding down now and we only had two months left. It had never really hit me before, but I suddenly realized that this was my last year of high school. I would be graduating in two months. I had a momentary panic attack about what I was going to do once school was over, but then remembered that both Edward and I had been accepted to Harvard and hopefully we would be living near each other in the dorms.

By Saturday I was dreading the upcoming shopping trip with Alice and Rosalie. Not because Rosalie was going. Surprisingly, throughout the week she had been very civil toward me. Not bubbly like Alice, or desperately trying to be my new best friend, but we shared many conversations together at meal times, and she even started showing up with Emmett the couple nights we all hung out in the common room to study or just do whatever.

It was fun to watch Emmett try and teach her to play pool, and in the end Rosalie opted to observe, not wanting to break a nail. But I gave her credit for trying and actually showing her face instead of holing up in her room, or hanging out with Tanya.

I didn't hate Tanya, but I didn't like her either. We hadn't heard so much as a peep from her since the beginning of the school year, but that didn't stop her from throwing nasty glances at me during meals or whenever we passed each other in the hallway. Ever since Edward and I had become an official thing her attitude toward had been nothing short of hostile. But she had never acted on any thing she may have been feeling.

I didn't want to live with the fear that she was waiting for an opportune moment to fuck up our lives, but I couldn't shake the feeling. I was waiting for the other shoe to fall in that department, and I didn't know where or when it would hit.

My concern for the moment was the shopping trip that Alice, Rosalie and I were now driving to, in Rosalie's BMW no less. The two girls in the front chatted endlessly about the newest styles of dresses and what cuts would be deemed appropriate for the school while still being fashionable.

I sat in the back holding on to the leather seats and trying not to slide as the car weaved its way expertly through lunchtime traffic in the middle of the city. I let out the breath I had been holding the entire time when Rosalie finally parked and announced we had arrived at the boutique.

The reason I wasn't looking forward to this was because I knew Alice or Rosalie, or both more likely, were going to pressure me into buying a dress when I didn't need one, and I wasn't wiling to put up with it. I wanted to wear the green dress hanging in my closet, and I didn't care if it didn't have a low cut neckline, and wasn't flowing like most prom dresses are. I loved it and that was all that should have mattered.

I did need shoes and a bag, and I wouldn't object if I found some nice jewelry, but I was really here just to give my opinion for the other two and help out as they would undoubtedly take hours trying on different dresses until both were satisfied.

"So have you seen anything you like yet, Bella?" Rose asked as she grabbed a couple different dresses at once, all different colors.

"I have a dress already," I admitted finally. Rose gaped at me. "I actually bought it a while ago, before I even came to the school, and I've been saving it."

"What's it look like?"

"Green, with black roses on it. It's nice."

"What's the shape like?"

"Uh…I don't know any terminology. It falls to my knees, it comes in at the waist, and it has a scoop neckline. It's pretty and I like it."

"Has Alice seen it?"

"Have I seen what?" Alice asked as she appeared out of nowhere. Her hands were full of crinoline, tulle, and all different shiny colors.

"Bella's dress that she already has."

"Oh yeah, the green party dress, right?"

"You can't wear a party dress to the prom." Rosalie exclaimed. She yanked a flowing white dress down from a rack and handed it to me. "Try this,"

"Thank you, really, but I am going to wear my dress. Look, my mom got it for me to wear for my eighteenth birthday, and I never had the chance, so I have been saving it for prom."

Rosalie hung the white dress back up and looked at me apologetically. "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"It's ok," I told her. "My dress means a lot to me and I want to wear it. I think once you see it you'll like it. I already know what I want to wear with it to make it more prom appropriate, ok?" I looked at both of them and they nodded.

The afternoon was less shaky after that and while Rose and Alice zipped themselves into a dozen dresses each, I spent the time trying on different black heels to see if I could find anything I liked. I finally found a pair with ruffles on the heels that matched a nice little black clutch I had grabbed when we walked in. I was thrilled to find something pretty, but I wouldn't admit it to my shopping companions.

I was relieved when they finally settled on their dresses, Alice having picked a strapless, short purple dress that zipped in the front, and Rosalie a long, flowing blue dress with thin shoulder straps and a slightly revealing neckline. I thought both were very pretty and appropriate for each girl.

We headed back over to shoes where Alice found a pair of silver heels and Rosalie gold ones. They each picked out a clutch that matched their dresses, and we finally headed over to jewelry. Rosalie decided to stick with the gold and found a pretty layered gold necklace. Alice picked out a purple ring and a silver necklace, while I found a nice pair of black earrings and a pearl bracelet with a black bow.

We grabbed a quick lunch of burgers before heading back to campus, exhausted from the afternoon's excursion. But as we passed a bookstore, I begged Rosalie to stop, and was overjoyed when she pulled into the parking lot. I jumped out and ran to the door, Alice and Rosalie calling me a dork as they walked up behind me. While they each grabbed a coffee, I wandered off to the journals, looking for something nice to give Edward.

We had made things official between us back in November shortly after Thanksgiving and we would be together six months in a few weeks. I wanted to celebrate this accomplishment because it meant a lot to both of us for the same reasons. Edward had been working so hard lately on his compositions, and although I knew he would be going to school for medicine, music was always going to be such a passion for him.

I looked through the music themed journals trying to find something both Edward-like and slightly me as well. I wanted him to know that I had put a lot of thought into this gift, and that it was as much for him as it was for me. He mentioned a lot that he composed his music for me and because of me. I was his muse, so to speak. Whenever he was having trouble getting a certain sound out he thought of me and suddenly the music seemed to flow from his fingertips.

"What exactly are you looking for over here?"

"Holy shit!" I hissed and turned around, beyond shocked to see Edward standing behind me. "What the hell are you doing here?" I whispered, I stood up on my tiptoes and kissed him in greeting.

"It's nice to see you, too." He kissed me back. "I'm here with Jazz, he's looking for a new CD that came out last week, and apparently this place has it. I guess I just tagged along to get out of the school. But it's worth it to find you here." He slipped his arms around my waist and pulled me close enough to him to feel the bulge at the front of his jeans.

"Put that away for now," I chided him. "Not here."

Edward just pulled me closer, pressing his erection into my center and nuzzled my neck until I was almost going crazy with the heat generating between us. "We're in public and there are children present." I reminded him as he started kissing my neck.

"You are such a buzz kill, you know that."

"Haven't we had enough sex over the last week to satisfy you?"

"Never," He grabbed my hand and started to pull me away from the journals. I glanced back at them, frustrated that I hadn't found anything. Edward guided me through the store to the music section and began glancing over titles. I remained fixed to his side, browsing over whatever he was looking at, and then I saw it.

A leather bound composition journal. I hesitated in pulling it off the shelf so I could flip through it and see what the pages were like, I didn't want to tip Edward off to my plan. Thankfully at that moment he mentioned wanting to go find the bathroom and walked off. I immediately took the journal down and sat in a chair to begin examining it.

It was a refillable notebook that used standard composition paper, but here was also a place to put a pen, or pencil and even a notes section in which to scribble down ideas. I thought it was perfect, but it was pricy. I considered asking if it could be held for a couple days since I didn't have enough money on me now to buy it, but I knew I would forget if I didn't buy it now.

I didn't know how much longer Edward would be in the bathroom for, so I went up to the checkout counter and pulled out my credit card that I hardly ever used and bought the journal. It was on the large side, which was going to be good for Edward, but bad for me because now I couldn't hide it.

I went in search of Alice and found her and Rosalie in the romance section pouring over a sex book, giggling. What a surprise. Jasper was nowhere to be seen, so I assumed he was still in search of his CD.

"Hey, did you know Jasper and Edward are here?" I asked walking up to them.

"Yeah, Jazz is buying some music, why?"

"Can you hide this in my bag, I may be going back with them, and I don't want Edward to see it."

"Is it for him?" Rosalie asked putting the book back and taking down another.

"Yeah," Rosalie eagerly started flipping through the sex book in her hands, looking a little too excited for me to want to be standing next to her. "What are you looking at?"

"Oh, something I may get for Emmett for our anniversary. He's been complaining about boring sex, and I wanted to get him this as a joke/insult." Rosalie grinned broadly at us before wandering off to find the checkout counter.

"Should we be worried about her?" I asked Alice seriously.

"No, we should be worried about Emmett. I'll take care of this." She took the journal from me, "What did you get him anyway?"

"A new journal for his music. I thought it would be something nice since we'll have been together six months in a few weeks."

"Oh that's right, I forgot! I really am so proud of you and Edward. You're so great for each other in so many ways."

"Thanks, Alice, I appreciate that."

"No problem, now go find him because we'll all be heading back soon."

Edward was back in the music section, still browsing over the selection of books, and he turned when he heard me approaching. "Where have you been?"

"I went to find Alice and Rosalie, they're ready to leave. But I think I'll go back with you and Jasper."

"What about your stuff from shopping?"

"I can grab it when we get back. It's just shoes and jewelry, nothing special."

"But you still won't let me see it, right?"

"Nope," I looped my arm through his as we headed for the exit and leaned up to kiss his cheek. "You're just going to have to wait until the end of May."

"Prom is still that far away?"

"It's the middle of April, Edward. It's only five weeks. Besides, our six-month anniversary is in a couple weeks."

"I know, I already made us a dinner reservation with my parents that weekend."

I beamed at him, number one for remembering, and number two because I was actually excited to have dinner with his family again. But this time I was going to be seeing his parents under the circumstance of their son's significant other. At Christmas we had been officially dating, but we hadn't labeled ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend yet. It wasn't until we had gotten back from Christmas vacation that we confirmed titles.

"What if they don't like me?" I teased. We had stopped at Jasper's car waiting for him to appear with Rosalie and Alice.

Edward just chuckled and kissed the top of my head. "They love you, Bella. But not as much as _I_ love you."

I looped my arms around his neck, one hand burying itself in his hair and yanking, then stood up again on my toes to press a hard kiss to his lips. "I love you, too."


	18. Six Month Anniversary

**A/N: Chapter 18, revised.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. **

**EPOV**

Three weeks ago when I told Bella we would be having dinner with my parents for our six-month anniversary, I thought she would be the one freaking out. Nope. She was cool, calm and collected about the how ordeal. She had the "perfect outfit" picked out, thanks mostly to Alice, and she couldn't wait to see my parents again.

I, on the other hand, was a mess. I had never brought a girl home, as my official girlfriend, which Bella had not been over Christmas, and then tell my parents she was my girlfriend. Let alone, did I ever call a girl my girlfriend in front of my parents. This was just opening a whole new can of awkward for me.

I knew my parents already loved Bella, and my mother was so welcoming to her so I knew the actual act of bringing Bella home for dinner wasn't going to be an issue. It was when I told my parents that Bella and I were an official thing now that was scaring the shit out of me. I could only imagine the reaction my mother would have.

Either she would start jumping up and down, clapping and laughing like Alice does when she's excited, or she would make some comment about knowing the whole time this would happen and begin peppering Bella with thousands of questions.

Whatever, I could deal with either scenario, I just hoped fervently that neither one actually happened.

Bella and I were leaving campus tomorrow morning, Saturday, a little early since it was going to take a couple hours to get to my house, and that way we could stop for something to eat and coffee if it was necessary. Knowing my mom, since it was a special night because not only was I coming home, but Bella was also going to be with me, she would make a lavish meal, or have it catered. Either way, there would still be too much food for four people.

So I spent Friday finishing up my homework for the weekend, putting the finishing touches on my last term paper, finished the last chapter in the book we were currently studying in English, and typed up all of my notes from my other classes. I was bringing my composition home with me so I could work out the last bit of it on my own piano, and if I was lucky, Bella would sit with me and I wouldn't have to worry about inspiration. She was all I needed.

We had made the decision to sleep in our own beds, alone, Friday night, because we knew we would be sharing my bed at my parents' house, despite if they said anything against, although I doubted they would. As I have been told in the past, they have only rule: Don't get her pregnant.

So that naturally broke down into 'always use protection', but that was my father's way of telling me to wrap it. Which I always did, every time. Sort of. It helped that Bella was on birth control and she tracked her period like a mad woman possessed. If she was even a second late she would freak out. Ok, no she didn't, she'd wait until she was twenty-four hours late and then freak out.

And of course we had to get her a whole bar of chocolate and make her eat it before she would calm down, and then lo and behold that night she would get her period. Her stress made me stress, and it was no small thing to stress over, but she needed to calm down and not jump to the worst conclusion possible.

I managed only a few hours of sleep that night and woke up late the following morning. It wasn't the biggest deal in the world. If we didn't get to my parents' house until dinner I knew my mother wouldn't be that upset. Bella got up late as well, having not slept at all. We had spent so many nights together up till this point it was becoming more and more difficult for her to sleep alone, especially if she had nightmares.

"Feeling ok?" I asked her, helping her into the light coat she had picked for the day. It was getting warmer out now that it was May, but it was still cool on some days.

"Yeah, just exhausted." She yawned hugely stretching her arms up making her shirt ride up just a bit revealing a sliver of her creamy skin. I swallowed visibly and she caught me, and she winked. She had done it on purpose. This was going to be a long day.

"How long does it take to get there?" she asked as we walked out to my car.

"A couple hours, we can stop for coffee if you need it."

Bella nodded vehemently. "Please,"

"You didn't have nightmares last night, did you?"

"No, I didn't sleep."

"Me either, well…not really."

Bella offered me a small smile, her hands smoothing out the front of her skirt. For the first time I looked her up and down completely. She had left her coat unbuttoned over her outfit for the day and she was wearing a multicolored tiered skirt, cream short-sleeved top and a burgundy scarf that matched her skirt. She kept her jewelry simple, just a bow-shaped ring and red flower earrings, and a thin cream-colored headband with tiny roses. She had chosen practical brown flats to complete her pretty little outfit. I thought she looked perfect. She had nothing to worry about.

"Do I look all right?" She asked, noticing that I was appraising her.

I wrapped my hand around the back of her head, threading my fingers in her hair and placed the softest, most tender kiss on her forehead. "You look perfect." I told her, and then raised her chin so I could place another kiss on her lips. "How do I look?"

Bella's eyes raked up and down my form, taking in the long sleeved blue button down that I had chosen, the dark wash jeans and finally my all black Converse high-tops. "Like sex on legs," She breathed.

Good answer, Swan.

I smiled appreciatively at her response and opened the passenger side door for her. We spent the first half of the drive just talking nonsense back and forth, picking out things we saw as drove and making asinine comments on them. I enjoyed Bella as a passenger, she knew how to make long, unbearable drives, bearable. And she was fun to have in the seat next to me.

We stopped for coffee and a light snack about a half hour from my house, only since my stomach was making protesting noises and Bella needed a quick bathroom break. For the rest of the drive we listened to the radio and Bella asked me questions about my childhood, ones she hadn't gotten around to asking yet in the six months we had been together.

Mostly she asked about what my favorite places to hide or play were, did I have a tree house growing up; she did. We quizzed each other on our favorite TV shows from our childhood, and were still laughing about the good memories of Saturday morning cartoons when we walked up to my parents' door.

"Edward, it's so good to see you again so soon, isn't spring break next week for you two?" Esme asked as she let us in.

"Yeah, so we'll be back again next Friday." I confirmed.

Esme hugged Bella next and took her hand leading her into the house telling her it was so nice to have her over again. Bella smiled at me over her shoulder as she took her coat off and hung it up. I glanced up and down the outfit she had picked for tonight once more. She was so beautiful, and she was all mine.

For the remainder of the afternoon Bella was kept occupied in the kitchen by my mother constantly peppering her with questions about school and college. I could hear Bella gleefully boasting about Harvard and how she had received a full scholarship. I had as well, but my parents already knew about that. I knew Bella was very proud of herself for what she had achieved, and we had even more good news to share with my parents at dinner, other than the fact that we were celebrating six months being together.

I caught up with my dad playing chess and talking medical schools that he thought I should consider come my junior year of college. I couldn't believe he was already doing this to me, but he always told me 'fortune favors the prepared mind'. It was smart to consider them now so that I knew what to work towards should I choose a more prestigious school.

"If you do plan on staying on at Harvard for medical school, which is a good choice, try and take some classes from Eleazar Denali. He is a close friend of mine, and a very well known medical professor. He can teach you a lot."

"I'll remember that," I responded quietly. I was trying to figure out my next move. I was only a few moves away from claiming checkmate, and I didn't want my dad to know it. And since he had been talking this whole time and not really paying much attention to the board, I think I had this game in the bag.

I captured his last standing pawn and placed it off to the side. "You're getting very good at this." He commented, moving his knight.

"I'm trying to teach Bella, but she has no patience for it. She can kick my ass at pool though."

"Language, Edward." Carlisle reprimanded me.

"Oh come on, I can't even say that?" I exclaimed, looking at him dumbfounded. He pointed down to the board telling me to pay attention there and that it was also my move. I glanced at the pieces and smiled to myself internally. I moved my queen a few spaces forward, and glanced up at my father, "Checkmate,"

For a moment Carlisle looked shock, and then nodded and smiled at me appreciatively. "Very good, Edward."

"I'm going to go check on Bella, make sure mom hasn't driven her crazy yet."

"Do you want to play another game?"

"Sure, set it back up." I got up and wandered toward the kitchen, attracted to the smell of pasta sauce and garlic. "I smell something yummy." I whispered in Bella's ear as I wrapped my arms around her waist, burying my nose in her hair.

"That must be the bread in the oven."

"No I think its you," I inhaled again, my hand moving up her body a little until it was caressing the underside of her breast.

"Do you really think that's a good idea right now?" She breathed.

"Mm hm," I whispered to her, totally lost in the smell of her. It was sweet, slightly floral, and all Bella. But then I heard my mother coming back in from the dining room and we quickly broke apart. I moved to Bella's side to make it look as though I had been in here helping her.

"So you beat your father again?" Esme asked as she grabbed some plates from the counter.

"Because I'm better than him." I quipped back just as she walked back out to the dining room, "I'm smarter than him, too, and he knows it." I whispered to Bella, "He just doesn't like to admit it to himself."

Bella giggled next to me and dumped some more fresh Romaine lettuce into the salad bowl. "Is medical school really what you want to do?" She asked.

"Definitely, and I made that decision on my own. My father didn't have a hand in it. He even told me when I entered high school to start thinking about college and what I wanted to do, and at first I thought it would be music, so I joined band. And although I love the piano with all my heart, and I stayed in band all three years of high school, when I was mainstream, I really got into histology and chemistry and realized I wanted to be a surgeon like my dad. I had spent a lot of time at the hospital with him whenever he brought me around my junior year to meet some of his colleagues. I helped him out with some of his paperwork, too when he would come home late and need it all organized for the next day. I started to learn terms and methods and procedures from him, and I really got into it. So I knew going into my senior year that I was applying to Harvard and I wanted to go on to medical school after that."

"That's really admirable, Edward."

"So what made you want to go to college to study literature?"

"My mom would always read a book to me before bed when I was growing up. She stopped around fourth grade when I would stay up reading on my own. By then I had moved on to actual novels for my grade level and not just stories. But we had a tradition together, we would take a weekend here and there and sit around with each other just reading. I love classic literature, you've seen my personal library. But I want to know more about it, to know where the greats got their start, what inspired them, what makes classic literature classic. I want to go back and study the first stories to ever be published. I love books, and I love to read, and I know my mother has more to do with that, always encouraging me to read growing up. We didn't have video games in my house, but we had tons of books."

"What do you want to with it?" I grabbed a piece of cheese from the cutting board and popped it in my mouth. I was starving.

"I was thinking of going into editing, but I'm not entirely sure yet. I know I want to get a Master's, and eventually a PhD, but that's way off into the future."

"So, do you want to sleep here tonight, or do you want to go back to campus?"

"You talked to the dean, how much leave time did he say we could have?"

"Till tomorrow night. We can just hang here for the day tomorrow."

"I don't have any other clothes," Bella looked down the front of her outfit.

"I had Alice pack a small bag for you and I put in my car yesterday."

Bella punched my shoulder playfully, "You're such a presumptuous sneak," she muttered.

"But you know you love me,"

"I do," Bella leaned over and stood up a little on her toes to kiss me. After a moment she put the knife down she had been using and turned into me fully, looping her arms around my neck. I wrapped mine around her waist, kissing her back passionately.

We broke apart when my father cleared his throat in the doorway. We smiled sheepishly at each other before Bella turned back to the counter to help finish dinner and I followed Carlisle back out into the living room.

"She seems very good for you, Edward."

"She is, and we're both going to Harvard in the fall."

"That's excellent, what is Bella intending on studying?"

"Literature, although she's not entirely sure what to do with it yet."

"There's plenty of time for that. It's been how long since you two have been together?"

"_Together_, almost seven months, but _official_, it's actually our six month anniversary today."

"I didn't know there were different terms now," Carlisle muttered as we sat back down at the chess table, "But that's excellent, Edward. She's very sweet, and she seems so much better than she was back in November and December."

I nodded, making my first move, "Yeah, it's taken some time, but she's finally broken out of it mostly. There are still some subjects that are touchy for her, but she brings her parents up a lot of the time without getting emotional. At first she thought not feeling choked up when she talked about them meant she was betraying their memory, but I told her it was because she was beginning to heal, and her parents would have wanted her to be able to talk them again without feeling pain."

"That was a wise thing to say to her, how did she take it?"

"It helped to snap her back."

We continued the game in silence after that, waiting for Esme or Bella to announce dinner. We had almost finished the game when Bella finally walked in and told us dinner was on the table. I had been looking forward to it since I smelled the pasta sauce in the kitchen.

However, my mother had tried something new, and it was not pasta. She had made roasted chicken and was serving it over garlic toast with roasted tomatoes and mozzarella cheese and spinach, all melted together in a delicious, gooey pile. I dove right in.

"Hungry much?" Bella teased.

"Just a little," I muttered, my mouth full.

"Bella was mentioning in the kitchen some good news you two had to share. I hope it's not what I'm thinking." Esme glanced down at the table at me where I was already working on my second helping.

"No," we both said together, knowing what she meant. Bella beamed at me before turning back to my parents.

"I'm valedictorian for our class." I felt her hand slip into mine on my lap and I squeezed it back gently.

"She was told a couple months ago, actually." I commented, "And she's been working on her speech ever since."

"It's almost done, I don't want it to be totally boring."

My parents congratulated her and Esme got up to give Bella an actual hug. She was still beaming brightly when my mother sat back down. "That's a wonderful achievement, Bella."

We spent the rest of dinner talking about what was left in the year for us, and upcoming finals and dances. Bella dropped a few hints of what her prom dress looked like, but didn't give an outright description. I felt like I was being teased, and all I was allowed to know was the color so I could be sure to match the vest in my tux.

After dinner Bella and I helped clear the table and bring out coffee. Bella didn't drink any, but nibbled on the small piece of cake that my mother had made for dessert. Conversation turned to the summer and my parents mentioned maybe going away on a trip, and of course Bella was invited to go.

"Well, I already asked Bella if she wanted to stay here for the summer, and she would love to." I told my parents, answering for Bella who was currently chewing on a piece of cheesecake. She nodded in agreement.

"We'll look into something nice. I'm sure you two would love to have a break somewhere before college." Esme offered. We both nodded vehemently. I was hoping they would pick somewhere tropical, I wanted to go somewhere warm and colorful, plus I would get to see Bella in a bikini.

My mom excused us from clearing the dishes after dessert so we retreated upstairs. I made sure my bedroom door was closed behind us before I grabbed Bella and pulled her down onto my bed with me. "That was nice," she sighed as we settled down.

"I'm glad you had fun. I know my mother can be a bit eccentric at times."

"It's ok, my mom was, too. Although she wasn't as good at cooking as your mom. Whatever that was, it was delicious."

"Yeah, that was definitely one of her better experiments."

We started making out for a little, caressing gently. We were just about to start taking each other's clothes off when there was a knock on my door. I sat up first making sure my shirt was righted and grabbed a pillow into my lap to cover my hard on.

Thankfully it was my mom and not my dad. "I just wanted to know if Bella needed anything to sleep in?" she asked.

"I have something for her."

"Ok, I'll see you two in the morning. I'll make French toast."

"Sounds great, mom." I was getting tense because I wanted to get to my love session with Bella. But there was something else I needed to do first.

As soon as the door was shut, I hopped off the bed to lock it and then hopped back up. Bella was already lying back down on her back. "I have to say, I really like it here, and I really like your parents."

"I'm glad." I pulled her into the curve of my body and threaded my hand in her hair, bringing her mouth to mine. "I have something for you." I whispered when we parted. Bella quirked an eyebrow at me.

"I thought we agreed on no gifts?"

"Well, I saw this the day Jasper and I went out, we stopped at the mall first for some lunch and I couldn't help checking out a jewelry store, just to see if they had anything nice. And they did,"

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a little, black velvet bag and opened it. I took Bella's hand and unfurled it then tipped the bag over and let the contents fall out into her palm. I watched her for a moment as she examined the necklace. It was yellow gold, with a heart-shaped locket with three little flowers above it, but the reason I had gotten it for her was the engraving on the outside of the locket. It said across the front of the heart, "_I Love you_", and I knew the moment I saw it I had to give it to her.

"This is beautiful, Edward." Bella smiled up at me, and I knew she wanted to cry, but was holding it back.

"It's ok," I whispered, stroking her cheek. A few tears slipped out.

"Will you put it on?" She asked as she sat up and shifted her hair over one shoulder. I looped the necklace around her neck and clasped the catch. It fell midway down her chest, nestled perfectly below her collarbone. "Thank you, Edward," She leaned in and kissed me gently. "I feel like such an ass now,"

"Don't," I rubbed her thigh, shaking my head. I hadn't wanted anything, and yes we had agreed on no gifts, but giving her this locket was a way for me to tell her everyday that I loved her, every moment we weren't together she could look down and see that I love her. Of course, I would always be sure to tell her at least a million times a day anyway, but the locket would be a nice reminder.

"I feel like I should give you something."

"You don't need to, Bella. There's nothing that I want."

Bella quirked her eyebrow again and got off the bed. She had already toed her shoes off earlier, and removed her scarf, but now she began sliding her skirt down her legs. "Nothing?" she asked in a light, breathy voice.

I sat up a little more on my bed and swallowed thickly. Underneath that lovely skirt was a lacy, light pink thong. My breathing hitched a little and my jeans got tighter. Bella now pulled her shirt over her head, to reveal a cream colored, lacy bra. I reached down to undo my jeans because the pressure from my hard on was becoming unbearable.

Bella stalked over to me, clad only in her sexy as fuck underwear and the locket I had just given her. She climbed up on the bed and took over undoing my jeans for me. She then proceeded to slide them and my boxers down my legs and then began unbuttoning my shirt.

I moaned because I was so glad to be rid of my jeans, and because while Bella was unbuttoning my shirt with one hand, the other was tugging on my cock. She kissed me longingly as she rid me of the rest of my clothing. When we finally broke apart, both of us panting heavily, I grabbed a condom from my nightstand and ripped it open. Bella stood up on my bed as I attempted to sheath myself and decided to drop her panties right in front of me.

"Jesus Christ, are you trying to kill me?" I panted. Bella settled herself back down right across my lap.

"Maybe just a little," Bella held up her thumb and forefinger barely a half inch apart.

"Well, you're succeeding." I wrapped my arms around her, drawing her body down to mine. Bella lifted her hips so I could position myself, and as soon as I had she lowered herself onto my aching cock. It was like coming home, sliding balls deep into her hot body.

I turned my head into the pillow and Bella buried her face into my neck as me both moaned, hoping we muffled the sound enough so that my parents didn't hear. Bella started rocking against me almost immediately, forcing a rhythm out between us. I was already insanely hard so it wasn't going to take me long.

After a few minutes I sat up, wrapping Bella's legs around my waist. She looped her arms around my neck for support, leaning in to me as we continued to move together in perfect harmony. I whispered in her ear over and over how much I loved her, how much she meant to me. Bella repeated those words back to me with such passion that I had to pull her head from my shoulder and kiss her.

Moments later my body burst into flames as I exploded and stars shined behind my eyelids. Nothing had ever felt this intense before. I couldn't control my motions, and was thrusting as hard as I could, trying to push Bella over the edge so she could ride this wave with me. I could feel her muscles tighten around me and then she was writhing in my arms as her own orgasm overtook her.

We collapsed back to the bed together panting heavily. I took a moment to dispose of the condom then rolled back over folding Bella up into my arms. She had removed her bra while I was rolled away from her, and was now completely naked like me. She sighed as I tucked her head into my shoulder, sounding completely content, like she wanted to be nowhere else in the world. And that thought made me smile. I pressed a soft kiss to her forehead as she began to fall asleep.

"I love you, Bella," I whispered, "Happy six months."

"Happy six months, Edward," she whispered back, "I love you, too."


	19. Prom Night Peril

**A/N: Chapter 19, revised.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**BPOV**

So prom was finally here. And Alice was freaking out. As if twenty-four hours in a day wasn't enough she had to demand more time in order to get ready. Seriously, girl! It's just a dance.

"Alice, it's just a dance." I told her after breakfast. We had appointments in town to get our hair and nails done. But as the words left my mouth Rosalie and Alice both gaped at me as if I just said a really, _really_ dirty word.

"It's not _just a dance_, Bella." Alice snarled, yes she snarled. The girl was falling apart at the seams. "It is the Academy Awards of all high school dances. It matters what you wear, it matters when you get there, it matters who you're with, it matters…"

"Ok, I get it!" I snapped at her, interrupting her soon to be rant and no doubt hyperventilation attack, "Everything matters,"

"Everything _does_ matter, Bella. Not one little aspect can be overlooked when it comes to prom."

"Yeah, but here's my point," I interjected, holding my finger out so Alice wouldn't interrupt me. She opened her mouth to speak, but shut it when I glared at her. "This dance only happens once, and you're going to be wearing this dress only once, _maybe_ twice. There's really no need to get all spazed out about it."

"But that's just it, Bells," Rosalie jumped in, "This dance only happens once, don't you want to make the most of it?" She sounded all dreamy, her voice floating, and I knew she wasn't stressing over tonight as much as Alice was. "Well, I'll see you girls in a little bit."

Alice and I waved goodbye to her and headed back to my room so we could gather our makeup and the little jewels we were both having put in our hair. We still had about an hour before we needed to be at the salon, and since it wouldn't take us long to get there we both decided to take quick showers so we could relax. Our guys were somewhere in the school. Jasper was helping to decorate the dining hall for tonight, and Emmett and Edward were probably shooting pool in the student lounge.

I just couldn't wait for all of this to be over with. Dances were definitely not high on my list of priorities, ever, but since Edward and I _had_ been nominated, and I had been saving that dress for my prom, I wanted to go. Oh wait, that's right, Edward and I were fucking _nominated_. I _had_ to go.

Besides us was Rosalie and Emmett, of course, and Tanya and her new boyfriend Tyler Crowley, also a jock like Emmett, so no surprise there. I was just bewildered when the nominees had been announced and Edward and I were among them. We had been at lunch when the prom court list was read off, and Edward immediately grabbed my face and kissed me hard. Rosalie just looked smug like she had been expecting it, and I was sure she had been.

I was barely dressed when Alice was banging on my door saying we needed to go or we would lose our appointments. I grabbed everything I needed and headed to meet the over anxious pixie. Alice was literally wringing her hands as she waited for me in the hallway. Rosalie was leaning against the wall glancing at her fancy watch.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," I said in a snarky tone. Rosalie looked up appearing confused.

"Oh no, that wasn't about you," she indicated her watch, "I'm waiting for Emmett to call me and say he has his tux."

"Oh," I just shrugged. "Ok, well lets go." Wow, when did I turn in to the Wicked Bitch of the West? I shook off the attitude and followed the girls out to Rosalie's car. We listened to the radio on the way over, Rose and Alice talking shoes and makeup and hairstyles.

I just sat in the back taking it all in while I decided on how I wanted to wear my hair tonight. Rosalie insisted I do an updo, Alice insisted I wear my hair down. I was thinking of meeting them halfway, just to appease them both and also just so I could do what I wanted, and not what they wanted.

"Bella, are you listening?" Alice asked from the front seat. I snapped out of my musings and met her gaze in the rearview mirror.

"Yeah, of course."

"What do you think? Short and spiky, or should I have them straighten it?" She was talking about her hair, again.

"I think you should do whatever you think looks best."

"I knew you would say that," Alice exclaimed throwing her hands up in the air. "Didn't I say she would say that?" She asked Rosalie.

We arrived at the salon a few minutes later and filed out of the car, our makeup bags in hand. We were a few minutes early for our appointment, and we weren't the only girls here getting their hair done for the prom at our school tonight. I recognized a couple girls from French class who were getting their long hair twisted up into some elaborate creation that I was sure cost a fortune.

Within the next hour Rosalie, Alice and I were all seated in chairs, getting our nails, toes, and hair done. I felt like I was being tortured as my hair was taken one little segment at a time and curled precisely, while another woman painted my toenails and fingernails black.

Alice and Rose both went with a standard French manicure and pedicure. I was stepping outside the box of normal, because that's just who I was. Anything but normal. I was done first of the three of us. When I saw the completed look for the first time I was actually impressed. My hair was curled loosely into soft waves, the sides pinned back. Down the back of my hair the stylist had placed the few shiny clips I brought with me. My makeup was simple and not overdone at all. I was quite satisfied with the way I looked.

Alice was the second to be finished, her short hair lying stylishly flat against her head with tiny clips that glittered like diamonds fixed in. Her makeup was slightly smokier than mine, but still tasteful. Rosalie had the most extravagant hairdo of the three of us. Her golden hair was piled on top of her head into a crown and she had a royal blue decoration pinned into it. I thought the effect was very Marie Antoinette, but Rosalie could pull it off well.

Now all that was left was to go back, have some lunch, then chill for the afternoon before getting dressed this evening. Alice insisted on getting food on the way back, since she didn't want to eat any of the school food that was sure to make her bloat before tonight. Rosalie agreed and we grabbed salads at a local deli, opting to sit and eat them instead of going back.

By the time we finally arrived back at the school, the outside decorations had gone up and the area for photos was being staged. I thought it was all a little over the top, but I had to admit the school looked nice with all of the twinkle lights in the trees trying to create the wonderland that was the theme of the dance.

Alice had texted Jasper before we arrived to find out where the boys were just so we wouldn't run into them. Apparently they were all camped out in the dining hall for now, having been recruited to help put up some of the higher placed decorations. So we all headed back to the girls' dormitories for the rest of the afternoon and tried not to touch our hair.

With an hour to go before the prom was supposed to start, Alice and I headed across the hall to Rosalie's room with our dresses and other things to get ready. I was still counting the minutes waiting for this all to end, but as I watched all three of our outfits come together, I had to admit I was actually getting really excited.

The last thing to put on was my jewelry, and I had decided to forgo the bracelet I picked out when we went shopping, and had Alice loop the locket Edward had given me for our six-month anniversary around my neck. I though the gold of the necklace went well with the color of my dress. Once Alice and Rosalie saw the dress on me they both admitted that despite it was more of a party dress, they both really liked it.

I stood in front of Rosalie's long, gilded mirror admiring the way the skirt flounced out only a tiny bit making the dress flirty and fun. Alice came up behind me to straighten the top of her short purple dress and turned this way and that to admire the silver sparkle of her shoes.

"You look really pretty,"

"Thanks," She smiled nervously and fidgeted with the necklace she had on. "Do you think Jasper will like it?"

"I think he's going to need help picking his jaw up off the floor." I whispered with a smile. Alice giggled and smiled back, her shoulders visibly relaxing as, I'm sure, she imagined the effect her dress would have on her boyfriend.

Rosalie glanced up from where she sat at her vanity fixing her lipstick and smiled at us both. "They should be here any minute." She reminded us. "You girls have your flowers for them?"

Crap.

"I picked them up yesterday," Alice dashed into the bathroom and came back with two plastic containers, one with a purple flower and one with a white flower. "This is yours," She handed me the white rose. "Don't worry, they're not as hard to pin on as everyone says they are."

"Oh good, I don't want to stab him." I popped open the lid and took out the white rose. I began to imagine the wristlet that Edward may have gotten me. I hoped it was nothing ornate.

Alice suddenly jumped and squealed when there was a knock on the door. Rosalie fixed her hair once more and then got up to answer it. It was time.

Emmett's tall, broad frame filled the doorway, and I swear I think his jaw hit the floor when he saw his girlfriend. He stuttered out a couple compliments on her dress and managed to get the royal blue wristlet on her without breaking it. Jasper was standing right behind him, rolling his eyes at Emmett as he took Rosalie's arm and guided her out into the hallway. Alice and I walked out to greet our two men, but Edward was not out in the hall waiting for me.

I heard a door open and shut and looked up to see him rushing down the hall to get to us. He stopped about five feet from me, his mouth hanging open in obvious appreciation.

"Bella…you look…just, wow…" He stammered, his hand shaking slightly.

I blushed profusely, feeling the heat all the way down onto my chest and I hoped I wasn't breaking out in a heat rash. He wasn't holding a plastic container, but Jasper was. Inside was a beautiful purple orchid, which he very delicately placed on Alice's wrist.

"No flower?" I asked, feeling just a little disappointed.

"Of course I have a flower for you." He finally walked up to me and took my wrist. From his pocket he pulled out a wristlet, but it was fabric flower, a gauzy and slightly shiny black Dahlia. I thought it was absolutely perfect. "No florist I went to had any black flowers, or could recommend anything that would go with your dress. So I picked this up." He slipped the elastic band around my wrist.

"It's perfect, exactly what I would have wanted. Now it's my turn." Edward held perfectly still, as did the other two, as we all pinned our roses on them. Emmett managed to flinch and Rosalie wound up pricking his collarbone. After a round of laughter that eased the tension I was feeling, we all headed down to the dining hall for pictures first, and then the fun would begin.

"Enjoying yourself?" Edward asked as we moved slowly on the dance floor. It was well over an hour into the dance, and we were about to sit down for dinner, but I wanted to stay out here close to him until the very last second of the last song. He pulled my hand closer to his chest and laid it over his heart.

"Yeah, I'm actually having a great time. I can't wait to see our pictures."

Edward smiled, "Me either, I know my mom will want to 'ooh' and 'ahh' over them for days." He didn't sound too thrilled about it.

"And tell us how perfect we look together…" I drawled on for him.

"Blah, blah, blah…" He smiled at me again and spun me out for the last few beats of the song, then spun me back in, holding me as close as possible. When the song finally ended, we were the last to leave the dance floor and make our way over to the tables. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rose were already there, and much to my dislike, although I didn't show it, Tanya was there as well.

"The whole court has to sit together," Alice explained as I sat down, Edward holding my chair out for me. "Just makes it easier later in the night when they have to call the court, and they know where everyone is."

I mentally slapped my forehead again because I forgot…again that Edward and I were nominated tonight. I didn't know which outcome to hope for. It would be amazing to win, but then we would have to dance together with the entire school watching, and I knew I couldn't do that without making a fool of myself.

So I did my best throughout dinner to not think about it and talked with Edward about college, both of us ignoring the glares that Tanya threw our way. We discussed the separate, unfortunately, dorms we would be in. They weren't that far of a walk apart, and we had a lot of the same freshman classes for the fall. Mostly introductory stuff, writing and sciences classes and all that mandatory boring stuff.

I just couldn't wait to get started on my literature classes in the spring, and Edward couldn't wait to start the harder sciences. "You're going to do so great." I whispered to him, laying my hand on top of his on the table, "a straight A student."

"And what about you, my little classic literature guru? You don't expect straight As in any of your classes?" He teased.

"Of course, but what you're going to be doing is much harder."

"Lets change the subject and talk about something a little more appealing than college?" Edward asked, cutting off a small piece of the gooey chocolate cake we had been served for dessert. He offered it to me and I let him feed me the small piece.

"May I return the offer?" I asked, holding my fork out to him. We took turns feeding each other the rest of our dessert back and forth, laughing quietly. I was finally having such a good time that I didn't even notice the announcement for the prom court to come forward.

"Do we really have to do this?" I whined as Edward took my hand and folded it into his arm.

"Yes," He led me forward, Rosalie and Emmett in front and Tanya and Tyler behind us. I glanced up at him as we approached the front of the room, a rather smug smile on Edward's face as he guided us forward. I knew he was watching the expression of each male classmate that we passed, knowing they wished they were ones escorting me.

"Don't be such an ass."

"Why not, I'm enjoying this."

"I'm not."

"Stop," Edward patted my hand just as we stopped at the front of the room and turned to face the crowd while we waited for the winning king and queen to be announced.

I was both pleased and disappointed when it was Rosalie and Emmett, not that I had expected any less, but it still would have been cool to win. Edward and I watched as they were crowned and then given the dance floor for the traditional king and queen dance. I could already feel Edward slipping an arm around me in preparation for leading me out to the floor.

We had barely wrapped our arms around each other when the last person I had wanted to see tonight came over interrupting our dance.

"Would it be terrible if I ask if I could dance with Edward for just a minute?" Tanya didn't smile, she kept a straight face as she made her simple inquiry. I was about to snap at her to leave us alone, but I was better than that.

Edward looked down at me, a little unsure about being left alone with Tanya. "I guess a minute wouldn't kill me." He sighed quietly. I gave him a light kiss before I stepped aside.

"I'm going to go find Alice, but I'll be right back." I whispered before finally letting him go. I was more than hesitant to leave the two of them alone for any measure of time. I did not trust Tanya at all with him, I knew the kind of person she was, and she was not a pleasant one.

"Bathroom break?" I asked Alice when I found her a moment later. It was only an excuse just so I wouldn't have to watch Edward and Tanya together, even if it was completely innocent.

"Yeah, I need to pee." Alice admitted with a sheepish smile. We spent more than a couple minutes in the bathroom, Alice needing some time to primp and preen. I waited patiently by the door, other girls moving in and out.

Alice apologized when she finally managed to tear herself away from the mirror, deeming herself 'all fixed'. I contemplated poking some fun at her as we walked back to the dance, just to see how she would react to me telling her she was still a little smudgy under her left eye.

To my surprise she actually laughed at me and rolled her eyes, but I caught her conspicuously swiping her finger under her eye, just to be sure. We walked back into the dining hall laughing quietly at our little inside joke. To my intense dislike, Tanya was still monopolizing my boyfriend on the dance floor. I could tell he was trying to keep her at arms' length, as much as possible without being rude. He clearly did not want to be around her.

But then Tanya leaned in, and Edward didn't pull back. I felt my heart jump into my throat and my stomach bottom out. There was no way…

I was still standing there after five seconds, and Edward still had not pulled back. Without thinking about it I turned and walked out of the dining hall.

**EPOV**

I watched Bella walk out with Alice, probably heading off to the bathroom. Tanya was saying something, but I wasn't listening. I hated her for interrupting my dance with Bella, and I hated even more that I had allowed her to do so.

"Look, I just want to apologize, Edward. I know…"

"Don't even start, Tanya." I interrupted her, "Tonight is not the appropriate time for this, nor does it even matter to begin with. We've never been friends, and I've never been interested in you. You're not my type, Tanya, and frankly I don't think you're a very good person."

"Are you done?" She asked with an exasperated sigh.

I shrugged nonchalantly. I honestly had no interest in hearing what she had to say.

"I want to apologize for what I've said and done in the past. I've been trying to be a better person over the year. I've had a really messed up self esteem problem, and I know that. I've been trying to work through it. But that's not my point."

"What _is_ your point, Tanya, because if you don't make it in the next thirty seconds I'm walking away. I have a date who's waiting patiently for me."

"I just want to say I'm sorry," Tanya leaned in and placed a soft kiss on my cheek.

I was about a half second away from pulling back in disgust, but Tanya pulled away first. She had lingered a moment longer than necessary, but it still had shocked me enough to leave me immobile.

"Enjoy the rest of the dance, Edward." She wished me quietly before letting me go, and walked off.

I looked up glancing around for Bella, only to be met with the sight of Alice rushing out the door after her. I had seen her face at the very last second and there was no mistaking the expression on it.

I hurried out, following Alice and Jasper. Alice had caught up to Bella just outside the girls' bathroom and was guiding her into a corner. I could already hear quiet sobs wracking Bella's small frame and the sound made my heart clench.

"Bella, I swear he didn't do what you think you saw. You know Edward loves you and you know he wouldn't do that."

"But I saw it, Alice!" Bella shrieked.

"Bella, please listen to me…"

"Bella," I approached slowly. I saw Bella look up and notice me. She got to her feet so quickly I was astounded that she didn't fall. And then she was rushing toward me, fire in her eyes. Her little fists made contact with my chest, my shoulders, my arms, all the while accusing me of something she thought she had seen.

"I didn't kiss her, Bella. Bella, listen to me!" I grabbed her wrists as she finally gave up and held her to keep her from falling. "It was nothing, Bella. Why are you doing this?"

"I've been waiting for this, Edward!" Bella cried, her voice muted since her face was buried in my chest.

"What do you mean 'waiting for this'? Have you been expecting me to cheat on you?" I asked incredulously.

"No…I mean…" Bella picked her head up. "I'm so confused, Edward. I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop with Tanya."

"I don't understand why, Bella. All she wanted to do was apologize."

"Why didn't you push her away?"

"I didn't have time to react, Bella, and she wasn't being slutty. She was actually being nice."

Bella sniffed loudly. She glanced up at me, her eyes still wet and her makeup smudged. I did my best to wipe away her tears the best I could. "Bella, please believe me."

I glanced up to see Alice and Jasper heading back to the dance as quietly as they could. I nodded to her in thanks discreetly and she smiled back. Bella was still sniffling in my arms as I walked her over to a low bench away from the noise of the prom.

"I'm going to kill her." Bella choked out. She laid her head on my shoulder, trying to gain control over her shaky breathing.

"Bella, please, I didn't kiss her. She kissed me, and it was completely innocent."

"You don't think maybe she had some ulterior motive, maybe she wanted to see what I think happened?"

"The point is it didn't happen, Bella. Why are you freaking out like this?"

"I don't know…" Bella shook her head and hung it in shame, her eyes fixed on her shoes. "I'm sorry, Edward. Maybe I haven't changed as much as I thought I have. I still can't trust people."

I cupped her face in my hands making her look up at me. "Do you trust _me_?"

I watched Bella's eyes shift as they bored into mine. She was hesitating with her answer. "Bella,"

"I trust you," Bella whispered.

"Do you really?"

Bella nodded almost immediately this time. "Yes, I do, Edward. I'm sorry."

"Just don't run away, Bella. I don't want to think of you running away from me, for any reason."

Bella tucked her head into my shoulder, her body still shaking with the last vestiges of her sobs. "I don't want to go back to the dance. I want to go to bed."

"Then lets go to bed."

I helped Bella off the bench, keeping my arm tight around her waist more so because I wanted to keep her close. "I'm sorry I destroyed tonight."

"You didn't," I assured her, increasing the pressure of my embrace.

"Dances just really aren't my thing."

"Yeah, I've gathered that over the past few months."

Bella pouted, "I'm sorry, have I been a bitch?"

"Not a bitch, just really whiny."

"I'm sorry,"

I chuckled lightly as she apologized yet again for something she didn't need to. "It's ok, Bella. Honestly, I feel the same."

I locked my door behind us and chucked my jacket over my desk chair. Bella was already trying to unzip her dress, and obviously having a hard time with it. Without her asking me I helped her get the dress undone and draped it over my jacket on the chair. Bella pulled the decorative pins from her hair while I got the rest of my clothes off leaving them in a discarded pile.

I knew sex was not happening tonight. Bella was most definitely not in the mood, and although I was, I was more than happy to end the night snuggling with her under the sheets.

I pulled Bella as close as I could and kissed her temple, feeling her body already relaxing into a state of deep slumber. "I love you, Bella. I always will."

I wasn't sure if Bella was responding to me, or if she was talking in her sleep, but I know heard her mumble, "I love you, too Edward, so much."

And I knew that we would be ok.


	20. Morning After

**A/N: Chapter 20, revised. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**BPOV**

I woke up before Edward the next morning and got dressed in some of the clothes I left in his room before making my way quickly back to mine. I had just shut the door behind me when there was soft tapping from the other side. Alice.

I opened the door a crack to see her wrapped up in a fluffy robe, her eyes asking silently if she could come in. Once my door was shut again, Alice sat herself down on my bed and began fidgeting with the tie on her robe.

"Are you ok?" She asked quietly.

"I'm fine," I didn't meet her eyes, although I could feel them following me around my room as I put my jewelry from last night away and hung up my dress.

"Is Edward up?"

"No, he's still asleep."

"You left before he got up?" Alice's tone was slightly accusatory, and I felt bad for leaving Edward, but I needed time to myself to think.

"I need to be alone for a little while."

"Oh…Um…ok, I'll leave." Alice started to get up, but I motioned for her to sit back down.

"No, I mean…just away from him for a bit. I really made a mess last night, overreacting like I always do, and I know I was being stupid, and letting my emotions get carried away with some silly high school drama, but…" I sat down next to Alice letting out a huge sigh as my brain processed what it was I wanted to say. "I know Edward would never cheat on me, and I know he wants nothing to do Tanya, but that doesn't stop her from continually trying to break us up."

"How do you know that's what she's trying to do?"

I let out another deep sigh, starting to feel really stupid again, like I had last night. "I don't, I just have that feeling."

Alice laid a hand on my shoulder, "Bella, you have no proof that that is what Tanya is trying to do, although I wouldn't put it above her. She's a conniving little bitch, and if there's something she can't have, then nobody can have it. Although, Edward isn't an 'it', he's a person, and you see that. Tanya doesn't. She just sees him as another piece of ass to lay." Alice giggled at the end of her own crude statement, but frankly there was no better way to put it.

"I'm being so stupid," I half cried as I buried my face in my hands, "I'm going to make a train wreck of our relationship."

"No," Alice shook her head, "No you're not. Come on, let's go for a walk. I'll go get dressed, and we can take a short walk outside and really talk."

I relented and allowed Alice to pick out something nice for me to wear for the day. It was Saturday, and I would have been content to spend the day in bed in my pajamas with my stuffed St. Bernard, but Alice had other plans.

When we were both dressed she took my hand and linked our arms together as we headed outside. "So tell me what happened last night after Jasper and I left. The last thing I remember is Edward asking if you believed him."

"I never confirmed that last night. I told him I trusted him, but I didn't tell him I believed him."

"Why the hell not, Bella?" Alice exclaimed. She startled a nearby squirrel, and it darted up a tree to hide. "How can you tell him you trust him when you're doubting it yourself?"

I kicked at a couple pinecones on the ground instead of answering her question. "I'm so confused right now, Alice."

"What are you so confused about, Bella? That you think you can't trust him? Bella, listen to me." Alice took my hand and led us over to a bench under a couple young maple trees whose leaves were just finally starting to unfurl. I picked at the buds as Alice went on. "Bella, Edward loves you. We all see it. I don't know if he's ever told you this, but his personal life hasn't exactly been stable either, granted it's been more stable than yours…" Alice stopped and I saw her glance at me out of her peripheral vision to see if her comment had effected me.

"We've watched him go from fling to fling over the years, but he was never happy. It was like he was trying to satisfy an itch, but it was too deep to scratch so he kept trying different methods."

"In other words he just moved on from flavor to flavor."

"If you want to put it that way. But then he met you, Bella. He's never been in a real relationship before, and this is the first that all of us, Rose, Emmett, Jazz and I, have seen him truly happy to be with someone. And that's you, Bella. You bring out a side of him that we never knew even existed. I've never seen him smile so much as he has since he's been with you. He really loves you, Bella."

"I know he loves me."

"Do you love him?"

I looked up at Alice, completely shocked by her question and I was sure it was evident on my face. How could she ask that? "Of course I love him, Alice." She quirked an eyebrow in question. "Why are you questioning it?"

"I'm more so making you question yourself, Bella. I want you to confirm to yourself that you love him as much as he loves you. But I also want to understand what it is that's making you question your faith in him."

I didn't answer; I just stared at my feet. "Does your ex have something to do with it?" Alice asked, trying to meet my downcast eyes.

"Yes," I mumbled.

"Well, that's in the past, Bella, and as far as I've seen you've done very well with moving on from your past."

"Not as well as I thought I had been."

"And Edward wants to be there to help you in every way that he can, but you seem to be pushing him away at the same time and still trying to handle this on your own. You know you don't have to, Bella. Whatever it is that's still hurting you we all want to be there to help you."

"I need to do this on my own."

"You did enough on your own, let Edward help you. Why are you closing him out? What are you so afraid of happening?"

I chose not to answer again, and when Alice was done waiting for my reply she asked the question that was the primary concern on my mind. "Do you think he's going to leave you? Are you afraid that at some point in time you're going to lose him, too? If you keep thinking like that and acting like it's going to happen, then it will, and you _will_ lose him, Bella. Is that what you want?"

"No," I gasped, tears starting to force their way up. Alice reached over and wiped them away. "He's the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I couldn't bear it if I lost him. I need him like I need air to breathe, Alice."

"Then stop waiting for the other shoe to drop, Bella. You can't live like that. You can't live your life expecting everyone that you love to leave you."

I sniffed loudly thinking of my parents. No, they had not left me; they had been taken away from me. But that had never stopped me from feeling the guilt. Guilt that I was still living with no matter how hard I fought it.

"I think I need some time alone."

"What do you mean?" Alice shook her head in confusion.

"I need some time…without Edward…to figure some things out. I think I need a break from him."

"Bella, no, you can't do that to him." Alice shook her head more forcefully now, and she turned me so that I was looking straight into her eyes. "Bella, you know you can't do that. It would break his heart and yours, and you know you would never be able to live with it. You just told me a minute ago that you need him like you need air, and now you're saying you want a break?"

"I told you I was confused, Alice!" I shouted, now getting to my feet.

Alice stood up as well and had me sit back down beside her. "Then maybe you need to talk to someone."

"Do you know how many times I've had that conversation with Edward?"

"And I'm sure he brings it up because he loves you and wants to help you, he wants you to feel better."

"I don't need help." I sat back against the bench crossing my arms over my chest defiantly.

"There you go again, pushing him away, and he's not even here. When are you going to stop, Bella? What does he have to do to prove to you that he's never going to leave you?"

I just shrugged.

"I would like an answer to that."

Alice and I both looked up in shock as Edward rounded the corner on the path walking into view. How long had he been close by? How much had he heard?

"I would like an answer just so I know and I can start proving it to you, Bella." He stopped, leaning against one of the light posts and shoved his hands in is pockets. "Jasper came looking for you and when neither of you answered he came back and knocked on my door." Edward started, looking first at Alice, and then he turned his eyes to me. I hung my head when I saw the sadness in them. "And I was already up, terrified when I found my bed empty next to me, because I could have sworn I hadn't slept alone last night."

I didn't answer him. I was remaining unusually quiet this morning because I knew my thoughts would betray me and voice themselves before I had a chance to stop them, so I was safer keeping my mouth shut.

Alice stood up and brushed off the light sweater she was wearing. "I'll go inside and find Jasper. You two need to talk." She gave me a quick hug and then headed off leaving Edward and I alone.

"We need to do a lot more than talk." Edward stated plainly as he sat down next to me.

**EPOV**

Bella made no move to get closer to me on the bench, and I made no move to try and put an arm around her. I had woken up not half an hour ago, and when I discovered the bed empty next to me my first thought was that Bella was in the bathroom. But then I sat up and noticed her dress was gone, and that was when fear gripped my heart.

Jasper knocked on my door only minutes later telling me he couldn't find Alice, and that Bella wasn't answering her door either. I got dressed and headed outside to look for them while Jasper roamed the hallways and checked the library. I was relieved when I saw Alice and Bella sitting on a bench near the science wing of the school. They were talking in low voices, and Bella didn't seem to be in the best mood.

Not wanting to alert them right away to my presence, I hung back and tried to listen to the subject of their conversation, but what I heard made me almost stumble. Bella was talking about needing time alone to 'figure things out' whatever those things may be. However, what made my heart almost stop was her saying that she thought she needed a break from me in order to do that, to figure things out.

I stood there feeling my chest constrict tightly as Alice went on, telling Bella that maybe she needed to talk to a therapist, and I knew the way that was going to go. How many times had I asked Bella to see the school counselor? How many times had she denied that she needed help?

When Alice finally asked her what it was that I needed to do to prove to Bella that I was never going to leave her, that was when I decided to approach them.

"I would like an answer just so I know and I can start proving it to you, Bella." I stopped and watched her digest that, and while she was staring at her feet I explained about Jasper to Alice and she got up to go, leaving Bella and I alone to talk. But we needed to do so much more. I wanted to finally get to the bottom of what was going on in her head, because I didn't know what else to do, and the last thing I wanted was for her to self-destruct.

"Are you going to answer me?"

"I don't know, Edward…"

"You don't know what I need to do, or you don't know if you're going to answer me?"

"Both," Bella sighed and leaned back against the bench. She looked absolutely terrible this morning. Her face was still a little red from crying, her eyes slightly puffy. I don't know how Alice let her walk out of her room with her hair such a mess, but none of that mattered to me.

I turned halfway so that I was facing her and reached over to take her hands and laid them in my lap. "Bella, I need you to tell me what it is you're thinking. I can't read your mind and it's driving me crazy that you're being so quiet. I need to know what's wrong. Is last night still bothering you?"

Bella nodded slowly. "What about last night is still bothering you?" I asked gently.

"You," She whispered, sounding ashamed of her own answer.

"What about me?"

"The fact that you let her put our relationship in jeopardy like that."

Ok, now I knew she was making excuses. Tanya had not put our relationship in jeopardy, but I was still going to ask her today, albeit stealthily, whether or not she had been trying to trick Bella last night.

"Bella, lets just forget last night ever happened, ok. Aside from the great time we had before it all went to shit. Tell me what's really wrong."

Bella took a great shuttering breath, her eyes starting to well up with tears. I knew I was getting somewhere. She only shook like this when she was letting out something hard for her to face.

"I still think that this, us," and she waved at the space between us, "Is going to get fucked up somehow. Nothing good ever lasts with me, Edward. I'm cursed."

I took her chin in my hand and lifted her face to mine. "Bella, you are not cursed. And the more you think like that, the more difficult your life is going to become. How can you think you're cursed after everything that's happened since you came here? What about me?"

I suddenly regretted the words as they left my mouth. Now I was making Bella sounds as though she were ungrateful. And her expression mirrored my thoughts as she looked up at me, tears silently streaming down her face.

"I'm horrible, aren't I?" She choked.

"No, no, I'm sorry I said that, I didn't mean it that way." I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. It was killing me on the inside to know that was something was still hurting her, haunting her steps, and that she wasn't telling me what it was. I wanted to get rid of this ghost, to help her heal completely. But Bella needed to want to help herself first, and over the last six months she had been doing so well with that.

Why did this one little, insignificant event have to shatter everything she had built up?

"Bella, please tell me. It's breaking my heart to see you in so much pain."

"I'm sorry, Edward. I don't mean to make you feel like you don't matter to me. You do, you're everything to me. I sound like such a hypocrite." Bella sat up and wiped at her eyes roughly. "I feel terrible for making you think you don't matter to me, because you do. I love you."

I smiled, exultation flowing through me, and despite how desperately I wanted to kiss her, I held it back wanting to save it for a better moment. Right now I wanted Bella to keep talking, to get everything out.

We sat out on the bench for the next hour, words flowing from Bella as she recounted all of her fears to me as she had done in the past. She was petrified of losing me because she couldn't pull herself together. She admitted that in the beginning, although she had liked me, she was hesitant to start a relationship because she was so withdrawn into her head that she thought she would never come out of it and would have pushed me away.

She spent a good amount of time with her head against my shoulder, tears silently falling. Her chest heaved with each breath she took, with each admission she gave me. It was painful to watch her experience this, but it was necessary. She needed to draw all the poison from her mind, and this was how it needed to be done.

When Bella finally stopped and her tears subsided, I sat her up so she was looking at me. I brushed some hair behind her ear to get it out of her eyes and wiped the last couple tears from her cheeks.

"Do you feel better?"

"Not really,"

At least she was being honest. Despite everything she had told me, she had never answered my original question. What did I need to do to prove to her that I was never going to leave her?

"You know I love you, Bella. And you know I'm going to love you no matter what happens. I know myself well enough, even though I'm only eighteen, to know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Bella sniffed a couple times and hiccupped. It made me chuckle and brought a small smile to her face. I leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. She had honestly changed me from the reckless teenager I had been at the beginning of the year to a mature young adult with something to live for, and someone to love.

I owed her so much for that. I finally had the stability in my life that I had been looking for, and a damn good reason to be the best man I could be, and it was all for her.

"I'm so sorry, Edward."

"Will you stop apologizing?"

"No, I need to." Bella sat up and took a couple breaths to steady herself before looking at me again. Her eyes were set firmly, staring straight into mine. "I need you to know how sorry I am for not having trusted you as I should have. For having allowed myself to get so lost in my own head that it clouded my judgment about you. It's not fair the way I've been acting toward you, Edward, and if there's anything I can to make it up to you, just say it."

"Just tell me you love me."

Bella nodded fervently. "I do, Edward, I love you."

I cupped her face in both hands and kissed her this time. Her hands came up to hold my face as she kissed me back. I could feel her crying again, but this time I knew they were tears of joy. When we parted, Bella folded her head into her my shoulder, and I wrapped my arms around her rocking her gently for a few minutes.

"Everything is going to be ok." I told her.

"I know, I believe you."

We were silent for several long minutes as we just sat there holding each other. We didn't need to say anything else to each other; it was all done. There was nothing left to say anymore. It was about actions now. And just sitting here holding Bella, I knew that this was more affirmation for her than me talking. She needed silent affirmation more than vocal; she needed the real truth and not her idea of the truth.

When we got up I folded our fingers together and held her hand firmly. Bella squeezed back and laid her head on my shoulder. We wandered in a general direction back toward the dining hall, and as we approached a thought occurred to me that came out of nowhere.

"How's your valedictorian speech going?" I asked.

"Oh, shit," Bella grimaced. "We're graduating in two weeks aren't we?" She smiled sheepishly at me and chuckled to herself. "Guess I need to write that don't I?"

"It might be a good idea."

"Want to help me?"

I felt my stomach rumble just then, and Bella glanced at me a faint blush painting her cheeks. Why was she embarrassed?

"Can we eat first?" I asked, trying to shake off my own embarrassment.

"Yeah, I'm hungry, too."

I draped my arm around her shoulders and she reached her hand up to lace our fingers together. "No more running." I made her promise as we walked into the school.

"And no more withholding." She promised back.

I dropped a kiss to the top of her head, smiling as she snuggled a little closer to me.


	21. Making Amends

**A/N: Chapter 21, revised. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight**

**EPOV**

"This is impossible!" Bella exclaimed, making several heads look up and glare at us. We were sitting in the library at one of the two-sided desks. Bella was trying to work on her valedictorian speech and I was studying for the biology final.

Bella glanced around apologetically then bent over her speech again. After a few minutes of listening to her talk to herself and scratch out every other sentence she wrote down, Bella finally grunted in frustration and ripped the piece of paper from her notebook crumpling it loudly.

More heads looked up this time, but Bella ignored them, going back to her speech.

I leaned over the desk so I was closer to her and whispered, "Do you want some help?"

"No, I'm fine." Bella half snapped. I know she didn't mean it, but that didn't mean it didn't frustrate me.

"Ok," I sat back down and pretended to return to my studying. Bella huffed a few more times in frustration and crossed out a couple more sentences as she wrote them down. When she crumpled up the second piece of paper she finally looked up at me, her eyes pleading softly.

"Ok, yeah, I need help." She smiled sheepishly. I got up and moved my chair over to sit next to her. For the next half hour we worked on her speech together, trying to find the right words she wanted to say to convey her message. She had the idea of it in her head, but putting it down on paper had her completely stumped.

She wanted to talk about second chances and taking opportunities every chance you can because you never know if you'll get another shot at it. I know she was referring to our complicated relationship throughout her speech, and it was her way of letting me know she was truly sorry for all of the shit she had put both of us through.

Even though she had already apologized a dozen or more times at this point, she still felt she owed me so much. I had stopped arguing with her about it, in the end I knew I was not going to win. I was better just letting her do what she felt she needed to. It was a step toward helping her heal completely. Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, you had to back off a little and give that person the space to do what he or she thinks is necessary. Of course sometimes what the person wants may not always be helpful, but I think in Bella's case this is helping her wrap her mind around a lot of things that have been troubling her for a long time.

"Ok, I'm starving, I want food." I moaned quietly, stretching backwards in my chair to relieve some of the tension in my shoulders.

Bella glanced around the library. There were only three other students still in here besides us. Everyone else had left to go to dinner already.

Bella sighed heavily, obviously tired, and started packing up her things. "Ok, lets go."

We dropped our bags off in our separate rooms before heading to the dining hall and met up outside the doors. Bella stood on her tiptoes for a moment to place a light, chaste on my lips, surprising me with her unexpected affection. I let my arms wrap around her naturally, doing everything I could to not drag her back to my room and lock us away for the rest of the night.

My stomach grumbled again in protest making us break apart and chuckle. Tonight's dinner was pasta, and the cooks for our school had prepared several different kinds that were spread out on the buffet table. Bella made herself a bowl of penne with red sauce while I decided to indulge in some calorie-loaded fettuccini alfredo.

"So how's the speech coming along?" Alice asked once we were all settled at our usual table.

"It's getting there. I had some help this afternoon getting it started."

"It's going to be epic." I commented through a mouthful. Jasper shook with quiet laughter off to the side, bowing his head over his own dinner to hide his grin. Yeah, I know, I have the worst table manners.

Emmett twirled some of his spaghetti around his fork and shoved it in his mouth, "I can't believe there's only a week left." Or at least that's what I assumed he said, since his mouth was stuffed with pasta. His manners were worse than mine. Rosalie smacked him upside the head making Emmett gag on his food.

"You are such a pig." She hissed at him. Of course she was perfectly dainty with her food after that, taking one tiny bite after another.

Bella suddenly took a huge forkful of her penne and tried to fit the entire bite in her mouth at once, much to my surprise. Alice followed suite with her own pasta, shocking Jasper, who watched her with his mouth hanging open. The entire table burst into a round of laughter once we all managed to chew our food. It was moments like this that we all lived for. The random outbursts of acts and raucous that defined us all as friends. I wouldn't give any of this up for the world.

With only a week left, workloads basically ceased in all of our classes and our teachers put the emphasis on studying and reviewing. Most of my exams were cumulative, I shudder at the word, and I had to locate all of my notes from the beginning of the year. I wished I were as organized as Bella, keeping my notes in separate binders for each class instead of using one massive notebook for everything. Maybe once I'm in college, I'll learn. But after considering that for a moment I decided it was about as likely to happen as me cleaning my room. Which hardly ever occurred.

Bella and I both knew that finding time to spend together was going to be difficult since we both had eight finals to study for and she had a speech to finish. The senior commencement ceremony was scheduled for three days after the last day of finals. My parents would be driving in to watch Bella and I graduate and then they were taking us out for dinner. All students had to be moved out five days after the last day of classes. So on top of studying, we all had to pack as well. My parents planned to stay at a hotel nearby for a couple days so they could help us get everything loaded into two cars and then Bella and I would drive back to my parents' house in my Volvo.

We had already planned months ago that Bella was staying with us for the summer before she and I had to move to college late in August. I was looking forward to summer vacation more than anything right now. It was going to be almost three months of uninterrupted bliss, and I knew it was going to be the best time of our lives before starting college.

~*~*~*IT~*~*~*

The last five days of the semester were filled with finals and students rushing through meals just to score a few more minutes of studying time before their next exam. Starting Monday Bella and I both had our chemistry and calculus finals, Tuesday we had French and biology, Wednesday was health/gym class and English, and finally Thursday was history and art for Bella and music for me.

Students who had finished an exam early were welcome to come watch the music class finals. It entailed the students performing the major pieces they had been working on since January. For me it meant playing for the first time all the way through the piece I had written for Bella. I had wanted to present it to her in private before the final, but there hadn't been time. I was desperate to complete it before today and didn't think I was going to have it done.

But as I sat down on the piano bench, twenty fellow students were sitting around the room, my classmates watching and waiting, and my peers pretending to be paying attention. If you were here because your final was over early, you had to stay. I didn't care that most of them were texting friends or playing games on their phones. I glanced around hoping to see Bella, but hers wasn't any of the faces occupying the seats. With a resound sigh I turned back to the keys and let my hands find their natural position over the black and ivory.

My teacher sat off to the side, his pad in hand as he prepared to critique not just my performance but my original work as well. I took a breath and placed my right foot on the pedal and began to play.

The music flowed easily from my fingers at first as they moved over the keys and played the familiar parts of the piece. Once I began moving deeper into the composition, coming up on the parts I had only just written not five days ago I felt the power of the music building inside me and spilling out. The notes rose and fell in a melody that was filled with passion and sweetness. I poured my heart and soul into the piano as I continued to play, hoping that I conveyed those emotions to my fellow classmates as they listened to the music that defined my soul.

As I brought my piece to a close, trailing my fingers delicately over the last few notes, I managed to glance around the room one more time from under my lashes. I still didn't see Bella, and I felt my heart sink just a little. I finished the piece and stood up from the bench to face my teacher. He as well as the rest of my class and those listening were applauding me rather loudly. I even got a few whistles.

I could feel an atypical blush begin to color my cheeks as I walked over to my teacher and shook his hand before making my way back to my seat. Before I got there however, I noticed by the doorway a familiar tote bag hanging on the shoulder of the girl I had been looking for. I hurried over to Bella sweeping her up and twirled her around once before setting her back.

"Did you hear the whole thing?" I asked eagerly.

"Yes," she nodded. "It was beautiful, Edward, truly."

"It was all for you."

"I know,"

I tipped her chin up to me so I could kiss her gently. The whistling from before turned to catcalls and we broke apart, both of us blushing profusely. I grabbed Bella's hand keeping our fingers tightly laced as we walked over to a couple empty seats and sat down. I received a lot of positive comments on my music and a couple shoulder claps from my classmates. Bella and I sat there with our hands laced on top of my knee for the rest of class, watching the other performances, which were mostly piano although none received a greater response than mine had. I was just a bit smug about that.

With finals officially over, we had Friday to relax, and Bella needed the time to put the final touches on her speech. We were hanging out in her room for the day. While she sat hunched over at her desk I lounged on the bed with a book I had been trying to finish. I had put together a summer reading list that I wanted to accomplish, although it wasn't that long because it took me forever to get through one book. But I thought it would be something nice Bella and I could do together on a sunny day while laying in the hammock together in my backyard. I know, sappy, but it was a fantasy I was entertaining.

"Done," Bella set her pen and smiled over at me jubilantly. "That feels so good to say. Now all I have to do is rehearse it for Sunday."

"Can you believe we're actually graduating high school already?" I asked as I set my book aside. "Doesn't it feel like it just started?"

Bella made her way over to the bed and snuggled up next to me. "I can believe it, and I'm so glad its over."

"Yeah, me too. But there were some really good parts about it." I stroked her hair meaningfully and she smiled up at me before pressing her lips to mine. I pushed my book to the floor where it hit with a muted thud.

Our kiss turned to fumbling and groping almost immediately. Three weeks of frustration and stress and sexual tension was about to explode between us, only to be interrupted by a distinctive, melodic tapping on Bella's door. Alice.

"No effing way," I grumbled. "Can we ignore her and pretend we're not here?"

"No you can't, especially since I can hear you." Alice called from the other side of the door.

"You have the worst timing." Bella told her when she opened the door.

"Sorry, I must be psychic or something."

"Or just attuned to people whenever they're about to have sex." I interjected in a snarky tone.

Alice stuck her tongue out at me. "I like the first idea more, less voyeuristic."

"Please don't tell me you're here because you want to go shopping?" Bella drawled.

"Ok, I won't. Just get your purse and we can go."

"Oh, come on, Alice, no more!"

"Just one last trip, Bella, please? We need to get dresses for graduation."

"It's not 'one last trip', Alice, I'm sure you'll be dragging me out at every opportunity you have over the summer." Bella mumbled as she toed on some flips flops and grabbed her little purse.

"Not if I have anything to do with it." I said it loud enough that Alice could hear me, and she just scowled while I grinned at her.

"Will you come with me?" Bella asked over her shoulder, her eyes pleading silently.

I pulled myself off her bed and put my shoes back on before joining her and Alice in the hall. "When we get back, we're picking up where we left off before we were so rudely interrupted." I whispered to Bella as we walked out to Alice's car.

"Agreed," She nodded, and grinned at me suggestively. I managed to subdue the moan that built in my throat and settled for giving Bella's ass a little tap as she got into the car. I grinned to myself when she squealed.

"I really like that dress, Bells. And if you don't get it I'm buying it for you and you're wearing it regardless." I sat just on the outside of the ladies' fitting room watching Bella twist and turn as she admired the cut and flow of the sky blue dress she had picked out to wear for graduation.

"I really like it, too, and you don't have to worry because I'm getting this one. I can't believe they actually tell us to wear blue under the gowns. It's not like anyone is going to see."

"Blue is the school color, and I think they say that just to make sure whatever it is you choose to wear won't be visible through the gown."

"Oh yeah, because that would be such a tragedy…" Bella remarked, her tone heavy with dramatic sarcasm. I chuckled to myself quietly. I knew Bella wouldn't care if anyone could tell she was wearing a black dress under her gown, but rules were rules, and we all had to follow them.

Alice took a bit longer to pick her dress out, and couldn't decide between two different styles that I had no idea were even different to begin with, but apparently the cut of the neckline is very important. According to Alice if it's too low you're looking to be called a whore, and if it's too high you're just stuck up and prudish.

I simply shrugged at her explanation and Alice stomped off in a huff to try her selections on. Bella and I were hanging out outside the fitting rooms, just sitting and resting our hands on each other's knees while we waited for Alice. Every few minutes or so Alice would call for Bella to come help her or to offer an opinion and then Bella would come right back out to me and sit down with a heavy sigh.

Alice was all smiles as we walked back out to her car half an hour later. "Thanks you two for indulging me, I totally owe you both."

"Yeah you do," Bella and I answered Alice together.

In thanks for dragging Bella out and interrupting our time together Alice promised to not bother us for any reason until Sunday morning when she need to steal Bella away from me to get her ready for the ceremony.

For the rest of that time I intended to spend as much time with my girlfriend as possible, starting with where we had left this afternoon in her bed. I waited to hear the sound of the lock on Bella's door before capturing her in a passion-filled embrace that I know made her toes curl.

We collapsed onto her bed together, our lips still locked. Clothes were strewn around the room, we groped each other the best we could as we positioned ourselves in the center of her bed. The only sound to be heard was our mixed ragged breathing as we met each other again and again for each kiss.

I grabbed a condom from Bella's nightstand, and after sheathing myself in the latex I sunk into her as slowly as I could. Bella wrapped her legs tighter around my waist, urging me deeper. It had been weeks since we had been together sexually, and it was like our first time all over again. It felt like coming home.

We moved slowly at first, wanting to enjoy each moment of our long overdue union, but after only a few minutes it wasn't enough for me, and I began to move against Bella's small body harder, rougher. Maybe a little harder than she had expected because she gasped in shock the first I thrust into her as hard as I could. She nearly cried out as I buried myself balls deep, barely pulling out before I pushed back in.

It was by far the most intimate sex we had together thus far in our relationship, the most explosive. So many afternoons we had snuck back here after eating a very quick lunch, just so we could have a moment together. But not in so long had we taken the time to simply enjoy each other and push the other to the limit.

I pulled Bella close to me when I came, the fire in my groin exploding outward until I was numb from the pleasure. Bella gasped and suddenly her body was clenching around mine as her own orgasm shook through her. With a shuddering sigh I collapsed beside her on the bed, turning away for a moment to dispose of the condom in the trash, and then rolled back over to face Bella.

She had her hand over her heart and was still trying to catch her breath. "That was…" she laughed suddenly as her hand came up to her forehead and she ran her fingers back through her hair. "I can't even find the words."

"I think I know what you mean."

Bella rolled onto her side so she was facing me and pulled the sheet up to cover her breasts, giving herself just a little bit of modesty. "That was long overdue." She folded her arms under head and smiled at me.

"Yes it was. I'm up for another round if you are." I waggled my eyebrows at her and she rolled her eyes. "Come on, you know once is not going to be enough for me."

"I more than know that." Bella turned onto her back, staring at the ceiling for a long minute.

Her silence eventually got to me and I had to ask, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just contemplating the best way to do this."

"Do what?"

She rolled herself over once more, but this time kept going until she was straddling my hips. I grabbed another condom from her nightstand and quickly sheathed myself before grasping her hips and lowered her onto me.

We lay back on the bed when we finished, dazed and breathing hard, both of us completely sated for now. "Now I'm hungry." The words left my mouth before they even registered in my mind. Bella burst out laughing and shoved me gently. I took that as my cue to get up and get dressed so we could head down to dinner.

"Do I get more sex after graduation on Sunday?"

"God, I should never have indulged you!" Bella exclaimed, shoving me once more, but this time it was harder and I nearly hit the wall in the hallway.

I just laughed it off and slung an arm around her shoulders affectionately.


	22. The End of One Road

**A/N: Chapter 22, revised. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**EPOV**

"…We head out in the world today prepared and waiting for whatever life chooses to throw at us. And along the road that has led us all to this point we may have taken the wrong turn here or there, we may have stumbled, and we may have made bad choices. But this is time to make those mistakes, because right now we get the chance to learn from them, to correct them. College is a second chance for all us to rediscover who we are. What we want. Who we want…"

Bella's eyes fell on me in the sea of light and dark blue polyester robes in front of her. How she could even see me I didn't know. But she gazed right at me from behind the podium, smiling as she delivered her valedictorian speech. I smiled back encouragingly and watched her take a breath to steady herself. She had never been good at public speaking, but she was shining in her moment now, caught up in the emotion of the day and the energy from her fellow classmates. We were all so ready to put the last four years behind us and start fresh, just as Bella was saying, to discover who we truly are and not what we thought we were for the last four years.

"…And so I congratulate you all on four years of hard work. I can not believe we are here at last."

Bella wrapped up her speech to an enthusiastic round of applause and I heard Emmett whistle loudly somewhere behind me and shout out his approval. Bella blushed profusely as she took her seat next to Jasper on the small stage. I was glad the school had decided to have the ceremony outside, it was beautiful weather, although hot. Jasper was up next to present his short speech as class president, and it took only a few minutes less than Bella's. Next our dean got up to offer his congratulations to the class in front of him, and the president of the school followed.

When it was finally time to hand out the diplomas, Bella and Jasper walked off the stage together and took their seats among the other students as we all got ready to stand up and proceed alphabetically to receive our high school degrees. The moment that paper touched my hand I felt free. I had my real life in front of me now, and I couldn't wait for it to begin.

After all the diplomas were handed out all the students flip their tassels to the other side of their caps, and once we were proclaimed the graduating class of 2011, three-hundred blue caps went into the air. I didn't care if the one I picked up was mine or not. I wanted to find Bella and wrap her up in my arms and tell her how proud I was of her.

My parents found me before I found Bella, but they wanted to wait to take pictures until she made her way over to us. I saw her burst through a crowd of students who were offering her compliments on her speech and congratulating her on being valedictorian.

When she was finally free she ran at me as fast as she could and threw herself into my arms. I caught her and lifted her up spinning her around a couple times before setting her on her feet. She had barely touched the ground before her lips were on mine.

It was the happiest moment of my life. I could hear my mother snapping off a few pictures of the two of us, and I hoped we weren't being too rude for public, but I'm sure my parents would have given us some kind of signal that we were.

"Oh come on, save that for later." Emmett called out as he approached, his arm around Rosalie's shoulders.

Alice and Jasper made it over to us last and all our parents snapped off several pictures of the six of us together.

It had been a long, hot day, and we were desperate to get inside to our bedrooms so we could shower off and change before going out to dinner. Only my parents didn't know that I intended to share Bella's shower real quick with her.

My parents were taking us to a local exotic restaurant, a little pricy, and Bella was glad she had decided to wear the same blue dress she had worn for the ceremony. You know you're paying a lot for dinner when the first thing the waiter does is pull your chair out and place your napkin in your lap for you, at least for the ladies.

"Bella, your speech was wonderful." Esme complimented her when we had settled at our table.

"Thank you, Edward helped me a lot." Bella reached over under the table and took my hand giving it a squeeze.

"I'm so proud of both of you. This is such a big day."

"What classes do you two have lined up for the fall?" Carlisle asked next.

I quickly breezed through the line up for both Bella and I so she could have a chance to look at the menu and decide on a drink. We were both taking a couple of the same humanities classes so we would at least see each other in class a few times a week if not more. But of course we would be seeing each other more, I just didn't mention that part to my father since I knew I would receive the 'don't forget about your studies' responsibility speech from him.

We talked mostly about the summer and what Bella and I planned on doing for three months before heading off to college a few states away. My parents were planning on taking a short vacation together some time in July, leaving Bella and I alone to play house for a long weekend together. I couldn't freaking wait.

Halfway through dinner my father mentioned maybe getting a timeshare beach house for a few weeks in August before Bella and I had to start packing again. We both jumped at the offer and the idea of getting away to the beach for the last few weeks of summer. Images of the two of us lying out on the beach under a huge umbrella, or floating in the water together while we made out filled my mind and I almost forgot my food in front of me.

I didn't want to think about the end of summer and what it was going to mean, but at the same time I was so excited to go away to college and start my medical career. Bella was more than anxious to dive into her literature major as well. Her enthusiasm for her studies poured out of her as she talked about it during dessert, all the while I was trying to feed her little bits of my cheesecake, but she just kept going on with my mom, who just as enthusiastic about the conversation as Bella.

By the time my parents dropped us off at the school for the night Bella was exhausted and clearly ready for bed. Many students were milling around in the halls as we walked back to my room. Banners and streamers had been hung on every available surface in the senior dorms and loud music was playing from most rooms. Many of our former classmates appeared to have just gotten back from dinner with their families as well, still dressed in their clothes from the ceremony.

I made sure my door was locked behind us before I began removing my clothes from the day. Bella was already out of her dress and waiting on my bed for me when I turned to her. And when I saw what she had been hiding under her dress all day my jaw hit the floor.

She sat up at the head of my bed, her body curled seductively, but still leaving everything on display. She was clad only in a matching royal blue bra and thong set, the color contrasting beautifully with her creamy skin.

"I've been saving this one." She smirked at me.

"I'm glad," I managed to say, my brain still trying to reconnect from turning around and seeing Bella like that. "I though you were tired."

"And I knew you would believe that, it was the only to divert your attention so I could surprise you like this."

I got up on the bed and crawled over to her, pinning her body under mine as I pressed my mouth to hers possessively. Bella moaned into my kiss, her hands fisting into my hair as she pulled me closer.

"I almost don't want to take these off, they're too pretty." I grabbed at her left breast to emphasize my point.

"The bra doesn't have to come off." Bella mumbled in between kisses.

"Then it won't…" I let my hand slide down her bare abdomen and rest between her legs. "But these will." I claimed her mouth once more as I slipped my hand past the seam of her panties and slid them down her legs. Bella moaned loudly as my hand passed between her legs once more on its way back up her body.

"Edward, I've been waiting all day for this, don't tease me."

I kissed along the line of her neck making her writhe beneath me in anticipation. "I'm not teasing," I whispered in her ear, "I'm just making sure you're ready for me."

"I'm ready," Bella panted.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes,"

I quickly sheathed myself in latex and slid inside her until I was buried to the hilt. We moaned in unison at the connection, my body falling against hers, her leg sliding around my waist pushing me even deeper.

As much as I wanted rough sex right now, I was gentle and slow. As much as I wanted to lay my claim to Bella I took my time with her and loved her tenderly. As a result, the pleasure between us was a slow build, inching closer and closer to an explosive end.

I collapsed beside her when my body finally stopped its spasms and I disposed of the used condom before rolling back over and wrapping Bella's warm little body up in my arms. "Perfect end to a perfect day," I whispered as I nuzzled her hair, inhaling the sweet scent.

"Yeah," She sighed and let her entire form relax into mine. She twisted herself around in my embrace and snuggled her head under my chin. "I don't think it could have been more perfect."

We lay in comfortable silence for a while, and I didn't know if Bella had fallen asleep. "How are you feeling?" I asked it mostly just to break the silence, but I was genuinely curious. I wanted to know, after the entire school year that had just passed and everything we had been through together, how her mind was wrapping around it.

**BPOV**

At first I didn't know how to answer Edward's question. It was honest enough, and he deserved an answer. I just wasn't sure how to word my emotions without making it sound trivial. I chewed on my lower lip for a moment as my mind flipped through a mental vocabulary.

"I feel stronger as a person than I did nine months ago."

Edward smiled and leaned in to kiss me gently. "That's so good to hear. But what about everything else?"

"Like what?"

"Just everything else that has happened."

"It's been confusing, and a harsh learning experience." I pushed Edward onto his back enough so that I was slightly hovering over him. "But it has taught me to open my heart, to let go of the past and not let it control my future. I feel like I'm finally giving myself a chance at happiness, which I know is what you've been trying to give me."

I leaned down and kissed him, smiling against his mouth when he kissed me back. "I hope that was the answer you were looking for because I honestly have no other way of wording it."

"You worded it fine, Bella."

We exchanged a few kisses before I laid my head on his chest, ready to go to sleep. "I want to talk to Tanya."

At first I thought I was hearing things, that I had started to fall asleep, but Edward had actually spoken those words. "Ok, about what?"

"I just want to talk to her."

"Ok, I trust you. I just don't trust her."

"I know, I don't either, and if she touches me I will file a complaint this time."

I picked my head up and stared at him, confused. "Why would she?"

"Because she tried to come on to me again last week. She thought we had broken up after you ran out at prom.

"She is such an assuming, conniving witch." I muttered, rolling onto my back.

"Don't let it upset you."

"I'm not, I just can't believe that after all this time she's still trying to get in your pants."

"Well, Tanya is a self-loathing, unhappy person by nature. All that crap she fed me at the prom was just that, crap."

"When will you talk to her?"

"Tomorrow, I just want to get this over with. And since we're both moving out tomorrow…"

"What better time to do it." I finished for him. Edward curled around me, pulling my body into the curve of his. I felt him nuzzling my hair, kissing the back of my head.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love _you_, Edward." His embrace tightened around me infinitesimally and his breathing evened out and deepened. I was glad today was finally over, and I could allow myself to fall into a peaceful slumber, which I did, lying exactly where I always wanted to be.

The following morning we both woke up early, and while Edward used my shower I finished packing the last few items that were still lying around my room. I couldn't believe I just spent the last nine months of my life here in this room, and it almost felt like home to me.

After I took a shower myself and got changed Edward and I headed down to the dining hall for a very quick breakfast, and then he was off to give Tanya his last, and I mean last, ultimatum. He asked me if I wanted to be there, but I told him I trusted him and I start getting our boxes piled up in our rooms. Edward relinquished his room key to me and I got to work.

I could only imagine the shit he was going to say to Tanya, how he would lay into her and threaten her once more with legal action if she so much as approached him in the grocery store over the summer. I knew of course that that would be a lie if he said as much, but it didn't mean I didn't find the potentiality of it funny as hell.

I was so thankful that the witch was moving to California for college, and that she was staying. If there was one thing everyone knew about Tanya, besides what a major slut she is, its that ever since her freshman year of high school she has been wanting to move to California and never come back.

As soon as Edward got back, and I could see the frustration written all over his face, he called his parents to let them know we were ready, luckily they were already on their way over. "So tell me what happened." I asked him, sitting down on the edge of his bed. "Did she still try to hit on you?"

"Of course she did, its what she does." Edward sat beside me but then laid back letting out a huge sigh, and I could see his shoulders visibly relax. "First I called her out on all of her bullshit at prom, and how I knew everything she had said was crap. Then I told her that nothing on Earth would ever make me want to leave you, especially for her."

"Aw, Edward…" I rubbed his knee and gazed at him with affection. He grinned back.

"Then she got really close to me, and I held my hand out to make her stop, but she still came up to me, and whispered to me. She was trying to be sexy and it was not sexy at all. It was disgusting how desperate she was acting. Anyway, she whispered to me, 'if you ever get bored over the summer, you know where to find me,"

"That whore!"

Edward visibly shook and I tried to hide a laugh but failed miserably. "I'm so glad I got that over and done with, I _hate_ talking to her. She's just vile." He sat up and smirked at me, reaching out and playing with my hair. "And she is most definitely not you, and _you_ are who I want."

Cue the heart melt.

I tried to smile back, but my eyes felt so wet that it seemed impossible for me to smile straight without crying. This man was just too sweet to me and I don't how he was still putting up with me after all of the shit I put him through for the last few months.

"Have you always been this sweet of a guy, or do I bring it out in you?"

"I've never been an asshole, but until I met you I never felt the need to be sweet. You make me want to be sweet, but just to you. Of course I've always been…"

I cut him off as I pressed my mouth against his. Almost immediately his hands came up to cup my face and we fell back against his bed together. Our kiss had just begun to turn serious when Edward's phone started and to ring, and he tore himself away from me to answer it.

"My parents are here," he grumbled, shoving his cell phone back into his pocket. "I guess we'll have to finish this later.

"Guess so," I shrugged, "but why don't you finish your sentence? The one I just interrupted."

Edward looked confused for a moment, but then he registered what I was talking about and smiled as a blush starting creeping into his cheeks. "I've always been sweet to my mom." He finished from before.

"That's so cute, the blush I mean."

He shoved me playfully, obviously embarrassed. But I thought it was really nice. He kissed me quickly one last time and we got up from his bed. It was time to load up two cars, say farewell to high school forever and get ready for the rest of our lives to begin.


	23. Epilogue

**A/N: Epilogue, revised. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. **

**EPOV**

I stood in front of the dresser gazing at my refection in the mirror as I watched myself struggle with the Windsor knot I was attempting to do. You'd think after all the year I spent in private high school and having to tie the same knot five days a week, I would be able to do this by now, but no.

"Bella, we need to go, we're going to be late!" I shouted over my shoulder at the bathroom, hoping she heard me.

We had only just moved into our new apartment together last week after graduation. The last four years of college had flown by and before we knew it we were both being handed our degrees. Mine in biochemistry since I was pre-med, and starting medical school in the fall, and Bella's in literature. She had received a job offer back in March for a local editing company and jumped on it. She was starting next week and couldn't wait.

I was so proud of her. She had worked so hard for the last four years, and going into her senior year she had almost decided to change her major to journalism, since she had become petrified that wouldn't be able to find a real job after graduation, but she stuck with it and wound up receiving a job before we even earned our degrees.

We had planned on moving in together before last week, but we just never managed to find the time between our busy school and work schedules and managing to get enough money together. I didn't want my parents helping us at all, and Bella still had a little money left over from her parents' life insurance policies. We both had been offered scholarships when we applied to Harvard and had eagerly accepted them, so that right there saved us a ton in the beginning, but we still got small jobs to keep some cash in our pockets over the last four years, and saved the rest of it for our little apartment we now shared.

It wasn't much, but it was big enough for two people to start out in, plus we had our own washer and dryer, which is the reason we chose this apartment in the first place, and it was located around the corner from all the important day-to-day necessities like groceries and Starbucks. Money issues were going to be easier now that Bella had a full-time job, but our lives were about to blow up since I would be starting med school and she would be busy with work. But we knew we would manage.

"Bella!" I called for her again, and I knew I sounded angry, but it was only because I couldn't get this damn tie tied right. It always came out lopsided.

She stuck her head out of the bathroom door, a blush brush in her hand, "What, I'm putting my makeup on."

"We needed to leave five minutes ago."

"I'm aware of that, but I can guarantee not even Alice and Jasper are there yet, and it's their wedding rehearsal."

"Can I have some help?"

"I'll be right there." She smiled at me and ducked back inside the bathroom to finish.

Tonight was the rehearsal dinner for Alice and Jasper. He had proposed in our junior year of college, but they had both decided to wait until after graduation to tie the knot. We all knew it had been coming, there was never going to be any separation to the two of them.

The wedding was in three days, I was best man and Bella was the maid of honor. I hoped the practice tonight went quickly so we could all head off to dinner together and then I could whisk Bella away. But since Emmett and Rosalie were going to be there tonight I doubted we would get home before 1 AM. Rose and Emmett had flown off to Vegas for spring break this year and came back with wedding bands on their fingers, much to everyone's surprise.

They were planning a more formal ceremony, just to appease their parents, sometime next year. Neither of them were in much of a hurry, and I knew it had more to do with the fact that Rosalie was pregnant and due some time in December. When we all found out the whole flying-to-Vegas-to-get-hitched thing made a lot more sense.

"Ok, what's the problem?" Bella asked as she came up behind me. She looked stunning in the light gray dress she had picked to wear tonight, and her makeup was light and tasteful.

"I can't figure this fucking thing out." I sighed, exasperated. Bella had me turn and face her and she quickly did up my tie with no trouble. It always amazed me that women were better at this than men. Why was that?

"Ok, are we all set?" She asked as she slipped on her heels and grabbed her clutch.

"We're all set."

Bella walked out of the room ahead of me and I took a moment to make sure the little black box I had stored in my pocket was still there. I know tonight was supposed to be about Alice and Jasper, but I wanted to get Bella out of the party as soon as I could. I had waited two long years to ask her, and tonight was going to be the night. I couldn't wait any longer, and even though if she said yes, and there wasn't a doubt in my mind that she wouldn't, we would wait to make the announcement until after Alice and Jasper got back from their honeymoon.

"First you yell at me that we're t running late and now you're the one lollygagging around." Bella laughed from the doorway.

"Sorry, I zoned out."

"Must be something important to have consumed your mind like that." She smirked at me. If only she knew.

Bella was right that Jasper and Alice hadn't arrived at the church by the time we did, only because I didn't see Jasper's car in the parking lot, but everyone else was here and waiting.

"Probably trying to fit a quickie in before they had to be here." Bella commented as we walked inside.

"Don't put that image into my head, please."

"Two down, two more to go." Emmett announced as Bella and I made our entrance into the church. "Where the hell are they?"

Just as the words left his mouth, the door opened behind us and in walked Alice and Jasper looking appropriately embarrassed for being late for their own rehearsal, but not guilty. In fact they were both smiling broadly, their hands clasped tightly, and I knew it was from Bella's correct guess at where they were and not so much as to why they were here.

"About time," Emmett called from up by the chancel. "We've been waiting."

Neither Alice nor Jasper apologized but walked down the aisle and we got started. Alice and Bella went back out in the front portion of the church to wait for their signal to walk back in, and Jasper and I stood at the altar with the minister. I kept glancing at my watch as Bella and Alice made their slow procession down the aisle with Alice's father, wondering if I would feel just as antsy when it was my own wedding day.

But I looked up to see Bella smiling at me as she walked ahead of Alice and my mind was filled with an image of her in a flowing white gown and that brilliant smile spread across her face as she made her way down the aisle toward me, her waiting groom. I shook the fantasy from my head and got back into focus. Jasper was waiting for me to hand him the rubber rings they were practicing with tonight, and the two quickly exchanged their practice vows and rings. The minister went through the motions of declaring them husband and wife and Jasper went in for the kiss. However, since they were now in the company of their parents, the two lovebirds kept it PG rated, although I was sure in three days' time it wasn't going to be.

We all followed them back up the aisle and set up to go through the ceremony one more time. Alice was being a real stickler tonight with the details, and I knew she wanted her wedding perfect and to flow without a single problem, but I really didn't want to be in the church anymore after two hours, and Emmett had already called the restaurant to make sure we didn't lose our reservation.

Finally Alice determined that everything was set, and the ceremony would go off without a hitch, although something was bound to happen anyway and we all knew it. I was actually considering deliberately making something happen just to see how Alice would react, but I wasn't that cruel. Emmett might do it, though, if I asked him.

"That took forever," Bella sighed in her seat next to me as we all settled at the restaurant.

"Sorry," Alice apologized from the head of the table. "You know I'm a perfectionist."

"We know, but that doesn't mean you can keep us all hostage in a church for over two hours just to make sure you aren't walking to quickly or too slowly for the music, just walk down the damn aisle. I mean hell, we all know you want to run."

Jasper burst out laughing at Bella's comment and excused himself when a little bit of drink sprayed her plate. "She does want to run, but in the opposite direction."

"I do not! Don't accuse me of having cold feet." Alice smacked his shoulder and then crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm teasing, babe, calm down. It was a joke, ok?"

She grinned and leaned over to peck him on the cheek. "I know, I was just kidding being upset."

"Ok, change of topic." I announced loudly before Alice's little kiss turned into a public display of affection between the soon-to-be newly weds.

Our group of ten spent the next hour picking on the appetizers we had chosen instead of a big dinner and talked about where Alice and Jasper were headed for their honeymoon. They had decided to take three weeks and tour as much of Italy as they could. They listed all the major cities they wanted to see and some of the smaller, less known places. Alice had the grand idea, if they had time, to also island hop in the Mediterranean. The only way they were able to afford this was through the money they had received from both their families as gifts and the fact that Alice's parents were paying for the wedding entirely.

I was only slightly jealous, but not by much. I knew whatever Bella and I planned it would be perfect because we would be doing it together.

"Want to get out of here?" Bella asked suddenly, leaning over to whisper the question in my ear.

I looked around the table and noticed the conversation had turned to Emmett and Rosalie and they were eagerly discussing all the plans they had for their baby. Not that I didn't care, but I didn't particularly want to discuss anything baby related at the moment, and I could tell from the look on Bella's face that she didn't either.

"My thoughts exactly." I whispered back.

Bella reached over under the table and squeezed my thigh. "We're going to head out." I told Jasper as Bella and I stood up.

"Ok, I'll see you tomorrow night, and you in three days." He told both of us, commenting on the bachelor party we had planned for tomorrow night.

"Don't get him into too much trouble tomorrow, ok?" Bella asked sweetly.

"Don't let Alice get too drunk. It'll take her two days just to get over it." Jasper earned another playful smack on the shoulder for his witty comment. We said goodbye to everyone one last time and left some money to help cover the bill then headed out.

"So I was thinking maybe we could go for a walk, since it's still not too late and it's nice out." I sort of asked once Bella and I were outside.

"Yeah, sure, we can do that. I'd rather walk off the wine anyway." She grabbed my hand and we headed down the street.

"Was there anything in particular you wanted to talk about?" She asked after we had been wandering aimlessly for five minutes or so. We crossed the street and walked into a small park.

"Yeah, actually." I started. I walked us over to a couple benches and we sat down.

"Anything bad?" Bella asked, her voice now starting to sound concerned.

"No, no, nothing bad. I just…" My hand was shoved deep in my pocket, fiddling with the ring box as I tried to get it open and the ring out.

"There is something I want to talk to you about though. I'm not quite sure how to start it."

"It's ok, I don't think we're in a rush, are we?"

"No, not at all." I smiled at her. "Ok," I took a breath and tried to remember everything I had wanted to say to her, but my mind was drawing blank. Bella just sat there watching me, completely oblivious to the minor panic attack I was having.

"I love you," I started slowly.

"I love you, too, Edward."

"And I want to spend the rest of my life with you." I guess it was now or never, since I had just basically proclaimed it to her. I maneuvered myself off the bench so I was kneeling in front of her and held her left hand in mine.

"Oh my God, are you doing what I think you're doing?"

"Let me say it first before you freak out on me." I laughed. She had the worst sense of timing when it came to opening her mouth sometimes.

"Ok, I'm sorry, go ahead. I just ruined it didn't I?"

"Bella, come on."

"Sorry," She squeaked, and then sat perfectly, still, but I could feel her shaking with light tremors, and could see the shine of unshed tears in her eyes, and that just made this ten times harder. The whole speech I had prepared was shot at this point, mostly because I couldn't remember it, and I was damn nervous now that I would just stumble over the words.

"Bella, I love you, and I will always love you, and I want to be with you forever." I took another breath and waited for my heart to stop feeling as though it was about to pound right out of my chest, but that wasn't likely to happen, so I just let the words flow out of my mouth. "Will you marry me?"

I was waiting for her to say yes, but apparently when I wanted her to actually speak she couldn't. But she was nodding her head vehemently. I stood up, pulling her with me and slipped the ring onto her finger before pulling her into a tight hug.

"Yes," she finally answered, whispering it into my ear. "Yes, yes, yes."

"That did not go at all like I had planned, but…"

"But it was still perfect." She held my face in her hands as she gazed up at me. "I love you,"

"I love you more."

We stood there in silence just holding each other for what felt like forever. I thought I was flying, personally, and I was sure Bella felt the same. She sighed every few seconds in contentment, her fingers playing with my hair. After a few minutes I realized we had started to move back and forth together, almost like we were dancing.

"I bet you're glad you finally asked." Bella said as she grabbed my hand on our way out of the park.

"Why?"

"I could tell something was bothering you all night."

I smiled to myself. "Yeah, I'm glad I finally asked, but not because I feel relieved. Because I just couldn't wait any longer to make you mine forever."

Bella laid her head on my shoulder and whispered, "I'll always be yours, Edward, I always have been."


End file.
